


To You I Give My Heart

by Disturbed Turtle (fairurbanstrife)



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Assault, F/M, Female Cloud Strife, Friendship/Love, Love, Romance, Violence, Zack POV, not yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-29 16:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 70,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1007696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairurbanstrife/pseuds/Disturbed%20Turtle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meeting a new girl who just got to Shinra, Zack tries his luck but is shot down by the blond beauty. Surviving Hojo's lab, they both find more than they thought they ever would about each other. Now it is a race to stay alive and ahead of the military to avoid recapture. AU and OOC. Zack/Cloud Not yaoi, Fem!Cloud. Not a crack plot. All Zack POV. More warnings inside as needed. *Work in Progress*<br/>Beta reader is SubZeroChimera on ffnet.<br/>Please leave your comments and kudos!<br/>Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Accidental Attraction

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I am taking the geography of the FF VII world into account, same as with the monster population. However, I am taking liberties with some of it, just for the sake of the story. The OCs that I have won't be main characters, just supporting characters if that much. Well that and just plain old fashioned cannon fodder.
> 
> I have been working on ITI, but this popped into my head. It was just something that I started pondering while I was at work. As usual, I had to get it out of my head before I could move on in ITI. I hope you like it, please read and comment and tell me what you think. I am going to re-work this chapter soon, just don't know when.

"Experience does not err; only your judgments err by expecting from her what is not in her power." –Leonardo da Vinci

~Accidental Attraction~

Chapter 1

" _So, where are you from?" Zack let his eyes twinkle as he put his best smile on. He just couldn't help it; she was, to put it simply, an absolutely beautiful girl. Creamy white skin lightly blushed, but her unwavering look told him that she wasn't buying what he was selling, so he tried a different tactic, "Well, I guess you don't have to talk to me, but hey since you're new, if you need any help, just give me a holler."_

_He started walking off slowly when he heard a sweet lilting voice, "How am I going to do that, you haven't told me who you are." Finally getting to see her smile, he didn't know that there could be any way for her to be prettier, but there it was, she was melting his willpower._

" _Oh, so she speaks," He smoothly slipped back over to her, trying not to seem desperate to help her, get her number or even get her, "I'm glad you asked." A roll of her eyes got a smile out of him. As she was looking over his Soldier uniform, his smile gained a renewed vigor and with a wink he said, "I'm Zack, I showed you mine, now show me yours." He let out a light chuckle and wagged his eyebrows. The sparkle in her deep blue eyes almost set him on fire._

_A brighter blush tinted her cheeks and he hoped that she couldn't tell that he used his charm on every female he was interested in, "I'm not showing you anything." She smiled, shook her head and finished, "But I will tell you, my name is Cloud."_

_He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, but could not stop smiling at her, "So, Cloud, what brings you to Shinra?" Flipping her blond hair back over her shoulder with her hand, she smiled and pulled out a piece of paper from her bag. Before he could stop the words, he said, "Oh, so you are going to show me yours?"_

_Her face fell, the blush intensified and she turned as if to walk away, angry. Taking a hold of her arm he gently turned her around, "I'm sorry. That was a bad joke. Come on, tell me."_

_Letting out an exaggerated sigh, she pulled some of her hair that fell forward back behind her ear, "I'm here to enlist, but I want to be a Soldier. I was told that if I enlist in the infantry, it would be easier for me to get into the Soldier program."_

_To be more surprised than he was at that moment, he would have had to wake up with his hands super glued to his face, "You want to be a Soldier?"_

" _Yes, what's wrong with that?" She looked so damn adorable with her hands on her hips and a new smolder in her eyes._

" _Nothing, it's just that I haven't ever seen anyone as dainty as you want to be a Soldier," If he wanted anyone worse, it was her right then. The way her eyes hinted at her innocence, but the sheer determination behind them was what attracted him more than anything._

_Physically, he couldn't frown, long thick blond hair that waved down to her waist. The tight faded blue jeans she wore, showed off every curve of her hips, butt and her thin, but shapely legs. She was short, the top of her head easily came up to his shoulder. The loose T-shirt portrayed a cute chocobo that said 'Most Likely to Bite,' but what he was able to tell so far, there wasn't anything about her that he didn't like._

_Actually looking at her and then the chocobo, some of her hair stuck up in the front, very similar, he liked it._

" _I don't see any reason why I can't," The way her lips moved when she talked had him distracted, so when she snapped her fingers in his face, he jerked back, "You zoned out there, welcome back to reality."_

_Zack concentrated on what the issue was, and he thought that if he helped her, then maybe she would agree to go out with him, "Let's see here," Looking over the paper he felt confident, "Well here's the problem. You need to go to the secondary building for your enlistment counselor. Come on, I'll walk you there." Bending over and picking up her large duffel bag at the same time she did, they ended head butting each other, "Oh geez, I'm sorry." He knew that with his mako enhancements, it wouldn't hurt him near as much as it would her._

_As she crumpled toward the floor, she made an odd noise, but with his extra speed, he caught her just before she hit the floor. Thinking how good she felt in his arms, he stared at her soft face, Gaia she was beautiful._

_After her eyes stopped rolling around her head, she focused and looked up at his face, "Uh… I think you can let go of me now, I'm okay, really."_

_Holding his hands up to stop her from moving for her bag, "Okay, I'll get your bag, you wait right there." There it was again, that blush that rose to her cheeks and made her just that much more attractive._

_Getting her to where she needed to be, he asked, "So can I take you out for dinner sometime?"_

_As the digging in her bag intensified, she sounded flustered and irritated, but it didn't diminish the gentle voice, "Maybe. I just need to do this enlistment thing first, okay. Just give me your number and I'll call you."_

_Pulling out a piece of paper, he wrote it down and she shoved it into the side pocket of her duffel. He hoped that she would use it, but she didn't._

That was when they first met and two months later, he ran into her at a convenience store and she almost blew him off again, but she was much friendlier. Ever since then they had become really close friends and she never wanted anything more, but he had gotten used to it. Just being around her was good enough for him at that time.

Now looking at her from across the room, her face twisted as she cried out in pain, his heart and stomach ached for her. Beautiful deep blue piercing eyes found his, wishing them out of there. Hojo didn't let up on her, wasn't easy on her, he was determined to break her and make her his new project. Hojo probably wanted to know what made her tick, what made her special that she was the one who was able to kill Sephiroth.

Her screams for him had his skin cringing, there was nothing he could do but watch as Hojo tortured her, seemingly for his own amusement.

"No please don't, I… please don't do this!"

He hated hearing her lovely voice pleading as the pain intensified. Hojo never told them what he ultimately wanted, what he was trying to do, he hurt them almost daily. It had been almost three years now and all Zack wanted to do was hold her and comfort her as best as he could.

"Zack!"

"Cloud, I'm right here, I'm not going to leave you," His words almost stuck in his throat as he tried to comfort her. However, it was just a matter of time before any reassurance he provided was ripped away from her by the Professor in his madness.

Being in different cells, he couldn't hold her, he couldn't be that shoulder for her to cry on. At least they could talk to one another since they were held in barred rooms next to each other.

Taken back to their cells, they took up their normal positions behind their bars. If they reached out at just the right spot in the bars, they could touch their fingertips. That was the only physical contact that they were allowed since they had been there.

"Cloud, are you okay?"

Hearing her sniffle, she tried to sound stronger than she was, "Yes, I think so."

Swallowing hard, he began to lose it but he quickly tightened his voice, "I wish you were in here, I wish I could give you one of my hugs that you love so much." He hoped that he could cheer her up a little at least.

"Zack, as much as I hated your hugs before, I hate to admit this because you will never let me forget, but I do miss your hugs."

A painful and fearful smile drifted across his face through his tears, "I knew it! I grew on you didn't I?"

"Pfft, yeah, okay whatever," Hearing the smile that he knew was on her lips made him a little happier, "Zack, of course you've grown on me, just like a bad case of athlete's foot, you never go away."

"Oh, hey! That's it! When we finally get out of here and I am able too, I'm going to hug you and never let you go…" Even though that is how he felt about her from the beginning and it just slipped out, but considering their current circumstances, he didn't think she would get upset.

Her voice was soft, quiet as though she was afraid someone would hear it, "I'd like that."

Pulling his arm back through the bars, he sat there with his hands in his hair and tried to picture a day when they were happy. Sitting together, eating lunch and talking weapons and tactics. For him, she was perfect, she was smart, funny, interested in similar things, but at the same time, she also had her feminine moments. She would get a certain look in her eyes and he knew to steer clear, lest he incur her wrath. Seeing it first hand on a few occasions, it was unnerving. Most women yelled, argued, or just plain hated the sight of you. She was different, she wouldn't talk and the looks she gave had him wishing she would just hit him and get it over with.

"Zack?"

"Yeah, chocobo?"

"Stop calling me that!"

"But you… never mind. What is it?"

"We need to get out of here soon… I think he has something planned for me. I don't know what it is, but it scares me," A near panic rose in her voice as she described it, "It's just a weird feeling I have."

"Cloud, what is it?"

"I don't know… Just promise me something."

"Anything."

"With all the mako and other shit he's pumping into me, if he turns me into a monster… would you kill me?"

Quickly reaching back through the bars, feeling for her fingers, he fought tears at the despondence in her voice. As he always did, he tried to cheer her up, but it was difficult for him to hide his tears in his voice, "...No, I'll keep you around just to scare the kids off of my front lawn."

Despite his failed attempt to sound strong, she still chuckled, albeit nervously, "Just feed me only the good monster food, not the cheap stuff. I have my standards after all."

Wrapping his fingers around hers, he affirmed, "You got it babe."


	2. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am taking the geography of the FF VII world into account, same as with the monster population. However, I am taking liberties with some of it, just for the sake of the story.

"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." –Napoleon Bonaparte

~Changes~

Chapter 2

"Professor, the next stage of the project is ready to begin," The lab assistant looked hopeful at his idol.

"Very well, after their injections, we will begin."

After their torture for the day, a strange thing happened. Having overheard the earlier exchange, he couldn't help but wonder where Cloud was and what evil and vile things they were doing to her.

Being shoved in a cell that was different than the one that he had called home for so long, Zack looked around. One huge difference was that there were no bars; it was a large solid steel door.

The plain tan colored tiles made up the walls to a larger cell than what he was used to. His normal cell was at least half this size. Two larger cots, both against a wall, sat on either side of the room. There were sheets and blankets on them and even pillows. A door across from him piqued his interest.

A sliding metal door that went flush into the wall hid a bathroom. Amenities that he had never had while imprisoned here surprised him. A sink with actual faucets, both hot and cold and a toilet that looked like what a toilet should look like. Then there was the shower stall and a towel on a towel rack.

What could possibly be going on that he got this new more "luxurious" cell? He hadn't seen Cloud in a while, not since the lab earlier that day. Hojo had been particularly harsh with them both this morning, and now this. What Cloud had said a couple of months ago rang in his ears, she was worried that he had something planned for her.

Well there was no use in dwelling on it right now; there was no telling when he would see Cloud again. After all, there were times during their stay here in Hojo's dungeon of terror that he and Cloud wouldn't see each other for weeks. Right now, that shower stall was calling his name.

Hot water, actual hot water, he hadn't had hot water to bathe in for over three years. The sink and water that was just short of frozen was all he had had for bathing up until now. To be under a fairly high pressure waterfall of hot water that steamed up the small mirror over the sink had him relaxed.

The fluffy towel around his waist felt good, and then he felt something else, heat from the vents. So there was a heater here. Now things were starting to get eerie. Not to mention, where the hell was Cloud?

Clearing the mirror of steam, he took a look at the man staring back at him, "I need a haircut." Just thinking about it, he hadn't seen himself in a mirror during his stay either. The change was drastic, he startled at the image, and he literally didn't recognize himself. Glowing brightly, his eyes ran over his face, watching as his fingers traced along his cheeks, jaw lines and a few stress lines.

He looked older, more mature. Knowing that over three years had passed, Hojo let them know it all the time. It was just another way for him to control them, 'See there, no one is looking for you, everyone thinks you're both dead. So why do you continue to fight?' Hojo repeated those words to them boring it into their very soul. Gaia how he hated those words and he hated Hojo for everything that he stood for.

Letting the words slip his memory for a moment, he finished his inspection of his new face. Fuller cheeks, longer face and his eyes had a different hue. Normally, his eyes were a violet color and when the mako began to flow, his enhancements would cause them to be a bright aquamarine.

Now, it seemed to be an almost constant glow of a slightly darker blue. Anytime his emotions were heightened, before a battle, or when he was especially sad or angry, his eyes would glow from either a gentle glow to a ferocious burn. Even when aroused, the deep turquois would radiate a passionate flare. That one had helped in getting him laid on more than one occasion as it would excite the girl he was with. Much to his dismay, it had never worked on Cloud; she seemed immune to his charms. That was just one more thing that intrigued him about her.

Maybe it was just him, it had been so long since he had seen himself, and maybe that was what he always looked like.

Pulling the towel off, he hung it back on the bar on the bathroom wall. Running and jumping for one of the cots, he wiggled under the covers, not wanting to put his dirty clothes back on. This was the first time since being here that he stayed naked, but he enjoyed the feel of the clean sheets on his clean skin. Maybe he could get in a small nap before dinner got there or Hojo decided to torture them some more.

There was no use in laying there helpless wondering what was going on when no one would tell him anything anyway. Finding a comfortable position, his memories drifted forward. A frown covered his face as he tried to go to sleep, but it was useless, he was going to swim through the memories whether he liked it or not.

" _Listen Kunsel, there is no way that a behemoth could win against a ruby dragon," Zack side stepped a man in a suit as he walked beside his friend to the cafeteria._

" _I don't know what you've read, but behemoths are known for their strength and they use it to knock their enemy down. That's when they go in for the kill," Kunsel held the door open for a woman that slowed to look at Zack and smiled a flirtatious smile._

_Dropping the conversation with Kunsel, Zack followed the woman, "Hi there, I'm Zack."_

_The woman unconsciously twirled her light brown hair in her fingers, "I'm Janelle, it's nice to meet you."_

" _Are you new here?"_

" _Yes. This is my fourth day; I'm in the secretarial pool. You?"_

" _I'm SOLDIER first class, perhaps you've heard of me?" A sly one sided grin pulled up the corner of his mouth._

_Kunsel sighed and an audible long grunt of irritation got some of Zack's attention, "I'm going over to the table to sit with Cloud, I'll see you later."_

_An internal cringe, he didn't want her to see him talking up another girl. 'Cloud is here, I hope she didn't see me' Like a puppy that was being held by an invisible leash, Zack jerked toward the table where he saw the blond. Glancing back to the brunette while also trying to maintain a visual of Cloud to make sure she didn't see him, Zack hurriedly dismissed himself, "Listen Janet, it was great getting to meet you, maybe we'll run into each other some other time…"_

_Calling after him in a tone that was between anger and humiliation, the girl called after him, "My name is Janelle, asshole!"_

_Cloud was busy talking to Kunsel and at the sound of the raised voice of an angry woman. Zack knew that she saw him hunch his shoulders in embarrassment. 'She's laughing at me…dammit.' Although she was laughing at him for the woman's outburst, he couldn't help but melt a little at the sight of her smile. It was like looking directly at the sun, blinding and warming at the same time. He just wished that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Being as stubborn as she was though, he didn't think that he could ever break down those walls she held up so well._

_As he got closer to the table, another man walked up and put his hand on her upper back and leaned down to her face. When she looked up, the guy captured her lips in a long kiss. Suddenly feeling a little sick, it just got worse when her hand went up his neck and to the back of the man's head. Zack jerked the chair out and plopped noisily at the table, disrupting their public display._

" _Hi Zack," Cloud's reddened lips smiled at him as she recounted, "So you struck out huh?"_

_All Zack could do was smirk at her. He knew that it was just a matter of time that she would find someone, but it hurt seeing it. When the guy pulled out a chair and sat on the other side of Cloud, he was directly across the table from the livid SOLDIER._

" _Zack, Kunsel this is Jacob, he's the one I was telling you about," Cloud beamed and when his dark brown hair began to ruffle with the movement of her little fingers pulling him in for another kiss. Sure he knew about the guy, but to actually see it, that was a whole new problem. Zack thought that if his eyes rolled any harder, they would fall out and roll across the floor and out the door._

" _Geez, get a room would ya," Kunsel chuckled as he pushed his chair back and stood, "I'm going to go get my food. Zack are you coming?"_

_Tearing his eyes from the make out session in front of him, he glanced up at Kunsel and sadly said, "Yeah, I'm coming."_

_When they returned to the table, Cloud and Jacob had ceased their foreplay and were talking about something that she thought was funny. 'I make her laugh all the time.' Dropping his tray down, he sat and tried not to look up at her. However, he caught sights of the other man and did his best glare and battle hardened face._

_Kunsel broke the sudden silence with a question, "So Jacob, what department do you work in?"_

" _Oh, yeah. Please call me Harding, all my friends do. I hate my first name," He looked lovingly at Cloud and smiled at her, "Unless Cloud says it." Leaning in for another kiss, Zack coughed and cleared his throat loud enough to break the spell. Harding finished, "I work in the labs with Professor Hojo. I'm a licensed physician's assistant."_

_Swallowing his bite of food, Kunsel inquired, "So how did you two meet? I'm afraid Cloud hasn't told us."_

_Breaking eye contact with Cloud, Harding turned to Kunsel and Zack, "Well, Cloud here, had gotten hurt during hand to hand combat training. I was the one who took care of her and wrapped her ankle."_

_With a goofy grin, Cloud's hand roamed up Harding's shoulder, up to his neck, "Now, because of him, I'm all better." She yet again pulled him down to another kiss._

_Just before their lips could touch, Zack loudly asked, "Isn't that against protocol? I mean you're her doctor,_ Jacob _, which is against ethics, am I right?" Zack emphasized his point with a fork drop into his mashed potatoes. They both froze and Cloud glared at him. It was the look that told him that he better shut his mouth, but in his anger, he kept talking. As if he wasn't a big enough ass right then, he added something that he regretted saying immediately, "That is unless you're having her repay you in sexual favors."_

_Kunsel choked on a mouth full of water._

_Cloud's beautiful eyes changed into a storm of hurt. Extra moisture gathered at the bottom of her lids and threatened to fall down her cheeks. Harding stood up and leaned across the table, "Listen you ass, I'm not like that and I suggest you apologize to her!"_

' _Freakin fantastic,' talking and acting like the jealous dick head that he was right then, just drove her farther away. Instead of her running to him, she was now being held and comforted by the other man._

_Reaching out to touch her arm, she recoiled and said softly, "Of all the people I know, you are the last person I thought would say something like that."_

_Watching her leave was the hardest thing to see, but it got worse, Harding followed her._

" _Zack, what the hell was that?"_

_Picking at his potatoes, he lost his appetite and pushed his tray away, "I don't know. I just… I couldn't…"_

_A hard punch to his arm, Kunsel's frustrated tone echoed in his ears, "Zack, I know you like her, so do something about it."_

" _I've tried, but she told me that she doesn't want me like that," Zack rubbed at his rising bruise on his arm, as he fought tears of frustration._

_Kunsel stood and grabbed his tray, "Then you can do one of two things. You can either let her be happy with someone else, or you can fight for her." As he walked off, Zack looked at the exit and back at the three empty seats. Rising from the table in a rush, he ran out the door; needing to catch up to her, he had a few things he needed to talk to her about._


	3. Just Like Old Times…Sort Of

"I want to go back to the time when my biggest fears were under my bed and scraping my knees hurt the most…" –Unknown

  
To You I Give My Heart

  
Chapter 3

  
~Just Like Old Times, Sort Of~

  
"Zack"

After falling asleep, pleasant dreams evaporated his harsh memories. He loved the way she said his name, her soft voice, her lips curling into a smile and the light in her eyes setting his soul on fire.

"Zack"

Not ready to leave this dream yet, he always dreamt about her. The feel of her hair against his skin when he used to hug her, it sent warmth throughout his body. Not minding the thought that he was going to have to take care of a little problem in the bathroom later, he let his dream Cloud touch him. Her soft delicate fingers gently wrapping themselves around the back of his neck, her soft lips crushing against his as a passionate-

"Zack!"

Turning over, his eyes adjusted to the light, he could swear that he saw Cloud standing there. She was right there next to him, this dream was getting better and better. He turned his charm on and gave it his best effort until he noticed that he was still in the new cell he had fallen asleep in.

"Cloud!" Jumping out of the bed, he grabbed her into a hug, squeezing her, probably too hard. The sting in his eyes signaled his tears of happiness, "Oh my Gaia, I have missed you so much!" Much to his relief, she returned the hug and sobs shook her shoulders underneath his arms. Burying her face into his shoulder, she squeezed just as hard, taking in the feel of another's touch. His cheek fit perfectly against the side of her head and he let his eyes close. Blond hair tickled his nose and he allowed one of his hands to gently stroke the back of her head.

For several minutes, they stayed that way, holding each other, taking in as much of the other as they could, never breaking the hug.

"Zack?"

"Yeah Chocobo?"

"Why are you naked?"

Snapping his eyes open and holding her tighter, he remembered his shower and not wanting to put his clothes back on, 'Oh, shit…' The feel of her hands on the bare skin of his back sent him an alarm at his reactions.

"I uh," Moving his hips back a little, he relieved the pressure between her stomach and his hips, "I took a shower but didn't have any clean clothes. Sorry." Feeling his face redden, he buried his nose in her hair, but did not release her from his arms.

"Well, I understand that. I'm going to close my eyes, you can get back under- Wait! Did you say shower?!" Pulling back gently, her effort thwarted by his embarrassment as he pulled her back to his chest.

"Yeah, shower with hot water!"

When she tried to move back again, he held on to her, tighter, "Zack, I know what you said about not wanting to let me go, but this is getting ridiculous."

"I know, but like you said, I'm naked," Zack's face blushed brighter.

"Okay then, well I would love a shower and you want to not be naked. On three, I'll go to the bathroom; you get back under the covers."

"Okay, One…two…three…" In a flash, Zack bounced back under the covers as Cloud ran for the door with her eyes closed.

"Oww!" Zack burst out laughing when she rebounded from the wall, "Stop laughing at me!"

Through throes of laughter, he asked, "Why are you running with your eyes closed?" Perhaps she was as embarrassed as he was about his lack of clothing, "I'm under the covers. You can open your eyes now," She turned toward him and that twinkle in her eyes yet again melted his heart.

Pointing her finger at him, she scolded, "Shut up! Now, while I'm in there, no peeking."

Zack put on his best sexy face and winked, "I'm not promising anything."

Rolling her eyes, she closed the door and he listened as she felt the hot water and her moan of relaxation didn't help his problem one bit. Smiling, he pictured her beautiful face. Kunsel was right; he did have it bad for her, "Why can't she feel the same for me?" The water turned off and he rearranged himself under the covers.  
Glancing at the door as she opened it, her snow-white skin glistened with water droplets. The towel wrapped her body, tucked in at the top in the front of her chest. Her long hair dripped slowly as she made her way to the other bed making a trail of her small footprints.

Unable to help himself, he followed the drips up the backs of her legs, over the towel that hid the rest of her. Her petite shoulders tensed with the movement of her head when she pulled her hair to one side. Muscles on her small arms and thighs sculpted from the workouts during her training and he wished that those arms and legs were around him.

The sound of her snapping her fingers got his attention, "Zack… you're zoning out again," She giggled as she got under the covers of her bed.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

Adjusting the covers over herself, she quipped, "You know, you should stick to your strengths and thinking isn't one of them," The cutest smirk covered her face that he almost lost himself again.

"Ha Ha, you think you're so damn funny don't ya?"

With a smile that could light up a darkened room, her tone was just like when they were still in garrison, "I don't think. I know."

After a few moments of looking each other over from across the room, Zack was happy that she appeared unhurt, physically. It appeared that she was making sure that he was unharmed as well, which warmed his heart. He knew that she cared for him, but just not in the way he did. Finally deciding that enough was enough for a while, he simply stated, "I got to go to the bathroom," Zack stared intently at her.

Raising her eyebrows, she smirked, "So… What do you want me to do about it?"

"Well, either turn around and/or give me the towel to cover up with," She reached down under the covers and wiggled a little, a small grunt and then produced the towel and threw it at him.

Without a word, the blond turned to face the wall while he got up and closed the bathroom door behind him. He thought about another shower, a cold one. He had a lot of showers to catch up on anyway.

After showering again, he wrapped up in the damp towel and immediately upon opening the door, she questioned him, "Another shower?"

Rubbing the back of his head, he momentarily looked in the eyes of the one across from him, "I miss showers. It has been three years you know," A smile at the thought of an actual shower, it was something that he took for granted. Never again, he would enjoy his showers as much as possible from now on.

Lying on her side, she looked up at him and her face changed, darker and scared, she hadn't had a fair shot in life. All the things she told him about, her mother being a single mother, her father not being around and the other kids hating her. Then on top of all that, Sephiroth killing everyone and burning the town to the ground. Now, imprisoned against her will and the subject of a mad man's little science experiments. A total of all the hurt played across her features, scaring him, "Cloud? Are you alright?"

Sitting on the side of her bed, she sat up, holding the blanket up to cover her chest, "Zack… I'm so scared…" A torrent of tears streamed forward. Grabbing the back of her neck, he pulled her to his chest, holding her, just as he had wanted. He couldn't help it, the thoughts of everything that she had gone through. It was a living nightmare, and that was just what he had witnessed. The things that Hojo did to her while he was in the cell, he could only imagine the terror she felt.

The only thing he could do to help now was to be her unchanging friend, her anchor to reality. The one she knew and trusted. Now that they were able to touch more than just their fingertips, he was actually getting to hold her. It was everything that they had talked about on those lonely days and nights stuck in their cells. Thinking about everything that had happened, he hugged her tighter wanting to wash it all away.

Adding even more to her already full plate, it was just two weeks before they had found themselves in the larger cell together that there was the issue of her former boyfriend…

_One morning after they had eaten their breakfast, a heavy darkness fell over him and he slightly slurred, "Dammit, Cloud. I think they drugged me…" It was either luck or a form of unluckiness that it didn't knock him completely out, just weakened him severely. Right in the middle of his cell floor was where he became the pile of fleshy jelly._  
 _First they came and got Cloud and paraded her in front of him as he was behind his cell bars. Even if there were no bars, there was nothing he could do except hold the floor down with his lax body weight._

_Once they had her in the lab, they came to get him. The times so far that they were taken to the labs, the pain for him had been bad. For her, however, starting out as non-mako enhanced, it was an excruciating and terrifying ordeal as Hojo's dosages of mako were double and sometimes triple the SOLDIER dose._

_This time, it all changed. Different tables were in the place of the old ones and were not like anything that they were restrained to before. As he was brought in, Cloud's arms were already being strapped to one of the two identical looking exam tables. The empty table that was about two feet away from her was where they were dragging him to. Hearing grunts from the guys picking him up made him laugh and slur out, "Am I too much fer 'ya?" He tried to laugh out his anxiety as they strapped down his arms, legs and hips._

_As usual, no one said anything to them, but he heard Hojo's shrill and unnerving voice, "Are you sure?"_

_"Yes sir, she has ended her cycle."_

_Zack immediately attempted to turn his head to look at Cloud and her teary eyes met his, "Zack…"_

_"Well then let's get started. She's more than healthy, but I want to make sure she is right for my newest project," Hojo stepped to a sink and while he was busy washing his hands, a lab assistant readied a side table._

_"Clouu, jesss look at me, 'kay," Even though his speech was badly slurred now and his eye lids a little heavy, Zack hoped that he sounded more convincing than he felt. It was difficult to keep his eyes open and he had to fight it, he wanted to be there for her._

_Another assistant walked up and proceeded to try to remove her shorts even through her screams and kicks of protest, until something caught her eye, "Jacob?!"_

_He must have closed his eyes, because when he moved his eyes to where she was looking, sure enough, there stood her boyfriend, "Jay'cob, git us ouut of 'ere!" Suddenly it got a little easier for him to fight the sleepiness, but his muscles still thought differently._

_Harding completely ignored both of them and released the restraints on her legs to continue undressing her. Another assistant was breaking the table down and bringing up some stirrups from under the table. Cloud's blaring and panicked screams didn't seem to affect him._

_Still slurring his words, but not as bad as before, Zack verbally attacked the man next to Cloud, "Jay'cob, yoo son of a bii'tch!" The former SOLDIER yanked at his restraints as much as his weakened muscles could._

_A panicked, flailing kick of her legs and feet caught the assistant on his chin. Another assistant snuck up on her other side and injected her upper arm with something. Within just a few minutes, it had her weak and vulnerable. Her body lay quietly, no more kicking or screaming, her head lolled to the side and she was barely able to focus on Zack._

_Keeping his eyes on her face so that he wouldn't agitate her already fragile state, he tried to remove himself from the room and what they were doing to her. The movement of her upper body back and forth on the table signaled that they were finishing undressing her and positioning her within the stirrups. When her eyes closed and tears squeezed out, a fragile whimper of distress lifted her chest in a sob that shook her ribcage._

_"Ho'jo! Jay'cob! Yoo're sum really sick bass'ards, yoo can rot in hell fer-" When the gag slipped over his mouth, it didn't stop him from screaming his hatred of them._  
 _As soon as he heard Hojo scooting forward on the little stool with wheels, he shut his eyes and silently wept for her._

_When they finished with her exam and taking samples, they made their way over to him. Curiosity at the newer clamor of activity, he glimpsed Harding as he slowly, almost lovingly put her shorts back on her, Zack yelled at him through his gag and if he wasn't mistaken, it looked as though Jacob had regret shifting behind those dark brown eyes._

_Both of them had ceased being human to the Professor, "Well, let's see how healthy and virile you are, if you are worthy of my newest project as well," Hojo didn't say it to him, more like at him as another assistant removed the leg restraints and his clothing and placed his weakened legs in a similar position that Cloud's had been during her exam. Thankfully Cloud had turned her head away just before his clothes were fully removed._

_Turning to one of the three assistants, Hojo asked impatiently, "Where's the rest of the instruments for the male specimen's exam?" Two of the assistants jumped to action and gathered the materials that were missing._

_When Hojo started his examination, it started as the standard prostate exam. Then it turned into the humiliation of making sure that he was fully functional and exactly to what extent. Just when he thought it couldn't get worse, Hojo forcefully stimulated him into full arousal. The gag helped muffle the moans of disgust and maddened screams of fury. They loosened the straps from his hips a little to allow some of the involuntary movements and then they pulled out some strange apparatus._

_When they fit the device over him, Hojo began to time him and his reactions. From behind his gag, he screamed his rage and embarrassment and fought it as long as he could, "Now, the more you fight it, the longer it will take to get your sample," Hojo's words had him fuming._

_Finally making himself relax so he could just get it over with, he closed his eyes and sobbed silently with tears of shame and anger, as they pooled into the curvature of his ears._

_"Get his slides ready for evaluation," Hearing Hojo's screechy voice, he couldn't help but want to vomit._

_Hesitantly looking at Cloud, she still faced away from him and he could see her chest move with the tremors of her weeping._


	4. Sometimes Things Just Happen

"What you cannot enforce, do not command." –Sophocles

To You I Give My Heart

Chapter 4

~Sometimes Things Just Happen~

His brain under his black hair churned with possibilities. What was Hojo up to? The Professor was very good about keeping things to himself and revealing just enough to panic the calmest person.

Day in and day out, Hojo would send for them, their injections and the usual round of blood draws, vitals and questions. It was one of the few times that the Professor talked to them as if they mattered. Lying quietly on the tables, he tried to listen to the exchanges; perhaps they could discover the reason for it all.

"Professor, the tests are negative for the female specimen."

"This is intolerable! It has been almost two months and I must have results, the entire program depends on it," Hojo typed away on his computer for a while, until he stared at the monitor for what seemed like hours. A frustrated groan was soon followed with a slamming fist, "Prepare the new injections, one for the female and two to the male."

"Yes sir," The three assistants, Harding included, rushed around gathering syringes and two different vials.

Holding a syringe as her former beau approached, his eyes told a story, Zack just didn't know if he wanted to know it. Harding quietly leaned down to her ear, "Cloud… I'm so sorry. I never wanted this."

Lying there, both of them drugged to keep them calm during the process, Cloud found the strength to turn away from him, closing her eyes.

She may have not been able to talk to him for varying reasons, but Zack had more than enough to say to him, albeit weakly, "Ja'cob, you shlimy bass'ard, git away from her!"

One assistant pulled her shorts partly down one of her hips and then lifted it up off the table while Harding injected the substance. Filling another syringe from the second vial, they repeated the process with him.

Looking up from his computer, Hojo informed the assistants, "The new injections are to be added to their daily routine."

Almost in unison, they all responded, "Yes sir."

Every day for over two weeks, they received their new injections along with the mako and Jenova cells. It wasn't too long after the first few new injections that Zack began to feel different. It was gradual but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was affecting his ability to keep control of himself. For a while, doing squats helped, but it just seemed to get worse as the days went by.

Cloud lay in her bed, sweating and kicking her blanket off, "Geez is it hot in here to you Zack?"

Arms crossed, a pout of anger on his lips, he felt as though he would burst. Taking every ounce of his being, he remained as calm as he could, "No." The wince in her eyes told him that the harshness that he tried to hide had in fact surfaced. Her large cobalt eyes full of innocent questions puzzled over him, studying him, he felt agitation bubble in his chest, "What?!"

A gentle rise in the volume of her feathery voice spoke volumes to him, "Zack? What is with you lately?"

For some reason, he automatically went to a defensive stance in his mind. Why was she questioning him? Didn't she think about their situation at all? Starting out in a mocking and sarcastic tone, "What do you mean?" With an impatient huff, he added, "I think that it is pretty obvious," He raised his arms and as his hands circled the cell, he yelled, "We are in here, when we should be out there!"

In a hurt tone she pleaded, "Please don't yell at me."

Furrowing his eyebrows, he glanced at her as he began to pace back and forth, "Sorry." The tightness in his chest, he thought he would explode, he wanted to explode. It was just under the surface of his personality, rippling in the undercurrent, itchy, needing to get out of that cell, trapped in a box.

"Zack, why don't you sit down, we can talk," Cloud patted the bed beside her as she sat up.

Unwillingly, he allowed his anger to seep out, just a little at a time, just to relieve some of the pressure. However, not knowing where it came from, a voice, deep and gravelly, accosted her, "That's all you do isn't it?"

"…What?"

Seemingly not in control anymore, the beast had been let loose, the walls that held it all in began to crack and the built up emotions flooded him, "Talk, talk, talk. You walk around me, with the way you smell and move and expect me not to be hostile."

"Zack, what are you talking about? You're not making any sense."

Not liking where this beast was taking him, he was no longer able to hold anything back. Anger, frustration, depression, embarrassment, the degrading tests, loss of everything he once held dear guided his actions now and he just quit fighting it, "If that's what you want to think, but it makes perfect sense to anyone with half a brain," Zack could feel the burning glow of mako in his eyes, he stepped to her bedside quickly, startling her, "Talk and taunt me, teasing me and that is all you do. You hate me! You never wanted me, so why do you continue to flaunt yourself in front of me!" There was just no use fighting it anymore, he just hoped that he didn't cause irreparable damage to their friendship.

When she stood up, fury suddenly burned in her eyes, the glow lit her up, bright and unrelenting. With a growling scream, she slapped him as hard as she could. His face turned to the side from the force, when he turned back to face her, a slow laugh and an almost sinister smile surprised her. Not shocked for very long, she let loose another feminine growl and pushed him back and swung a hefty punch. Catching her wrist, he held tight, she tried flailing with her other hand and he caught that one too. Mockingly he asked, "Now what are you going to do?"

Dropping the eerie smile, his temper faded slightly getting a little calmer, but still unable to stop the new feelings of desire that took over. Her curious eyes searched him, wondering what happened, she was as confused as he was. Dropping his eyes to her lips, he wondered if they were as soft as he had fantasized that they were. Wetting his lips with his tongue slowly, he pulled her by her wrists toward him.

Feeling the little pants of anticipation on his lips, she exhaled in a soft whisper, "Zack."

Keeping a hold on her wrists, he reached around and held her hands behind her back, "Shhh." Slowly he closed the short distance between the waiting need that he kept hidden around her.

Gently touching his lips to hers, he inhaled at the feeling of ecstasy that washed over him. Slowly, his kiss became more demanding, her battle for control began to wane and she relaxed into his arms.

Releasing her hands, his hands hungrily grabbed at her and pulled her closer to his body. A flooding emotion ran him over, it hit him like a Shinra transport truck, lust, he had to have her right then and he couldn't take no for an answer.

Lacing her fingers in his hair, her pull entangled him. Breaking the kiss momentarily, he lifted his shirt off and tossed it to the floor as she hastily helped him with her clothing as he tossed it as well, modesty be damned.

Scrambling forward, the wall stopped them when her back hit it and anxiously she wrapped herself around his waist. Without breaking the kiss, Zack moved to the bed. At the feel of her soft, bare skin, his hands caressed her thigh up the curving hip to her chest. Kissing and biting down her neck to her collar-bone, her moans and the way she held his head to her small, but perfect breasts told him he had permission. Once he had removed the rest of his clothes, he lifted one of her legs over his hip, leaned up and captured her lips with his.

When he thrust into her in one quick and harsh movement, and the pressure broke, his ravenous kiss muffled her pain filled scream. Stopping for a moment, looking at the tears as they formed in her beautiful eyes, he could see the painful passion in them. The pounding in his chest told him that he was finally with her, the same one that he had wanted for years, and now he had her, in his arms, right where she belonged.

Instinct and an inhuman urge sent him into a lust driven panic, he had to finish claiming her as his before she stopped him or someone tried to take her away.

Blissful tranquility, an infinite amount of time that he wanted for the rest of his life was exactly where he wanted to be. When her muscles tightened around him, his shortness of breath and her moans of fearful desire, he was finally awarded liberation of his burden.

Closing his eyes and collapsing halfway on her and partly on the bed, he worked at catching his breath. The sound of her panted breathing, the feel of her heart under his hand beating hard in her chest, he took a deep breath.

Hearing his name in a breathless whisper, his eye lids burst open in sudden alarm. The frightened blue glow met his gaze and more tears met her wet cheeks as they spilled over and hit the pillow.

Hurriedly sitting up, Zack's conscious spoke for him, "Oh, Gaia! I… I'm sorry! I don't know… what just happened…"

Rolling away from him without saying another word, she rose and took up her clothes and quickly ran to the bathroom, "Cloud!" All that he got in return was the sound of the bathroom door sliding closed.

A realization hit him when he saw a fair amount of blood. Whispering to himself, "Oh, no… no, no, not like this…" Grabbing his clothes, he quickly dressed and gathered the soiled sheets and put them next to the door. Zack was sure that Cloud and Harding had been together, but obviously they hadn't. Silently he thanked Gaia that none of the guards or assistants took advantage of the beautiful blond.

What the hell had happened to him? Why had he ceased being human and to all appearances, turned into an animal? He had hurt his friend. Sinking in his heart, a gut wrenching pinch of betrayal from the only person left that she had trusted anymore.

Walking to the wall next to the bathroom door, he slid down to the floor and nervously raked his hands through his hair. Listening to the water run in the shower was all he could do right then. The real stab to his heart was when he heard what sounded like sobs. If anything could have made it better, heal her wounds, soothe her heart, he would gladly throw himself on any sword. It was bad enough that Hojo and his minions mistreated her, now the one who was claiming to be her best friend had ripped a hole in their friendship.

Hearing the door slide open, he jumped to his feet and wanted to grab her into a hug, but he was afraid to. He didn't know what to do or what to say. The sting of tears only made the picture of her face blurry, he said the only thing that he could right then, "Cloud… I am so sorry. I know that doesn't undo anything, but… I-I'm sorry."

She seemed frozen in place. The only thing that let him know that she was alive was the sound of her breathing. Opening her mouth just a bit, she looked as if she wanted to say something, but she stopped herself.

"Cloud…Please say something."

Trepidation led her words, "I… that was my first… time."

At her verbal confirmation, he just couldn't look at her, he had taken something special from her, "I know that now… I am so sorry. It shouldn't have been like that. It should've been with someone you love, not with-"

"It was…" Her interruption drew his eyes to meet hers. Confusion and sadness marked her pale face. The darkened circles under her eyes told of a scared girl who just wanted and needed love, to be free. So after everything, hidden behind those sapphire pools of Gaia's exquisite artistry, had been feelings for him. Whether they were old feelings, or ones that had developed over the years in the lab, it didn't matter to him.

Before he could say anything, he had her wrapped in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. Gently laying his cheek in her hair, she stayed longer than he ever thought was possible. His heart bound out of his chest and it too wrapped her in its warmth, keeping her as close as possible.

They hadn't seen Hojo for two whole months. In the third month, however, when they were taken for their daily injections, to Zack's horror, the Professor was back and was in a good mood. Usually when he was in a good mood, it meant bad things for his specimens. Zack hoped that now that he and Cloud were together, he wouldn't take her away from him again.

Harding had changed as well. Zack could only guess that his darkened soul had finally caught up with his guilt.

Addressing the three assistants, Hojo inquired, "So is it proceeding as I planned?"

Harding lowered his head and quietly stated, "Yes sir."

"This is fantastic news! Get all of their blood work done and run all the necessary tests," Hojo went over to his computer and Harding winced. As Hojo worked the computer, an odd giggle came from the mad scientist, Harding almost dropped the tubes that held Cloud's blood. Without taking his eyes from the screen, he happily squirmed around in his chair, "Excellent!"


	5. Rage, Love and Everything Else

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible." –Arthur C. Clark

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 5

~Rage, Love and Everything Else~

Zack sat in the cell, waiting for Cloud, but when the door opened, it wasn't who he expected or wanted. Instead they took him out and unceremoniously shoved into the familiar sight of his old cell.

"What is happening? Where is Cloud?!" Not surprisingly they said nothing. Grabbing a hold of the bars in front of him he shook them and screamed as loud as he could, "Cloud!" Silence was all he got in return.

Fifteen injections, or otherwise known as thirty days later since the Professor had decreased his injections, he still hadn't seen Cloud, not even in the labs. Harding was no help, as usual all three assistants and Hojo were tight-lipped. At least they were consistent.

From his spot on his cot, his gaze went to the spot he used to sit, right next to where the bars met the wall. Going there, he reached through the bars, hoping and wishing to feel her soft fingers wrap around his, but all he felt was the cold air. Whispering her name, he couldn't remember how many times he sat there, holding on to her. Closing his eyes, the thought of her, his soul mate, he knew it was true, she was his and he was hers, forever. Soft tears fell, staining his face as her image graced his memories.

_Several days after their first time together, Zack sat on his bed with his arms crossed. Watching her from across the room, a small one-sided smile graced his lips, "You know, if you're embarrassed, don't be."_

_Cloud's cheeks flushed red and she cast her eyes down, hiding from his gaze. In a false sounding strength, she swallowed audibly and asked, "What makes you think that I'm embarrassed?"_

_With a full smile, he uncrossed his arms, "It could be the way you look away every time I catch you looking at me," He got up and slowly walked toward her, "It could be the way you blush when you catch me looking at you," Getting down on his knees in front of her, he took her chin gently with his fingers, "Or it could be that you want to do it again, but you don't want to be the one to say anything first." His smile was full of erotic thoughts and the mako flowed to his eyes as they twinkled brightly at thoughts of her._

_Rolling her eyes, she stuttered, "W-whatever, I don't care what you think…"_

_He slipped his body between her knees and rested his hips on the side of the bed, "It's okay, I want to be with you again too." Leaning in toward her, he softly pulled her toward his lips. Zack let his lips brush against hers as he spoke, "This time though, I want to make it the way it's supposed to be," Moving his face toward her ear, he nibbled on her ear lobe, "All about you," Sucking her ear lobe into his heated mouth, he released it and lightly blew on it. She inhaled and held it, closing her eyes when tiny goose bumps erupted all down the side of her neck. A breathy moan passed through her lips. Silently, he grinned to himself._

_Moving down her neck, he nipped and kissed at her taught skin, "I promise to make it much better," Getting closer to her collar-bone, she finally tilted her head back and to the side and allowed better access, "It will feel much," Kissing back up her neck, "Much," Caressing her chin with his lips and breath, "Much better."_

_The way she acted disinterested made him smile with renewed determination. Ghosting his hands on her knees, he lovingly moved his hands up her thighs to her hips. Catching her eyes with his deep focus, he noticed the pulsing glow of her excitement in her mako eyes, "Do you trust me Cloud?"_

_Clearing her throat, she leaned her back against the wall and crossed her arms, she shifted her attention to the floor by the door. A flimsy sounding noise in the affirmative made him internally grin. Raising his eyebrows in mock disinterest, "Okay, you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to," Slowly she dropped her arms and he took her hands and put them around the back of his neck. Maneuvering his hands up her sides, he leaned over her and kissed her gently and lovingly._

_Nimbly sliding his fingers under the front of her shirt, he lifted it to show her toned stomach and lowered himself to kiss her belly button. Getting a hard fought for giggle; he looked up at her through his eyebrows and allowed his eyes to show her everything that she meant to him, had always meant to him._

_Hooking his fingers into the back of the waist band of her shorts and underwear, he waited and chuckled when she sighed in pretend indifference. Out of curiosity, she lifted her rear so he could fully remove them and once her shorts were completely off, she unconsciously covered herself._

_Starting at her ankle, he kissed slowly up to her knee, while subtlety massaging her calf muscles up to her thigh. When his lips reached the middle of her thigh, he looked up at her anxious and scared face. Getting a hold of her hands that covered her feminine physique, he pulled them to her sides, "Everything about you is beautiful. You don't have to hide who you are with me." Rewarded with a shy smile, he asked again in a sensual and quiet voice, "Do you trust me?"_

_Finally she spoke in a lily soft voice, the words floated lightly to his ears, "Always."_

_Without another word, he grabbed the backs of her knees and slowly pulled her to the edge of the bed. When she sat up in alarm, he straightened his back up and kissed her and tenderly, gently conveying to her, "Its okay."_

_Hesitantly she lay back as he indicated and his fingers traced down her throat to her chest, while he kissed her inner thigh. A whimpering moan replaced her silence. Softly his fingers continued their trek down her abdomen until his lips and his fingers met in the middle._

_This time, he made sure that her climax was a genuine one and not an automatic bodily response._

_As she came down from her high, her eyes were no longer confused or embarrassed. All of those negative feelings were replaced with love and yearning for him. Sitting up, she grabbed his face and kissed him hungrily, wanting more of him, and he was willing to give her as much as she wanted, forever…_

_Falling asleep together, their naked bodies flush against each other; Zack thought as though he was in heaven with her right next to him._

_Waking up before she did, she had ended up lying on her side. With the feel of her breath on the front of his neck, her arms curled in front of her and her legs intertwined with his, he smiled, contented. Taking one of her hands, he interlaced his fingers with hers and gently kissed her forehead. Watching her sleep and dream, he never wanted to be away from her ever again._

A break in his heart swelled until the dam broke and he let himself cry out. He craved her, needed her touch and the way she slept in his arms. The tender noises she made when they made love, her smile that went all the way to her eyes when she laughed, it was as if she was a dangerous drug and he had become addicted to everything about her.

It was too much and he exploded. Taking the cot, he flipped it and broke the small bars that held up the wafer thin mattress. Raising his face to the ceiling, a most feral and primal scream escaped and he let it roll out of him, piercing the ears of anyone who might be listening. The feeling of the emptiness that she should fill consumed him and he crumpled to the floor in a heap of emotional turmoil.

Crying out her name, not in passion as it should be, but in frightened anguish, that's when a hand touched his shoulder.

Snapping his head, he saw the last person he thought would visit him alone. Zack clenched his teeth and the noticeable tick of his jaw momentarily made Harding flinch, "Jacob, what the hell do you want, you weasel?"

Without moving from the floor, Zack wrapped his fingers around a long piece of one of the smaller bars from the broken cot. Harding stepped back a few steps and before he could get to the exit, Zack had him pinned against the bars. The angry Soldier's mouth was mere inches from the side of the smaller man's face. The sharp end of the steel rod barely perforated his skin right above his jugular. A calm and quiet tone was what Harding got, calm and murderous, "Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you right here you piece of shit."

"Z-Zack I don't blame you, I would want to kill me too. Just hear me out first, okay."

Zack bared his teeth and the fire that burned in his mako eyes lit up the side of Harding's face. Pushing his face closer to the assistant's cheek, Zack couldn't speak without his jaw tightening. In his rage, a small amount of spittle splattered Jacob's warm skin, "Why should I? It isn't like you gave Cloud a chance before you ripped her dignity down to _nothing_ ," The rod dug a little deeper, a small trickle of blood dripped down his neck.

The brown-haired assistant's eyes welled up, but to Zack it meant nothing, "Please, let me help you. I've read what Hojo has planned for both of you and my life means nothing if I allow him to go forward with this insanity."

Without moving away from the trapped man, Zack asked, "Where is Cloud?" To punctuate his insistence, the metal dug in a little more.

"I'll show you."

Zack was incredulous; he studied him, using his skills as former SOLDIER to decipher his body language. Everything in him said not to trust him, after all, he had proven himself loyal to Hojo on more than one occasion. However, his training said something completely different. The way he stood, arms down, non-combatant, a hurt swimming in his brown eyes were all telling him to follow Jacob.

Reluctantly releasing his quarry, they silently made their way down the hall. During the overnight hours, it was quiet and still. Harding said nothing during the walk to a different part of the labs that Zack hadn't ever seen.

"Harding, where are you taking me?"

Stopping and holding up his hand, he put his finger to his lips and silently signaled him to be quiet. He peeked around the corner and then back around and stood straight next to Zack. Harding mouthed, "Stay here."

Zack watched after him as he rounded the turn in the hallway, glimpsing the sight on the other side of the corner, he saw Harding entering a code in the panel next to the door. A guard lay out on the floor, a syringe rolled away from the unconscious man and toward the wall. With a beep and a little dot that flashed green, the door opened.

Harding gave him the signal and with the grace of a raging bull, Zack tore into the room looking for the woman who had stolen his heart.

Upon entering, the sight of a tank full of green tinged water and then the long blond hair floating around her nude body caught his eye. Before he could reign in his anger, he snatched Jacob and threw him across the floor, his back ramming into the base of one of the tables.

The lab assistant cried out in pain and whined, "Zack, please wait. I'm trying to help you."

Not knowing where the terrifying displays of his temper were coming from, he took a deep breath and stared down at the man across from him, "I'm going to give you thirty seconds and you better have her out of there or I will tear you limb from limb."

Holding his hands up in surrender, he moved to the panels and his fingers feverishly pushed button after button. The water began to drain, taking her to the bottom of the tank. Zack reached the tank before Harding could hit the switch for the door and the former SOLDIER ripped the door from of the front of the tank. Taking her limp body and pulling her from the tank, he sank to the floor with her in his arms. Unconsciously, he rocked back and forth, lowly whining in disgust at her condition. Quickly looking her over for injuries without moving her from his lap, he continued stroking her wet hair.

"Jacob, what has Hojo done?"

"I'm not really sure."

Uncertainty didn't bode well for his mood. Here he sat with the woman that he had loved pretty much from the time that they had become friends as she lay limply. The way she slept, calm and serene, she dreamt of something as her eyes darted around under her eyelids. Her velvet skin was clad in the mako infused water, and all he could think was how beautiful she was, "When will she wake up?"

"I don't know, but ever since he increased her Jenova cell and mako injections, she's been like this. Sometimes, she is fine, and other times she screams like she's terrified of something," Harding gathered up a few medical supplies that they may need, "There are some things I need to tell you. First off, the injections that you were given were hormones, a testosterone mixture to be more specific," He paused and removed her IV, "That is why you have been feeling hostile, angry and increased sexual desire." Harding, stood, cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, "The reasons for the injections were to get you two to, as Hojo put it, mate."

Zack shot him a look, he swore that if his mind would allow his muscles to let go of her, he would have killed Harding and hunt down Hojo right then. He asked rhetorically, "How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I think that was what he was up to?"

"Second of all, I have destroyed all the videos."

Draping a sheet around her, he asked absently with a tweak of anger mixed in, "What videos?"

Harding turned the reddest that Zack thought a human could be without actually being on fire, "The videos of you and Cloud," He cleared his throat again, "Hojo also wanted to see what two mako enhanced people were capable of, so... its you two engaging in coital activities" Adding fuel to the fire, Harding had crossed a dangerous line, "Zack before you go-"

Picking up the now covered and unconscious woman, Zack's shoulders tensed and he let every word ooze with the violence he wished to inflict right then, "I don't want to hear anything else from you. If you so much as say one more word, not only will I tear you apart, but I will then leave you out in the open for the wild animals to eat you alive." Harding bit his lips shut and motioned for him to follow out of the labs and up into the mansion.


	6. Good Men, All in Good Time

"Try not to become a man of success, but a man of value." –Albert Einstein

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 6

~Good Men, All in Good Time~

The ex-SOLDIER shoved clothes and a small amount of supplies into a bag that he took. Zack took a pair of sweats and a T-shirt that he got from Jacob and put them on Cloud. Apparently Harding had grabbed several of her shirts and shorts and already had them in the bag. Glimpsing her face, she slept peacefully; seemingly unaware of what was occurring around her. He could remember the first time he ever saw her. Standing in the lobby of the main tower, she was a radiant beauty among the sterile environment of the Shinra Empire.

Following Cloud's ex, he followed Harding out the side door of the mansion closest to the woods. It was also closest to the employee parking lot.

As Zack got Cloud comfortable in the small two door car, Harding nudged the keys into the taller man's hand. Zack gently laid his sword that Jacob had gotten out of the locked storage room in the backseat.

The begging in Harding's eyes said to Zack that he wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it. Over the time they were here, Harding had only showed up during the very last few months. However, he was still a part of the pain that they both had endured, so Zack had a few things to say to him.

"Jacob," There was resentment at the taste of his name in his mouth that rose like the bitter bite of vinegar. Zack had to think about how he wanted to say this, did he want to spare the lab assistant's feelings, or did he want to tell Harding the truth?

He chose the latter, "I hate you. I hate you for what you stand for. I hate you for being a part of that crazy bastard's freak show, but most of all I hate you for what you did to Cloud," Zack exhaled and redirected his anger to the animal that claimed that he was a scientist and said in a calm way, "However, thank you for helping us."

The fidgeting that Harding displayed said he was still terrified of the threat from earlier. Shutting the trunk of the car quietly, "I can tell that you want to say something, so make it quick."

Relaxing his shoulders a tiny amount, he looked up from the ground into Zack's angry and waiting eyes, "I am glad that she has you to take care of her now," Harding sighed, then continued, "I was in love with her at one time, hell I'm still in love with her, but when she disappeared and they claimed that all of you were dead, I mourned her," He shifted his weight.

Gritting his teeth, Zack held his anger, "Get to the point Harding."

Flinching from his tone, Harding continued, "When I came here and she was here… with you… All I can say is that she is a lovely and beautiful spirit and she deserves the way you treat her," Harding paused and then added, "I could tell in the videos that she's in love with you," His breath hitched and he quickly retreated a couple of steps.

Trying to forget that their private moments together were made public, he regained his moral compass, "What are you going to say to explain our escape?" Figuring that he had scared the assistant enough, after all, he was helping them so he changed the subject in the discussion.

"Oh I don't know, just that I was asleep, it is the middle of the night after all," Sticking his hands in his pockets to warm them, the lab assistant raised his eyebrows, "You have a good five hours before they know that you're gone, so get going." When Zack turned to get in the car, Harding grabbed his arm, "Here, I almost forgot. I saved this up for a new car, but I want you to have it. This is all I can offer. Now hurry and get her out of here."

Taking the dark grey bank bag, he stood there and stared at the shorter man, completely unsure of what he should do. Should he hug him, shake his hand or perhaps punch him in the face. Not waiting around for anymore awkwardness, Zack got in the car and started it up, "Thanks Jacob," As Zack drove off, he could see him start to wave at them and run a few steps as he yelled something that sounded like 'wait'. Choosing to ignore him, he continued to drive. Now he just had to figure out where to go to keep his sleeping dream-girl safe.

Driving just out of sight of the mansion, aqua colored eyes widened, "I don't believe this," Zack stopped the car and peered out the windshield in utter disbelief, "I know for a fact the Seph burned this town to the ground." Zack got out and rounded the car and studied the town as it set, full and unscathed.

"Well Chocobo, it looks as if Shinra is back to its old tricks. We better get out of here quick," Jumping back into the car; he drove off and out of the small, quaint town of Nibelheim, headed for parts unknown.

Getting away from Nibelheim was the main priority, the farther the better. The night seemed to drag on as he drove farther away from the nightmare that they had endured together. Now they were free, or felt as though they were anyway.

"How about listening to a little travel music? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mind hearing a song or two," Flipping on the radio, the last of a song played, "Oh, man, I would have liked to hear that one." Missing any kind of music, he just tried to enjoy the rhythm of the tires on the road with the added bonus of tunes from the radio. Constantly dreaming of Cloud, to him, everything about her was a harmony just waiting for a chorus of words to flow with her.

As he listened to the next song, his eyes began to well up in a sorrow as he started to think. Perhaps he just needed to get out of his head, but that was damn near impossible.

_Watch my life pass me by in the rear view mirror. Pictures frozen in time are becoming clearer. I don't wanna waste another day, stuck in the shadows of my mistakes._

Looking at her now, thoughts of regret muffled his heart. She should have never had to make the choice. Whether he knowingly or unknowingly shoved Sephiroth and his madness on her slim shoulders was beyond debate. She was just a month away from testing for entry into the SOLDIER program when she got deployed with him to that mission. Sephiroth had burned down her hometown, killed her mother and her only childhood friend, Tifa, along with every other citizen that crossed the insane man's path. She had no one now. Now what kind of man was he? He was nothing; he couldn't even get them out of that hell hole without help.

_Cause I want you, and I feel you crawling underneath my skin. Like a hunger, like a burning to find a place I've never been. Now I'm broken, and I'm fading. I'm half the man I thought I would be, but you can have what's left of me._

All the mistakes he made, letting Cloud go to another when he should have just told her how he felt from the start. Instead, he let his pride get in the way and wouldn't even admit to himself his true feelings. The fact was, she completed him and he wanted her to know that.

_I've been dying inside little by little. Nowhere to go but going out of my mind in endless circles. Running myself until you gave me a reason for standing still._

All the other women he had gone out with, he had compared them to her. Secretly, he hated that she had seen him with others. With the comparison game, no one ever lived up to his expectations of what he had always wanted in her and her alone. Feeling awful that he had used those women and fantasized that they were Cloud, his heart sank a little.

_Falling faster, barely breathing, give me something to believe in. Tell me it's not all in my head. Take what's left of this man. Make me whole once again._

Her smile, her laugh and the way she looked away as she blushed was the woman he wanted back. She was perfection to him, everything about her. He had only lived _at_ life before, never lived it in the moment. An empty blackness, dark and scary to feel on a daily basis was what he had become. Now, just the thought of her, made him full, his chest swell with the pride that he would gladly give himself fully to her for all eternity.

Watching as the sun rose, he had been so into his own thoughts, he forgot to look around. The feel of the cool breeze through the rolled down windows and the new feel of the warmth of the sun were all things that he had taken for granted before. As the light got brighter, the green on the leaves and the smell of flowers in bloom signaled spring. It had always been his favorite time of year.

He remembered the way it would heat up in his home town and the smell of flowers and the sounds of the birds. It also meant that school would soon be letting out for the summer and he could run and play. Never really one for sitting still, his priorities were different then.

When he looked over at Cloud, she was being held up by the seat belt. Her chin sat loosely on her chest and her tiny hands lay limply by her thighs. A few wisps of her hair had fallen forward blocking part of his view of her face. A simple movement of his hand had her hair behind her ear, now there was nothing obstructing his view.

Just as before, she just looked as though she were sleeping. Her eyes jerked behind her eyelids as though a dream was coming true. Starting with a small whimper, she unleashed screams that shook the calm out of Zack in an instant. Flailing her arms, she hit Zack on the side of his head and shoulder. Swerving to the side of the road, she kicked hard enough to crack the floor board beneath her, "Cloud!"

Once the car was out of sight of the road, he grabbed a hold of her wrists and struggled to hold her from hurting herself, "Hojo just had to mako enhance you didn't he?" Zack asked her, not expecting an answer, but one came anyway. With one quick movement, her back arched and her head whipped back, smacking into the headrest, bending it backwards. With her elbow that was closest to the passenger door, she busted out the side window.

Trying to calm her, Zack took her by the sides of her head and willed his voice to her, "Cloud, please stop this." Slowly she calmed and went limp in his arms. So wanting to help her, he just held her while she sobbed in her slumber. Gently, he moved the stray strands of hair that covered her face after her nightmare.

When she finally quieted, she appeared to yet again be sleeping. On so many levels, the display that she had let out disturbed him. Having never seen anything of the like before, he fought tears at what she might be dreaming about that would cause such a reaction. Hoping that the frightening fit was a one-time thing, he remembered Harding saying something about her screaming sometimes, as if trapped in her nightmare. Shaking his foreboding feelings on the subject, he had to get moving soon.

By then, the sun was just above the horizon and illuminated a path to anywhere. It was just a matter of time that they would be looking for this car, so he was going to have to abandon it. That was fine because Harding obviously hadn't really thought ahead, the gas tank was now on empty.

"Well Chocobo, it looks like we will be walking for now. At least until we get new wheels," Heaving the bag from the trunk over his shoulder, fixing his sword on the magnetic harness, then picking her up in a bridal carry, he began his walk to the south toward Cosmo Canyon and hopefully on to Gongaga.


	7. So Many Lessons in One Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a wonderful time writing this chapter, especially the flashback! I pulled out all the stops and let my own smart ass part of my personality shine through. My friends like to call me the insult queen. I'm not bragging or anything... well yeah I am. So anyway, away we go...

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." –Harold R. McAlindon

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 7

~So Many Lessons in One Day~

Not long after noon, Zack decided to stop for some lunch, "Well, it's not exactly the best spot for a picnic, but it'll do." Finding a clear spot next to a tree, he propped Cloud against it, "Now let's look at what Harding packed for us." Pulling open the larger of the two bags, in one side of the divided inside, there was several protein bars, toaster pastries, cereal bars, beef jerky and some protein drinks.

With a roll of his eyes, he sarcastically noted, "I think he's a man after my heart Cloud." Seeing the bank bag, curiosity got the better of him, "I wonder how much is in here. There's only one way to find out." Upon opening it, a large amount of gil billowed out from its original neatly folded place, "Good Gaia! What kind of car was he trying to buy?"

Despite the surprise that Zack felt, he figured that they would be able to get by traveling for a while. Hopefully though, he would be able to set up somewhere first and maybe get a doctor to check Cloud over. Just then, a thought jutted out, how was he going to feed her? Could she even eat in the state that she was in?

Opening one of the cereal bars, he lifted her limp hand and wrapped her fingers around it, "Come on Cloud, wake up and eat." She gave him no response, no movement and no noise. With a defeated sigh, he took the bar out of her hand and broke a little piece off and parted her lips but she clenched her teeth together.

Fighting tears, he begged, "Cloud open your mouth, please." With her eyes still closed, he took her chin in his hand. With a gentle pull, he was able to get her teeth separated enough to slip the small amount on to her tongue. Still he got nothing, no flicker of life except for her steady breathing.

"Cloud, please baby," Taking a seat next to her, he made a place for her in his arms, "You need to eat something, you know, get your strength back." When he took his hand off of her shoulder, she slid down to his lap. Alarm filled his heart thinking that she had choked, "Cloud!"

When he turned her head to look at her face, she still kept her eyes closed. Hearing a soft noise from her throat, he noticed that she swallowed the piece of cereal bar, "Hey, let's try this again."

Repositioning her, he got in a more comfortable sitting spot. Laying her against his chest, he broke another piece off of the bar and slipped it into her mouth and within a few seconds, she swallowed slowly. She wasn't chewing the food, but if he broke off small enough pieces, she was able to handle that. Little by little, he got the entire bar down her and then he tried a little drink of the protein shake. Sitting her up a little more he poured just a little of the beverage between her lips.

It didn't work as easily as he had hoped, in fact she scared the shit out of him. At first, it looked like she was going to swallow it, but that was when it went to hell. When she coughed, she took in a breath, not only did she inhale some of the beverage, she sputtered out the remnants that she hadn't inhaled.

Flipping her over, he did his best to clear her airway and as soon as her breathing began to steady itself, he turned her back over and wrapped his arms around her. Burying his face in her upper chest and lower neck, her limp body rocked with his movements. A slim arm that was furthest from him flopped out and then down with a tiresome flutter.

"Oh Gaia, please don't do that again. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

Not wanting to try getting her to drink anything else right away, he ate a couple of protein bars and downed an energy drink, "We need to get a move on. Harding said that we had a few hours until they realized that we were gone and that was almost six hours ago."

Gathering up their things, he picked her up and she began to flail, "What's wrong?!" When the screaming started he almost dropped her, but got her to the ground before that could happen. She acted completely terrified, just like in the car. This time when she stopped screaming and her crying started, she opened her eyes.

"Cloud!" Not focusing on anything, she looked right through him and the look told him that there was something amiss. Looking closer at her eyes, there were flecks of green where before it was her normally dazzling blue, "What the hell is going on?!"

Once he got her calmed, he picked up where he left off, picked her up and began walking, "You know babe, that shit scares me when you do that." Searching his memories, he remembered an exchange between Hojo and his lackeys. He wondered if that was what was happening with her now, however, even with the seriousness of the situation, he couldn't help but smile at the memory.

_Strapped to their respective tables, Cloud and Zack watched Hojo interact with his assistants._

" _Listen up because I am only going to go through this once. For over a year I have worked on this project with these specimens, and I am on the verge of a break through. I need you to do your jobs, only you need to do them better," Hojo stepped to his computer monitor and turned it slightly so that all three men who were enraptured in his words could see it._

" _This is the current status read outs and we need them on the increase. You morons have it going in the opposite direction," Turning to his desk, he picked up a stack of papers that was at least six inches thick, "Each of you take some of these and go over them with a fine tooth comb and figure out exactly what it is that_ you _are doing wrong."_

" _Yes sir."_

" _For now though, Mr. Burton, I want you get these tests done and bring me the results. Mr. Wolfe, take these samples to the other lab and get them in the liquid nitrogen for preservation. Mr. Harper, you are to work on the Jenova cell injections to find the tipping point at which we can increase the overall blood levels combined with the mako."_

_Zack lay there, listening to every word and trying to get closer to the truth. As usual, they got treated as though they were the lab rats that the Professor pictured them as. Zack's only other form of entertainment that didn't include squats was antagonizing the greasy haired, beady eyed man, "Hojo! Hey are you gonna talk to me?"_

_The Professor typed away on his keyboard and ignored him. One thing that Hojo did well was ignore them both. However, Zack saw that as a challenge so he aimed to break his record that he had previously set by Angeal._

_Zack stared at Hojo and in a sing-song voice he made his presence known, "Yoo Hoo… Hello there!" Formulating every question, he asked them slowly so they could sink into the Professor's thoughts, thus disturbing his concentration, "What are you doing? Why are we here? When are you going to let us go? What was your mother thinking when she named you, cause Hojo is a weird name." A vein throbbed in the forehead of Zack's target audience so he continued._

" _Did you have friends when you were a kid? Where you even a kid, I mean were you born a baby or were you hatched? Do you ever wash your hair? When you do wash your hair, what do you use, because it isn't working very well," Another vein popped up on the other side of his forehead. An added bonus was when he shifted in his office chair._

_Zack grinned and winked at Cloud, "Do you look like your mother or the dark dragon that got her pregnant?" Harper hid his grin behind his hand and Burton lowered his head, Zack continued, "Are you always this uptight? If you are, maybe you should just get some lube and treat yourself on your next trip to the bathroom." Cloud attempted to stifle her laughter, but ended up snorting instead and Burton's shoulders revealed his restrained amusement._

" _Enough!" Slamming his hands on his desk he pointed to Harper, "Put a gag in its mouth now! I can't concentrate with that incessant gibberish. If I don't have the right combination of Jenova cells and mako, it could unbalance everything and cause a chain reaction and possibly cause coma like symptoms."_

_During Hojo's short tirade, Harper came over, holding the gag. Zack turned his head away from him as he asked, "Hojo! Hey man, what's up with the not talking to me? I mean what the hell?" Dodging again he had Harper basically chasing him while he was still strapped to the table, "Oh, come on! Don't be like that! I thought we could be friends. You know, my mom always told me that I had to be nice to the ones that were weird, friendless, evil-looking, liked to eat dirt and sniff glue." Cloud's unabashed laughter rang in his ears and if Zack wasn't mistaken, he heard muffled laughter from Burton and Harper as well._

_Rising from his chair, and in Hojo's haste to get up, it rolled across the room and hit Burton in the back of his knees, "Mr. Harper, I am going to need that information as soon as possible. I don't want my specimens in comas, but the male just might get surgery to remove those vocal chords." Hojo headed for the exit._

_Undaunted, Zack asked just before Harper got the gag placed right above his lips, "Leaving so soon? We were just getting to know each other!"_

Remembering what Hojo had said about the Jenova cells had him wondering. Had Cloud been purposefully overdosed with mako, but to what end? Since that conversation had happened before Harding got there, he wouldn't have been able ask about it, not that he remembered it until right then anyway.

Walking until it began to get dark, Zack found a small clearing with large boulders that created a smaller enclosed area between them. After feeding her until she quit swallowing, he noted that she had eaten five bars, "Hungry?" After he ate a little, only three bars, he rearranged so he could make a pallet to sleep on, "I guess I wasn't as hungry as I thought."

"You know, your pretty hair is getting tangled and yucky," With a smile, he propped her up against his knees and pulled out her hair brush that Harding had gotten from their shared cell, "You know Chocobo, I think this is the first time that I've brushed a girl's hair. I'm going to try and be gentle," Pulling the brush through a little at a time, he hit the first tangle and her head jerked with the motion, "Oh, sorry babe. I guess you have a few more tangles than I thought."

Gently getting her hair smoothed out he separated it into three parts, "I'm going to try braiding your hair. It won't win you any beauty contests, but hopefully I can get it to look passable."

All the times that he had been around her, eating, walking, working out and even getting together to watch a movie, he had always loved the way her hair looked. Sometimes she would have it braided and hanging over one shoulder, while other times, she let it hang loose. There were times that a breeze would catch it and small wisps would float around her, weightless.

Once he finished braiding it, he leaned back and looked over his work, "Well Cloud, I hate to tell you, but my momma didn't make no hairdresser." The wave of blond flowed down to her waist in a broken braid that had strands of hair sticking out in all different directions. He could see where he had skipped a part of a twist and then there was the holder that held the mess together. Somehow, he had gotten it twisted and it folded over on itself and bent the end of the braid where it stuck straight up.

"I guess it will work for now. At least it will keep you from getting such bad tangles," Lifting her to the pallet, he laid her down gently and covered her with a blanket, "I'll be right back, call of nature and all." Kissing her warm forehead sent a shiver through him. There was a part of him that wanted to just drop everything and curl up with her and die together and spend eternity with her in the life stream. However, his instinctual side told him to get his ass in gear and start finding the solution to their problem.

Stepping out from between the boulders, he glanced around and hefted his sword and began a perimeter check and in the process, relieving himself. This part of the journey would be the most difficult, having to leave her alone to deal with the necessary evils of being on the run.

Once satisfied that there was no immediate threat, he got back to their makeshift camp. In the same place that he had left her in, she dreamt of something as her breathing increased. When she began to cry, he slipped under the blanket, facing her and draped his arm over her. Pulling her to his chest he attempted to calm her, "Shh, its okay, don't cry." As he lifted his hand to her face, he caressed her cheek as he whispered soothingly to her, "We're going to find some place that will be just ours, away from Shinra, Hojo and everything else."

Looking down to the side of her face as it nestled in his neck and chest, he began to tear up as the words slowly crept from his heart, "Cloud, I want to tell you something," Laying a gentle kiss on her temple, he continued, "I know now, I've always known, I… I think… no, I know, I love you and… I want to have a family with you one day," Shifting so his cheek rested on the side of her forehead he sighed in contentment and closed his eyes, "I just wanted you to know."


	8. Delirious Stupidity

"Don't think outside the box. Instead think as if there was no box." -Unknown

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 8

~Delirious Stupidity~

Early the next morning Zack woke up to a gagging wet noise. Sometime during the early morning hours, Cloud had shifted to her back. Unable to clear her mouth on her own, she began to choke and was unable to breathe. In a rushing panic, Zack thrust his fingers in her mouth as he turned her to her side. Sweeping out as much out of her mouth as he could, he began to do CPR on her.

Speaking between each compression, he fought to save her, "Oh, man don't… you… dare… do… this… to me!"

Finally hearing a cough, he flipped her to her side again and she was finally expelled what got caught in her throat. So far, every morning she would wake him up puking. Cursing Hojo and his damned experiments, he hoped that one day, he would run into him on the street and then give him a bit of Zack's version of Soldier justice. Zack felt bad because he couldn't do anything to help her with the mako sickness.

Sitting back and looking at her from his rear, he worked at steadying his breathing. Fighting the urge to break down, he took his time. Closing his eyes he pictured them sitting together, smiling and laughing. Realizing that picture was just making things worse for him, he just cleared his mind. Seeing her in such a vulnerable state, he couldn't help but wonder what was happening to her. She had always been a fighter, full of fire and sass.

"Getting to Gongaga, my parents can help us," Thinking of his mom and dad, he knew that they were more than likely contacted about his 'untimely death' while on a mission. Since his and Cloud's capture, he had wanted to go to his hometown, but Shinra will surely have them under surveillance hoping that they would show up there. If he took Cloud there, they would most assuredly be taken again. Yet again, he was going to have to sit down and hash out another plan, "Damn it! Damn Shinra to hell!"

After trying unsuccessfully to feed Cloud, he quickly ate a little and got back on track. Since they left several weeks ago, he really hadn't covered as much ground as he would have liked. At least a few days ago, he came across a very tiny town that he was able to buy some more supplies. He didn't dare stay the night though, no matter how badly he wanted too. Getting started, he walked through the prairie land, tall grasses and an occasional large boulder and of course the ravenous monster population.

Luckily, with his sensitive mako hearing and sight, he was able to avoid many of the encounters. However, inevitably, he would have to quickly get the blond to the ground, slough off the bags and draw his sword. His ability to protect them once again got tested when he entered an area with taller grass.

Because he got snared in his own thoughts, he accidently came upon a valron. It looked like it was resting and despite that, the winged demon-looking creature instantly attacked. The purplish blue and red skin shimmered as it knocked him to the ground on his back. Cloud landed on top of him and with a tasty meal in its sights, the monster began grabbing at the unconscious woman.

Quickly wrapping his arm around her waist, he flipped over until she lay underneath him. A claw dug in to his back and with a growl, it wrapped one claw around his lower leg and yanked him up. Wanting to keep a hold of Cloud but not wanting her to get hurt any more than necessary, he swiftly he let go so she wouldn't be dragged along with him. Hanging upside down as the monster flew up into the air, one of the bags hung from his neck until he chucked it off.

Lifting himself so he could grab at the claws that dug in his leg, his blood lubricated so he could work his fingers under its claws. Getting a hold of one of the monsters finger like appendages, right above its claw, he yanked up and with a snap, he broke the bone.

With a loud shriek, it released his leg and dropped him from a higher altitude than he thought. Landing hard and knocking the breath from him he shook his head trying to get his bearings. Trying to shake his confusion from the drop, he looked around for his sword. With no more time to waste, the creature dove for him just as he rolled over so he could get at the buster sword. However, being out of practice and injured, he flopped back and dropped the weapon behind him.

Getting to his feet as quickly as he could, he cursed, "Damn!" Watching the valron start its charge, Zack mumbled under his breath, "This is going to hurt."

Preparing for the hit, he held his territory as the monster charged and knocked him to the ground again. Wrapping his arms around its torso, he latched his fingers together and squeezed as hard as he could. While in the hold, the wings flapped at his head and with its front claws, it clawed at his back as its ribs broke in succession from the tightening hold. Forcing his forehead to its chest so that its wings and front claws couldn't reach his face, mainly his eyes, Zack held on as they both rolled around. Locked together in a deadly hug, they both frantically fought for their lives.

Never had he felt so alive and feral during a fight or battle. With a wild beast in his arms, both battling for supremacy, the rush of testosterone and adrenaline kept his strength up. Man versus beast fighting for survival, he chanted in his head that he wasn't going to lose, he had way too much to fight for.

Fighting to move his legs away from its back claws, he almost lost his grip. Grunting loudly at the pain from his back, he thought that he could feel blood dripping from his back, but he couldn't be sure. He couldn't be surprised if he was bleeding, judging from the amount of pain. Quickly losing his thoughts about his back, the clawed feet began digging at his already bleeding leg. Unwilling to let go, he slowly constricted his arms around the ribs so that it suffocated into unconscious.

Rolling over so that it was no longer on top, he quickly ended the valron's life. Rushing back to Cloud, he found her lying right where he had left her, unharmed, but he had lost the smaller bag with the medical supplies.

Quickly wanting to find the bag before his adrenaline stopped flowing and he wasn't able to move as fast, he frantically searched.

Unfortunately, he began to feel the first signs of increasing pain shoot through him and the shaking of his hands signaled that he was losing his adrenaline boost. Buckling knees brought him down next to her.

Surveying his wounds, his left leg had deep punctures from the original attack. The tops of both his thighs had the worse scratches. It clawed him deeply enough that stitches were probably necessary, but that wasn't going to happen unless he found that bag. Knowing that his enhancements would help, it didn't mean that medical intervention wasn't needed sometimes. Feeling of what he could reach on his back, it felt as though it was in the same condition as his legs, "I've got to find that bag."

Stumbling to his feet, he took a deep breath, calming and centering his thoughts. With a renewed sense of calm, he did the math, looked from where Cloud lay and where he had ultimately killed the valron. As he worked his way back to the dead monster, he glanced around the path.

Pain wracked its own path of destruction in his body as he thought of Cloud. If he lost consciousness, she would be completely open to attack to any monster or animal looking for a meal that was already bested and ready for consumption.

A shiny object glistened in the bright sunshine, calling his attention to their small medical bag.

Feeling his heart beat getting slower, he knew he was just moments from passing out, it had happened before on a mission. Luckily, Angeal had been there and had gotten him to the medics before he lost consciousness. Right now though, he was on his own, except for Cloud and he was all she had for protection.

Feeling blackness creeping in and taking over his vision, his breathing slowed, but he had to fight it and get back to Cloud. Rolling over to his stomach, he weakly hooked the bag on his arm. Concentrating, he told himself, convinced himself that he wasn't hurt badly at all, "It's just a few scratches, nothing that a little of that awesome ointment and bandages can't fix."

Gripping at the soil and grass, he pulled himself to a small clearing and he found a large rock. Pulling himself up to standing next to the side of the rock, he took a few deep breaths, fighting off the drowsiness. Weighing him down, the pull to sleep was getting more difficult to ignore. It bit, clawed and called for him to just stop everything, "No I'm not… going to lose it now…"

Re-focusing on the warm jagged surface of the rock, his palm ran across it as he pushed up to standing straighter and got his bearings. Finding the direction that Cloud was in, he stumbled forward, shuffling his feet through the tall grass, holding the bag tightly to his chest. Luckily, he could see her and if she was closer than he originally thought, he worried just a bit less.

Like a weakened structure in a light breeze, he ended up on the ground, falling to his side. Looking at the spilled contents of the bag, he reached out and took some of the ointment. Knowing better, he should have put it on his wounds when he first found the bag. Now, he was mentally kicking himself for his stupidity. Chocking it up to delirium, his hands worked at pulling down his sweat pants to show some pretty nasty cuts. It looked a lot worse now that the material of his shredded pants weren't hiding them.

"Whaat I would-n't give fer ssome restore mate'ria or a poshion right a'bout now," Beginning to slur his speech, he chuckled to himself, thinking of what kind of sight he made at that moment. Pulling himself back from the scene to see it all in its entirety, he was lying in the grass, with his pants down around his knees and mere feet from an unconscious woman. If he wasn't bleeding so badly, he would have laughed it up, but he had more important things to concentrate on.

Getting the worst of it covered in the special mako ointment that field medics used on injured SOLDIERs, it sealed the wound so their quick healing or a potion could be administered. In the field during a mission, he was always trained to have a few materia in addition to the ointment and potions. He would worry about his back later. Popping a few of the pills that had a label with the words, "Mako Enhancement Booster" he lay the side of his head down and let the nice breeze caress his boxer covered backside.

Opening his eyes, he sat up in a rush. Gripping at his thighs, he noticed that the sun was much lower in the sky than it was when they were first attacked, "How long was I out?" Shaking his head, he jerked, "Cloud!" Shoving the things hastily back into the bag, he worked his way to his feet and pulled his ripped sweats back up. Able to stumble/walk better, he got back to Cloud half expecting an empty spot where he left her, but there she was, almost in the same position she was in before.

With a sigh, he flopped back to the ground, checking her for any wounds. Not finding any, except a few bug bites, he figured that they could make camp since it was getting too late to start-up again. Besides, he was still hurting pretty badly.

Seeing a couple of boulders that weren't too far away, he said, "Well it isn't a four star hotel or anything, but it will have to do." Carrying the two bags, his sword and Cloud was becoming heavier by the minute. Part way there, he dropped the bags at some smaller boulders and propped the blond up on the biggest of the rocks. The distance to the larger rocks was much farther than he felt he could go, so he stopped for the night.

Pulling out some food, he knew she was probably starving, because he was too, "Okay babe, which would you like, cereal bar or protein bar?" Watching her eyes move under her eyelids he sighed and sadly said, "Cereal bar it is."

Getting six bars down her, which she was becoming much faster in eating. Where as it did take her an hour to eat, now it was closer to a half hour. Feeling a little sorry for her that she didn't seem to chew the food, she still just swallowed the small bits whole. Getting her to drink some water, she relaxed in his arms and looked to just be asleep. After he ate, he pulled her to his chest and let the back of her head rest on his chest. With the medicine, his wounds would be tolerable by tomorrow, so getting some sleep and resting so that his body could heal was key, but Cloud had other plans.

Falling asleep sitting up with her still leaning on him, he was as comfortable as he figured he would get. He wasn't able to get to the cuts on his back, so lying in the dirt was not a pleasant idea. If he leaned back slowly, he was able to keep the pain to a minimum. At least with the boulders, he wouldn't get more pebbles and debris stuck in there. He just had to find somewhere he could take a dip to wash his wounds. Worrying about a bath could wait, sleep was taking him and he let it.

Waking up to flailing, Zack instinctively pulled her tighter to his chest. When she started screaming, he jolted and tried to get her quiet, not wanting any possible patrols to find them. Luckily, the screaming didn't last long, but she slipped down to the ground and began to sob heavily.

Brushing loose strands of hair out of her eyes, he tried to soothe her fears, "Shh, its okay. You're safe now." At the sound of his voice, she opened her eyes and looked around. His moment of excitement dashed away when he noticed that yet again, she didn't 'see' him, she looked right through him. However, her fists clutched at his shirt as she pulled them closer together. When she seemed satisfied at his proximity, her eyes closed again.


	9. Quality Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really excited about posting this chapter. Writing this one, I was so excited, however, I cried at the implications. I certainly hope I conveyed some of the emotion and you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think!

"There are glimpses of heaven to us in every act, or thought, or word that raises us above ourselves." –A. P. Stanley

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 9

~Quality Time~

Several days after the valron attacked and after walking for a few hours, to Zack's relief they finally came across a small slow-moving river. The dried blood on his back, shirt and pants had stiffened and it just felt all together yucky. One good thing, his wounds had healed, for the most part. They still were a little sensitive, but at least he wasn't bleeding anymore.

Dropping the bags, he set Cloud down next a tree and began his search for a safe place where they could bathe and make camp. Several feet down stream, there was a calm natural pool of fresh water underneath a small two foot waterfall.

Roaming around and checking the pristine area's perimeter, he stopped when he saw gentle blooms of different shades of pink flowers. Tilting his head, he took note that it was near the area surrounded by trees and natural barriers on two sides. A fallen tree, covered in dark green moss and small saplings were making their way up to fight for their rightful place as part of the canopy.

Getting Cloud and the bags back to the place he had scoped out, he set up camp next to the waterfall and the flowers. The sound of the flowing water was a more than welcome sound, "What do you think Cloud? Look around, its beautiful here," Lowering his voice to a defeated whisper, "I know you would love it." Waiting for a moment, he watched her dream and then her fingers twitched. Was it from the dream, or something else?

Digging in the bag for the extra clothes, he relaxed at the overall sight of the natural untouched beauty. Under the canopy of trees, the swaying branches caught in a cool breeze and set shadows over the ground and her face. Grass lined the area they sat in and birds sang their melodic songs from the branches above. With the sun up at its peak now, the heat that morning had worn him out. Carrying the bags, his sword and Cloud was beginning to chip away at his resolve and strength. Looking healthier than she did before they escaped, it gave him a bit of a challenge when she wouldn't walk.

Pausing his search, he looked over to her and sadly said, "Please open your eyes. Look at the trees, listen to the breeze rustle the leaves." Still not getting any kind of response, he returned his attention back to the bag. Feeling crushed, his love for her began to hurt him worse, he never, in his life, felt this way. It was something he had a problem understanding, sure he loved her more than anything, but there was something else. That one little thing was becoming bigger as the days, weeks and now months rolled on and that was sorrow.

Having her so close to him, he could touch her, smell her, feel her breaths, but she wasn't there. Mentally, Zack didn't know where she was, or even if she would ever return to her normal self. The ex-Soldier didn't want to accept or admit that his problem might boil down to the fact that he had her body in front of him, but not her heart. It would have been easier if she was either gone from his sight or one hundred percent there with him.

When he pulled out their extra shorts and shirts, a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo fell to the ground. Rolling down the dirt incline toward the shallow shore, a raised tree root stopped the shampoo from going into the water. Not trying to catch it at first, he couldn't take his eyes off of the bottle simply labeled 'Shinra Corp.' Scoffing at the fact that he was now using the very products that represented everything he hated. However, he had to hand it to Harding; he had thought that far enough ahead to include shampoo and soap.

With the bottle in his hands, he tossed it in the air and caught it, "Are you ready to get cleaned up?" Not receiving an answer, not that he was expecting one, he went ahead and removed his clothing, "I'm gonna go first, so just stay right here."

Laying her close to the pool, just a couple of feet away, he wanted to keep her close if she needed him for anything. Jumping in the ever tempting water, he screeched at the temperature, "It's a little cold, but on a hot day like today, it feels reeeally good!"

Standing chest deep in the clear water, he washed himself up quickly, reveling in the fantastic feel of cleanliness. Dipping down into the water, he finished with his hair and brushed it back out of his eyes. Wiping the water from his face, his hands felt rough, but his whole body felt renewed.

Floating on his back for a moment, he let his sore muscles relax with the feeling of weightlessness. Wondering what astronauts felt like, he heard that floating in water was the closest to it that you get down here on the ground.

Watching the sunshine break through temporarily, taking note of each leaf. Having done this many times before when he was a kid, he often ventured out to the forest with his friends. After a full day of playing, he and his friends would often lay in the shade with their hands behind their heads and daydream. Zack had always loved the way the sun outlined each leaf and the wind made them dance to its own whim. Pretending that the leaves were the ones that actually were radiating the light from within, he supposed that he wanted to feel that way. To be someone else's light was a notion he wanted to explore with Cloud.

Now, having experienced being at the will and whim of a crazy scientist, he just wanted his freedom to move his own way.

Wading over to her in the waist deep water, he undid the braid and washed her hair while she rested on the large flat rock. Feeling the long strands of hair in his hands, he ran his fingers through it, loosening the small tangles.

Once he finished with her hair and got her clothes off, he pulled her in, keeping her close to him. Staying in the waist deep water for now, he let her get used to the temperature of the water. Embracing her, the soft skin of her breasts and stomach ran a shiver of goose bumps through his body. The way her head hung back, it exposed her long slim neck to him. Reaching up, he gently caressed her cheek as he softly cooed, "I miss you." The blonde's arms limply floated out to her sides and he took her chin in his hand and leaned down. He wanted to let his lips touch hers, wanted her to wake up with a kiss, like in a fairytale.

Moving to the deeper water, he closed his eyes, he just held her to him, his lips just close enough to touch hers lightly and briefly. Pulling back just a bit, his breath lightly brushed her lips as he spoke, "I wish you were awake," Nudging her nose softly with his, he moved his face so that their cheeks touched, "I wonder if you can even hear me." Concentrating on her breaths as they tickled his earlobe, he pulled back and opened his eyes and noticed hers were open as well. Looking around at her surroundings, he held his breath and kept hope in his heart.

Remaining limp in one of his muscled arms, he asked hesitantly and wondered expectantly, "Cloud?" Stroking her hair slowly with his free hand, she leaned into his touch. Inhaling harshly, she held it and cut her eyes over in his direction, "Cloud? Can you see me? Can you hear me?!"

Still hanging, pliable and unmoving, only her head turned slightly to better see his face. The bright glow of mako deepened the blue of her eyes and she seemed to really see him. Quickly capturing her lips with his, he felt hers move with a subtle quiver. Closing his eyes again, he squeezed out the tears of painful relief in his eyes. Resting his forehead on hers, he felt something in his hair. His breaths increased with the beating of his heart and out of the corner of his eye, her fingers weakly gripped at his hair. Taking her wrist in his gentle grip, he pulled her soft hand down to his cheek as he gazed in her eyes, getting lost in the galaxy of the deepest blue glow of the hottest star.

Being here, in this moment, together like this, with her in his arms as her eyes focused on him, his body trembled from the intensity. For too long, he had gone without her touch and now, the look in her eyes touched his very soul. Never had he felt so vulnerable, as naked as he did right then. Within the span of just a few seconds, this woman had him stripped to the very bone from the emotion that she emitted in her fierce gaze.

Hearing a quiet breathy whisper, it sounded like she was trying to say his name. If his heart could actually explode, this would be the time, "Come on, talk to me. Please?" The thumping in his chest increased as his anticipation grew. He allowed the corners of his mouth to tip up in a tentative, but wishful smile.

Looking down to his mouth, she struggled to move her hand on her own and her small fingers ghosted across his lips. The sting of tears in his eyes made her move her eyes back up to his. When she furrowed her eyebrows and her tears gathered, her lips moved as if to say something, but again no sound escaped.

"Come on, talk to me, tell me to shut up or something," Zack waited, frozen, wanting her to finally be fully awake, but it just wasn't going to happen. Falling loosely back to the water, her hand splashed and her head jerked. Watching the muscles in her neck forcefully swallow, she opened her mouth again and then nothing. Slowly shutting her eyes, her jaw went rigid and she fell silent, back to her previous state.

Shaking her gently, he felt his chest tighten and the panic set in as he frantically tried waking her, "Please wake up, I need you." Sniffing back the painful tears he didn't know that he was shedding, he pulled her closer to his chest, "Cloud, please come back." Holding her firm against his body, he trembled in fear, would she ever fully wake up? His ability to speak, to move had temporarily ceased, his need to have her skin touching his, won out. Standing in the middle of a small piece of Gaia's wondrous paradise, he held her and wept.

Once he was able to think straight, he cleared his throat and dried his internal tears, "I'm never gonna give up on you. We're going to find someone who can help you," Promising himself he would think of this positively, he talked it out, "I know that you actually saw me." Wiping his face, he swallowed hard and doubled his effort to sound strong, but his voice still faltered, "That's a great start to you getting over the mako poisoning."

Thinking about something else, he cleared his throat again and simply changed his thinking back to her bath, "So, how does it feel to be clean after all this time on the run?"

Once it was time to get her out of the water, he laid her back on the smooth rocks that lined one small area close to camp. Getting out of the water, he pulled her over to the log and laid her head in the crook of his arm and shoulder. Lazily, he pulled his fingers through her hair, "You know, laying out here naked, it's kind of cool. Don't ya think? Well don't worry, we are all alone out here, so we can just air dry for a while."

Craning his neck, he looked to her face, "Too bad you aren't awake, this would be an awesome place for a little messing around," Wagging his eyebrows, he smiled, "How about this, once you wake up and get better, we can come back here and I can show you how much fun it is to make love outside; and by a waterfall to boot," Laying his head back, he closed his eyes and just relaxed at the feel of her breath across the wet skin of his chest.

Once they were dry, he began talking to fill the silence between them, "Well, relaxation time is over for now, gotta wash the dirty clothes, they outright stink." Finally working her clean clothes on her limp and uncooperative body, he spoke to her, "Why don't we stay here tonight, I like it, you know all nature-ry and everything."

Pulling her shorts up to her waist, he noticed that they were tighter than the other ones. Thinking it strange he took her dirty ones and fit them over her, and they were tight also, "I guess you gained more weight than I thought, but then again you have had a really good appetite," His eyes whipped back to her face and he quickly added, "Oh, I'm not saying that you're fat! So don't even think that."

Taking the dirty clothes after moving her to the mossy log, he went to do the laundry, "Well, you getting sick and throwing up every day, I figured you would have it balanced out. Well, mako poisoning can do that to a person, they teach that in the academy you know. That green mako shit that you're throwing up is some nasty stuff." Thinking back to the few times that he actually got sick so far while they were on the run, he also threw up the thick green liquid. Hojo hadn't overdosed him so the times he was sick were far fewer than hers.

Getting their filthy clothes clean was a more difficult task than he thought originally, the blood stains weren't coming out. He didn't think that they would, it had been several days and he didn't exactly have laundry soap, "Oh well, I guess it really doesn't matter, as long as I get it clean we can still use it as a wash cloth."

Spending the rest of the afternoon lounging in the shade and napping, he woke up and once again noticed the flowers. It had blooms as pink as her lips and the even more beautiful blush that would rise in her cheeks that he missed so much. Picking one of them, he smelled it as he twirled the stem between his thumb and fore finger, "What do you think? You like it?" Placing the bloom above her ear, he situated it so that it sat well in place.

Picking another, he slowly recalled a memory, "I remember once, it was about the time that Angeal left Soldier, I fell through a roof of a church down in the slums," Glancing at her, he finished, "Do you remember when that happened?" With a wave of his hand he continued, "Anyway, the girl that I almost fell on, she had flowers growing, right there in the middle of that old church. These flowers remind me of her." Picking a couple more, he wove the stems together as he talked, "She was a really nice girl. I think you two could be really good friends."

Straightening his back he blushed, "And before you start jumping to conclusions, we never went out," Pausing he sheepishly added, "Well that's not exactly true, we went on a couple of dates, but that's it," As he added more flowers to her hair and the new and improved braid, he went on, "Well… I should tell you, I did kiss her. But that's it! I swear!"

Once he got several flowers in her hair, he sat back and admired his work, "I tell ya, you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." With a sad but loving smile he touched her cheek.

After sun set, he got dinner out, "Well, what is it you're going to eat tonight? All we really have left is a shit load of toaster pastries and then some protein bars, both of which you hate." Getting her in place, he sighed as he took her jaw and opened it to put a small bit of the protein bar on her tongue. Expecting a flailing fit like before, surprisingly she swallowed it without a fuss, "Oh, so now you like the protein bars?"

Feeding her a total of five bars and half a bottle of water, laying her down, he finished off the last two protein bars for his dinner. Lying out on the soft grass, the blanket held their body warmth when the temperature dropped. Cuddling up to her back, "Well, I sure as hell feel better," Kissing her neck and ear, he noticed goose bumps pop up on her neck, all the way down her leg, "I enjoyed our talk, we should do it again very soon." Closing his eyes, he pictured the way she looked for that short amount of time in the water. It was a start to recovery and now, he had renewed confidence that she would be awake soon.

* * *


	10. Soldier Training

"The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it." -Plutarch

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 10

~Soldier Training~

A few days after they left the stream, Zack was making good progress through the fields. Seeing a grouping of trees about a mile ahead, he braced Cloud to get there faster before the sun set. The sooner he got there, the better and safer spot he could find.

The day before, he was able to get the blond to walk as long as he held her weight. Shuffling her feet, her gait was slow, but otherwise steady. The episode in the water didn't happen again. No matter how much he wanted it, the overdose of mako won out and kept her in a semi-conscious state. Every so often, she would open her eyes, and look around, but just looked right through everything, including him.

Every day he cursed Hojo and his complete and utter disregard for other human life. However, usually with mako poisoning, all the cases he had seen or heard of, Cloud seemed like she was doing better in some respects and worse in others. Although her appetite was good and she regained the weight she had lost, she still woke up in the mornings, sick and throwing up thick green goo and sometimes her dinner from the night before. Not to mention her nightmares and inability to move or communicate were detrimental.

While he was still in the academy, he had heard rumors about one guy that had accidentally gotten an overdose. They ended up having to tie him to the hospital bed, because of the waking nightmares that would cause him to hurt himself. The screaming, vomiting, weight loss and overall suffering of that guy almost made him change his mind about going forward with his training. But it was just rumors, so it couldn't have happened, or so he had thought back then.

Right now though, as he picked up speed, she also matched his speed for a while. Sloppy movements and tripping over her feet, she began to stop moving her feet and opted for him dragging her, "Cloud, are you done walking for the day?"

When they had stopped for just a short moment so he could adjust the bags, he heard something in the distance. Straining his ears, he made out what sounded like rotor blades on a helicopter and it was getting closer by the second. He still had quite a distance to cover before they made it to the trees, so a quick decision, he scooped the tired woman up and began running as fast as his mako would let him.

The thought of going back to the labs and Hojo, made him increase his run. Glancing over his shoulder, he could see the small speck of a black helicopter as it did a circular search pattern. He still had time before it got to close, but if the Turks on board were looking in his direction, he would be seen.

Just when he thought they saw him, he was able to duck behind a large tree. Waiting for when the helicopter finished its circle and it headed in the other direction and just before it was in the circle over their heads, he ran for more trees further in. Dropping the bags close to some young trees and bushes, he quickly pulled Cloud over close to another bush that was larger. Getting out the brown blanket, he covered them up and listened. Through the tree tops, he could catch a glimpse of the helicopter just before it continued on.

When it leaned over to the side slightly to execute a turn, in the setting sun light, Zack clearly saw a tuft of spiky red hair, "Reno." Internally cringing he muttered, "Had to be fucking Reno didn't it?" Of all the Turks that he ever met, the red-head was the one who Zack considered the real threat.

Reno was way smarter than he let on, in fact Zack wouldn't be surprised if he was on genius level. Not to say that the Turks recruited idiots, but the red-head put several of the other Turks to shame. Persistent, obstinate, and a complete and total jack-ass, but that was what made him a fantastic Turk.

After landing, and taking off again, Zack could only surmise that they had dropped off a few men. Just when the sounds of the rotors were leaving to the south-east, he heard the footsteps crinkle in the dry leaves. With very slow movement, Zack pulled the blanket over his head, leaving a small opening to see anyone approaching.

"I'm telling ya dude, she's really into me."

Scoffing, the second soldier said, "I hate to tell you this, but she is so way out of your league. You would have a better shot of getting an audience with the little princess of Wutai."

A deep voice interrupted, "Both of you two panty wastes need to get quiet. In case you've forgotten, we are hunting down some lab specimens. We don't know what they are capable of."

The first soldier asked, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. We gotta take 'em alive too."

"Yeah, so if you two don't shut your fuckin mouths, when we come across 'em, I'm gonna feed you to them as bait."

The second soldier groaned, "Geez Carpenter, chill out."

Booted feet were getting closer and sweat beaded on Zack's temples. Gripping his sword, he readied for attack when a fourth voice yelled, "Guys! We got something over here."

The ex-Soldier wanted to jump up and lay waste to them, but not knowing exactly how many there were and when they were to get to their rendezvous point. If they missed that, most likely they would send more in and then they could be taken in again. Keeping his cool, he loosened his grip as the sounds got further away. Knowing that they hadn't found the bags, as they fit perfectly under some vines that wrapped around the saplings.

Taking a chance, he stuck his head out to do a quick look and he froze at the sight. Through the thick brush, just on the other side of the tree line, a battalion of men, and several army vehicles came to a stop.

With his mouth agape, Zack muttered quietly, "…Oh, fuck me…" Beside him, Cloud began to stir and moaned out loud. Covering his head up again, he hoped that the brown blanket was cover enough under the dying bush and brown leaves. Laying his cheek on the blonde's cheek and in a soft cooing whisper, he tried to soothe her nightmare, "Shh, we need to be quiet. It's okay."

As if hearing him, she calmed and once again lay still. Murmurs from the many soldiers revealed nothing. He just wasn't able to discern any words or information over the noise of a crowd. They just happened to get here after dark, so the camouflage would hold out and hopefully the soldiers would be leaving in the morning. However, it wasn't a matter of if they began a search, it was when. Knowing military procedure, they would conduct an extensive search in the morning and if they were still under this blanket, they would most definitely be found in the light of day.

For several hours, they lay there as Zack waited and listened, not allowing himself to sleep. That was about the time that it got worse. They hadn't stopped but once around lunch time and he really had to pee. Rolling his eyes, he remembered a lesson that Angeal had taught him about when they got pinned down by the enemy and not giving away your position. Cloud had already gone, so he really didn't have much choice.

Now, as humiliating as it was, he still had to go. As gross as it felt against his skin, his bladder said different. Now all he had to worry about was the smell. With these guys just regular army, they were not trained as extensively as Soldiers were, so the likelihood of them finding them on smell alone was minimal. However, there was always one guy who was better than the rest. Even so, not finding them on smell, if they came close enough, they would most definitely be found. Thinking of smell, that could possibly work in their favor. He was counting on this working and that the good, loyal and respected soldiers weren't going to be searching in this area.

Zack began his preparations. He didn't have to wait long when the first small animals were attracted to them. Uncovering his head, he glimpsed a capparwire sniffing them out. Its greenish brown short leafy looking appendages moved slowly and its larger body swayed as it stepped ever closer. Had he been standing, the creature would easily come to his waist.

Slowly moving his hand up his side, when it came within his reach, he grabbed it. As quickly and quietly as he could, he snapped its neck. Pulling it soundlessly closer, he looked around to make sure no one saw or heard him.

The creature's body was as big around as his thigh and he turned it to its back and took a deep breath. Digging his nails into its soft belly, he tore the skin open revealing its organs and a reeking smell. Reaching his hand in to get a hand full of what its body had to offer. The warm blood covering the slimy and slightly warmer entrails combined with the smell was almost too much. Having to stop for a moment, he gagged and buried his face in his forearm. Trying to take shallow breaths, he mentally calmed his stomach.

Tossing what he had in his hand toward a tree several yards away, he did it again, only aiming for another tree. Doing that two more times, he finally tossed the rest of the body as far as he could and then wiped what he could off his hands on the ground below him.

A few hours later, the sun shined brightly in the clear sky. When the soldiers resumed their search, Zack was awake and watched as a small patrol of two soldiers got closer.

"Ah, geez, what the hell is that smell?"

Footsteps got closer until the owner of another set of feet said, "Ewe gross! Something got a hold of a capparwire. I'm not going over there."

The owner of the first set wisely said, "Me neither. Let's just tell 'em that we searched over there."

"Yeah, okay."

Watching as the boots walked away, Zack waited until there was nothing but silence before he raised his head. It took several hours, but he and Cloud were alone once again. Sitting up, he silently thanked Angeal for being so patient with him. However, he knew a large part of it was luck. Thanking Gaia, he began to move out from under the blanket.

Stretching, his aching muscles, they were stiff from being in pretty much the same position for almost twelve hours. Looking over at Cloud, she began to gag as she began her morning routine of gag, vomit, gag some more and then eat everything he put in her mouth.

Looking around, the trees got thicker the further in so there had to be a water source nearby. However, he had a vomiting blond he had to deal with first. With hands covered in dried blood and entrails, he hesitantly put his fingers in her mouth to sweep the green goo out of her mouth. After he got her settled, he grabbed the bag.

After getting her fed, they started walking again, "I know you might think that I'm crazy, but I think that I can smell some water. If we can find it, we can get cleaned up. I don't know if you can smell very well, but we smell like the number 14 train to the slums on a Saturday night."

Slinging the bags over his shoulder, they walked in silence. Starting to lose hope, they finally came across a small trickle of water that couldn't ever be confused for a stream. One good thing about it, it wasn't muddy, most of it had a bed of rock that the water had carved.

"Okay, well here we are. I'll get ya cleaned up and get our clothes washed. How does that sound?" Taking the rest of the morning, they bathed and got their clothes cleaned. Getting back to walking, Zack watched her from the corner of his eyes. Her head hung down and her feet shuffled lazily as she draped from his side.

Every since that day that she opened her eyes and actually saw him, she hadn't done anything. He was beginning to worry that in the only way she could, she was telling him goodbye days ago at the river. Shaking his head, he had to stop thinking that way, she was going to wake up and when she did, he would be right there next to her.

* * *


	11. Small World, Small People

"The swiftness of time is infinite, as is still more evident when we look back on the past." –Seneca

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 11

~Small World, Small People~

It had to have been a week later that they found themselves at a raging river. The steep bank, covered by tree roots that weaved down the sides to the water, had no safe way to get down. Following the river upstream, he kept his fingers crossed that there would be a way across that didn't involve the main road. The dense tree coverage, they welcomed because not only did it keep them out of sight, but the shade eased the heat, making bearable.

Walking for half a day, he came across a small house right next to an old, rickety bridge. Ducking down, he observed the house for any Shinra presence from a safe distance.

Once satisfied that there was no immediate danger, he formulated a plan. Finding a place beside a large tree stump and cut firewood stacked on the other side, Zack propped Cloud up in a space that was hidden from view of the house.

The small nature of the house and the lack of vehicle reminded him of his neighbor back in his hometown. The man was very anti-social, but for some reason, he liked Zack.

The man, Myles McCallough, was as old as his grandfather, but not as pleasant. However, he informed Zack and his parents that he was welcome to his house any time. Mr. McCallough had told Zack once that he reminded him of what he was like when he was younger.

Mr. McCallough was more than willing to let the younger Zack work around the house for a little extra cash. Small things, like painting the fence or walls, cutting the grass and cleaning out the rain gutters kept the young hyper boy busy and out of trouble, most of the time. The boy's parents were always more than willing to allow him to help the old man out. In fact his duties at his house and Mr. McCallough's house increased when he and Samantha Winters got caught behind the saw mill making out. At the time, Zack didn't know what the big deal was. Being a fourteen year old boy with raging hormones had gotten him in more trouble than he liked to admit. Of course most of those memories raised a smile to his face.

Over the years that he helped Mr. McCallough, sometimes he would come over and the man had drunk himself into a stupor. Not wanting to leave the poor guy alone to wallow in his sad past, Zack would keep him company. However, in staying one time, he finally found out why the man was always so brash and alone. 

It was the classic love story with the twist at the end that everyone saw coming, but didn't do anything about, until it was too late. Back when he was a young man, he had fallen in love with a girl from his village. Their courtship went on much to the dismay of the most popular boy in town and son of the mayor. At every chance, his rival tried to sabotage their inevitable union.

Once Myles and Bonnie were married for almost six months, they wanted to start a family. However, when the man who had wanted to marry Bonnie found out, he started a vicious rumor that she was already pregnant and Myles was not the father, he was. In that time, rumors like those went around and never died and for nearly four months it raged. It caused a small rift that soon grew out of control between the husband and wife. After a particularly terrible argument, Mr. McCallough left for work. With a day filled with tedious duties and constant taunts, he returned home and his beloved wife was dead by her own hand.

When the doctor examined her after her death, it was determined that she was not pregnant. At this news, Myles began narrowing down the possible people that could start a rumor like that, it only left him with one conclusion. The entire town backed the other man and refused to accept that the handsome Mayor's son would ever do anything like that. In fact, they blamed Bonnie for seducing him, and blamed Myles for not keeping his wife under control.

After that, he moved to Gongaga and never loved again. Some advice that he had given Zack, he never forgot. The old man told him that when he found the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, to hold on and never let go. 'You gotta keep watch and out of reach of people who would hurt her. Take care of her even at the expense of your own life.'

In a weird sort of way, he hoped that Mr. McCallough was the one that lived in the house. However, he highly doubted that he was even still alive because he was painstakingly trying to kill himself with the alcohol.

Back to the house in front of him, he figured the direct approach would be best. He took into account that he could easily be watched by the occupant from where he stood. Just lazily strolling up to the house, he knocked on the door. Hearing a grumble and footsteps, he braced for anything.

An elderly gentleman opened the door and stood there dumbfounded, "Where did you come from?"

"Uh, from up north, sir," The man stepped outside and peeked around the corner and then back at Zack. The strange behavior that he exhibited struck him as odd, but then again so was the man. The wild grey hair stood on end, except for one side, it lay flat against his head as if he had just woken up.

Rubbing his stubbly chin thoughtfully, he asked another question, "You aren't with that other group?"

A flush of heat tightened his chest, but he got out, "Um, no sir."

Pinching together his thick greyish white eyebrows, he peered up and scrupulously studied the taller man, "Are you it or is there anyone else?"

With a smile, Zack asked curiously, "What? Why do you ask that?"

Grumbling, the man stepped outside and looked around the house, "That Shinra scum. I don't want them anywhere near me, that's what!"

"Oh, well I don't want anything to do with them either. I just need to cross your…um…bridge, sir," Watching the man as he scanned the yard and surrounding areas, he began to get nervous that he would find Cloud and catch him in a lie.

Turning quickly, the old man studied Zack closer as he rubbed his chin, "You lying to me boy?"

Swallowing, Zack slapped a smile on his face, "Um, no sir."

"You got mako eyes. You some sort of druggie then?"

"No sir!" Zack was coming up with a bad case of nerves, "Well, there is one thing… I'm not alone."

Turning to go back inside his house, he grumbled, "Hmph! I knew it!"

Zack quickly began to explain, "Please, it's my girlfriend. She's hurt and sick and I need to get across the bridge to get her some help."

Stopping in his tracks he addressed Zack from over his shoulder, "Girlfriend? Where is she then?"

Holding his hands up, he motioned for the man to stay, "I sat her down over here."

Not staying in place, he followed Zack over to the wood pile, the man puzzled over the blond, "What's the matter with her?"

What would he say? He knew this man didn't like Shinra and if he knew that they did this, then what would the old man do? Perhaps if he explained their situation, he would take pity on them. However, he knew that if he did that, he could very well put this man's life in danger. If he could come up with a good story, maybe the man would allow them to cross his bridge. One thing was for sure, the public bridge was out of the question as it was on the major road that was most likely patrolled by Shinra's finest.

Then again, this man was weary of Shinra so he possibly could handle the truth.

So there it was, his decision made, he began, "It's a long story. Are you sure you want to hear it?" Without a word, the man eyed him, waiting impatiently for an explanation so Zack started, "Well, she isn't contagious if that's what you're concerned about."

The man's gray hair rolled around his head from the breeze as he calmly said, "I haven't got all day."

Rubbing the back of his head, Zack swallowed and started again, "Okay, sorry. We were traveling and I ran off the side of the road. She has been unconscious ever since she hit her head."

Straightening his spine, the man stared at Cloud, "Thought you said she was sick."

"Well yeah, she is, but when she hit her head, I think that may have made everything worse," Internally rolling his eyes, he cursed himself. Couldn't he come up with a better story? After all the times that he had to explain away the pranks that he and Kunsel pulled, to Angeal, Zack figured he would be better at making up a story. If the man believed that story, it would surprise the hell out of him.

Looking from Cloud to Zack, the old man studied him closely, "You know, those poor excuses for Turks left me their card that has their number on it. I could give them a call to help you out."

Not only did his heart rate speed up, but he suddenly felt like he was on a rollercoaster. The sinking of not only his heart but his stomach almost cost him his balance and he fought the urge to vomit. The fear of going back to the labs was something that he tried to keep under control. But now, the offer that the man suggested was not something that he was willing to let happen. Raising his hand to the hilt of his sword, his Soldier instinct took control of his actions. Zack would kill Cloud and himself before they got captured again and taken back to the labs.

A deep voice that he hadn't used since being on the battle field back before their imprisonment, he conveyed to the man his intentions, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The man's eyes widened and his mouth dropped as he backed away. Holding his hands up, he quickly begged, "Hey, don't do anything you might regret later."

Feeling the mako flood his system, his fight became a matter of life and death. Zack was beginning to get the feeling that this would be what the rest of their lives would be like. Fighting for their freedom on a daily basis. Backing the man up toward the house, the larger man growled, "I can't let you make that call, so I have no other choice."

"I don't want to call the Turks! I just wanted to know if you were the escapees that they asked me about," Cowering up against the outer wall to his house, he covered his face.

Seeing the fear surround the man, he couldn't bring himself to kill an old unarmed man. It just wasn't in his heart to kill this scared and defenseless asshole, at least for now, "You could have just asked," Placing his sword back on its magnetic cradle, he spoke in an apologetic whisper, "I'm sorry, we just can't go back there. I can't let her go back, they are slowly killing her, killing both of us."

Gazing up at Zack from between his fingers his eyes watered, "Why don't ya'll come in, get something to eat. I swear, I'm not going to call those pathetic excuses for humans."

Watching his body language, Zack believed him, at the moment. Cautiously, he moved back to Cloud to pick her up while keeping an eye on the man. Picking the woman up, she relaxed her head to his shoulder as the rest of her body limply lay in his arms, perfectly contoured to his body. Zack heard her whimper and he tried to comfort her, "Shhh, it's okay. I'm not letting anyone take you back to that horrible place."

Grabbing their bags, the man's demeanor changed from the original gruff person that originally opened the door, "Let me help you get your things inside."

"If you try anything, I _will_ kill you," Zack's glare accentuated when the mako made his eyes flash in a deep burn.

"There will be no need for that. My name is Conrad Stringer, but you can just call me Conrad."

With a weird feeling, he rushed to recall where he had heard that name before. When it hit him who the man actually was, he asked, "Did you used to know Myles McCallough?"

Without answering, Conrad just blanked out. His face fell and he stared out in to open space. Cloud had that look on many occasion and it didn't ever bode well for him because it meant that whatever Hojo was trying to do was working. Zack stepped to the side and in to his line of sight, startling the old man back to reality. Lowering his head, his shoulders sagged, "Yes, we grew up together. How do you know him?" Zack could see the man try to hide his sadness.

Narrowing his eyes, Zack's words unconsciously angry, "When I was younger, I used to spend time at his house, helping him with chores and things."

"We knew each other, but that was a lifetime ago. I was a different person then," Turning around, he started for the door to go inside, "Well, it looks like we both have things to talk about. For now though, come on in and rest."

True to his word, the man got them something to eat and while Zack fed Cloud, he told the brunette about his visitors a few days before, "Not long ago, a group of Turks came and asked me all kinds of questions. I suppose that it turns out it was all about you two." Sitting down with them, he began to eat his dinner, "So, you wanna tell me your story?" The man's oddly disarming personality let the younger man relax. Zack realized now what the man was doing before, although it was a stupid way of doing it. The man's way of testing someone, almost got him killed.

Starting from the beginning, Zack talked well into the night. He told the man how he met Cloud and just a little about the mission that turned out worse than anyone ever could have imagined. Unable to re-live all the memories from the lab, he gave a cliff's notes version of that part of the story, "So we were held captive since the mission. Now we've been on the run for about six weeks or so. I'm not real sure how long we've been out," Without realizing it, Zack began to get choked up; he could feel the tears burn at his eyes. Noticing that it seemed to only happen when he talked about Cloud and he knew why, "…Anyway, he overdosed her on the mako and this is how she has been since then."

"I suggest you go to Cosmo Canyon. I know someone there, he'll be able to help her, or find some way to help," Standing to clean off the table, "His name is Bugenhagen and he knows a lot. He helped me get through some really bad personal issues. I guess Myles told you?" Zack just nodded and Conrad continued, "I live here alone now," Looking over to Cloud, Conrad's face dropped and his sadness was palpable, "Don't ever give up on her and for Gaia's sake, don't let anyone like me get between you and her."

Kind of knowing the answer, he still asked, he wanted to hear it from his mouth, "So you're just living a life of a hermit out in the middle of nowhere?"

The old man nodded, "I suppose this is my way to make restitution. This isn't what Bugenhagen suggested, I didn't want to be around people anymore."

"You could always ask for forgiveness," Zack repositioned Cloud while holding her tightly.

"Yes, I guess I could do that, but I fear it would only makes things worse for him. At least out here in the middle of nowhere, I can't hurt anyone else," Conrad said nothing else about Myles or Bonnie, but very shortly after that, he excused himself and went on to bed.

The next morning, Conrad filled their food rations, giving them plenty of water and wished them luck. It was odd that he would run into the man who had single-handedly ruined one man's life. The former Soldier didn't know what to make of him accepting help from Conrad, but he didn't have a choice. Unfortunately, with their present circumstances, he had to take the help that was offered, but it didn't mean he had to like it.

* * *


	12. Are You Busy?

"We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding what we will not do." –Samuel Smiles

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 12

~ Are You Busy? ~

A little over a week after they left Conrad's, their trek brought them that much closer to their destination. They still had a long way and a hot, desolate expanse to cross, but until then, he stopped when he could to rest as much as he dared. Coming to another river that was not near as big as the first, Zack got lucky to find a shallow area to cross with the flow of water slow and lazy.

Enjoying the feel of the cool water, he took off his shoes and waded across the knee-high water barefoot, "You wanna try babe?" On the other side, he took off her boots as they sat on a partly submerged rock, "I don't think you'll mind getting your shorts wet, will you?" With a smile, he immersed her feet deeper when she reacted. Her toes twitched, almost like she was trying to wiggle them, "Oh, you like the cool water don't ya?"

Leaning her head on his chest, he couldn't see her face, but he wanted to believe that she was smiling. It wasn't too much to ask for, if only in his own mind. Leaning on his hands behind him, they lounged with her head comfortably and securely on his shoulder. The open sky was clear with small wisps of clouds that whipped around in varying shapes and sizes. Noticing two of the smaller ones, they almost looked like people and when they joined together to make a bigger one, he nudged Cloud, "Hey, what do you think? Maybe that's Gaia telling us that we belong together."

After a few more moments, he sighed, "Well I guess we need to get going. We can't camp here out in the open. Sooo… I think we'll try somewhere with more cover than nothing," Snorting out a laugh, he nudged her again and when he moved, that's when he saw her eyes were open.

Again, it was the same, the lost look that was all he got from her anymore. Intently, she looked at something, just nothing that he could see. Sweeping a few strands of hair from her face with gentle fingers, he kissed the soft sun-touched skin of her forehead, "Come on, we can't stay here, we got to find some other place."

Heading up-stream a bit, Zack found one last oasis before they got to desert-like land in the next day or two. Taking time to rest up and fill every bottle they had with water, he got them both bathed and cleaned their clothes. The next week or so would be difficult. Knowing next to nothing about this part of the world between here and Cosmo Canyon was not to their advantage. Optimistically he figured that if he walked fast enough, they could get there at least two days sooner, if nothing happened to slow them down.

After trying to get Cloud fed, Zack lay her down and just watched her sleep. Her beautiful eyes opened and she looked around but didn't focus on anything, then they closed again in slumber. It was a cycle that he figured out. Every night, around the same time, she would sleep, then first she would open her eyes for awhile and blankly stare. After she closed her eyes again, they would open again just a few minutes later. That was when her eyes moved around, looking at everything, but seeing nothing.

Zack had faith that deep down in her mind she was still there and fighting the good fight. With mako poisoning it was a gamble, obtaining proper and prompt medical care was essential.

Getting to the man who Conrad had told him to see, Bugenhagen, the thought of having her awake again got his heart jumping. He missed everything about her and not having that part of his heart was making his natural confidence waver and dent. That was something that he was known for and now, he was just part of a person anymore.

Although she opened her eyes more often during the day, it still dashed his hopes every time. Thinking that it was silly at first, he clung to the thought that she would see him again, just like the way she did at the first river that they had come to.

It was the end of her waking cycle so now she would sleep for the rest of the night, unless she had a nightmare. Moving several feet away, he sat on the other side of a tree, took a deep breath and looked up to the bright moon. In just a few days, it would be a full moon. Picking up a small stick, he drew pictures in the dirt, trying to get his mind off of the problems for a while. Just a moment, to collect his thoughts, he wanted to just sit and contemplate a possible solution. However, no matter how hard he tried, she was always on his mind.

Looking around the tree so he could see her, she lay still and peacefully resting. Moving back to the other side of the large tree, he sat back and leaned his head on the rough bark that made up the trunk. Groaning in frustration, he didn't want to do this, but he didn't _not_ want to either.

Closing his eyes, he thought back to that day in the river. Her eyes opened, she did see him and she tried to communicate with him. Pushing aside that she was unresponsive most of the time, he moaned at the thought of her wet skin on his. The way it felt so… right.

Unable to stand it anymore, he reached his hand down to the waistband of his shorts and lowered the confining material down his hips a bit. Pretending for a moment, he kept his eyes closed and imagined her awake and embracing him. _The cool water flowed around their heated bodies as she clawed at his back when he entered her. The tight hold of her legs around his waist and her firm thigh in his hand got a louder moan out of him. His other arm wrapped around her back as he moved within her and she rocked her hips in time with his. Together they created waves that lapped over the rocks on shore._

_Making eye contact with her, he would lose it every time she looked at him in her intensity. It was like she wrapped him in her world, just with her eyes. Everything that made her beautiful. Pure joy. It was what happiness would be if you could roll yourself up in it and snuggle in the cushy euphoria forever. Every time they were together, in that instant, her moment, when she looked at him, he melted in her arms..._

Sobbing broke him from his fantasy. Quickly tidying himself up, he went over when her hands clasp at her chest and stomach. With furrowed eyebrows, she grunted out a sob. When she stopped moving and inhaled harshly, she let loose a dynamic scream of what he thought might be fright. It caused him to wince at the volume, but then he noticed that she still clutched at her chest and stomach. Taking her wrists in his hands, he tried to get her to relax her strained arm muscles.

The crying fit didn't last much longer when she calmed and fell back into slumber. With a shy smile, he sat in a spot just a couple of feet away, "I guess I don't have to be embarrassed, huh? Hey, I hope you can't remember this so that you can laugh at me later. It's not like I do it all the time, but I'm still a guy you know," Situating himself back across from her and getting comfortable, he smiled as he blushed, "Since you couldn't help me, I needed to take things into my own hands… so to speak."

That was when he was reminded of something. Glancing over her small, frail and sleeping form, he couldn't help but smile…

" _Kunsel, I know it's late... but I... I just thought that maybe we could watch a movie… I'll bring beer," Rolling his eyes, he listened to Kunsel's rejection to his desperate suggestion, "No… no it's fine," Looking at the shelves in front of him, he raised his eyebrows and finished, "Uh... I got something to do now anyway. Go have fun with Evelyn tonight, and remember, I want details!"_

_Closing his phone, he glanced around to make sure no one was around, as he looked over the items holding his interest. Picking one up, he tried to peek through the plastic to see just a little of what was inside. With a sighing grunt, he put it back and picked up a different one. Damn it was hard to choose which one he wanted if he couldn't see what he was buying._

" _Don't you hate the plastic that covers those?"_

_Startling from the voice directly behind him, he juggled and caught the latest issue of 'Full Nude Busty Asian Beauties' that he still held. Swinging around, the red blush heated his face as he tried needlessly to hide the magazine behind his back, "Oh… yeah, that. Well my buddy sent me… Umm…"_

_With her hands clasped behind her, the deep ocean blue eyes smiled with her glistening lips, "You aren't fooling anyone."_

_Rubbing his neck nervously, he tossed the magazine back on the shelf. If it was possible, she had gotten prettier than she was two months ago. Her long silky blond hair was tied back to uniform regulation and her blue infantry uniform clung to her small curvy frame. The thought passed through his needy male brain, 'Screw that magazine, I got something far better in front of me.'_

_Clearing his throat, he tried to keep his voice from cracking from his nerves, "Oh, hey. I didn't see you there." A cringe worthy of the first place award for embarrassment, he thought to himself how stupid he sounded._

_The smile never leaving her radiant face, her voice was full of amusement, "I didn't think you did," Without wasting a beat she added with raised eyebrows, "Am I interrupting anything?"_

" _Okay, I get it. You caught me-"_

" _-With your pants down?"_

" _Oh ha ha, you think you're a funny girl don't ya?"_

_Turning to walk down the aisle, she said over her shoulder with a smile, "I don't think. I know."_

_His feet moved, forcing him to follow her, "So what happened to you? I thought you were going to call me."_

" _You're not used to girls turning you down are you?"_

_Watching her profile as she picked out a soda, he fumbled over his words, "I, well… No. I mean that- What makes you say that?"_

_Walking down the candy aisle, she shrugged her shoulders, "Just a hunch."_

_Zack's eyes widened at the small assortment of candy she horded in her arms, "What's all this for?"_

_Looking down at his empty hands, she moved her expectant eyes from his hands to his bewildered face and then sounded exasperated when she asked, "Well?" Jerking his hands up, she began to fill them with her collection of various types of sweets. Grabbing a few other things, she stacked them on the top of what Zack already held, "Just to snack on," Getting another small handful of chewy candy and adding to the still growing pile in his arms, her eyes twinkled with another devastatingly striking shy smile, "I've got a bit of a sweet tooth."_

_This girl was so different from so many other girls. Not that he was bragging, but he was a good looking guy and he never really had problems picking girls up before. There were times that he used his looks and charms to get things that were normally out of his reach._

_One particular time, he sweet talked the cantankerous older lady behind the reception desk into letting him into the General's office. Of course he was up to no good, but he had been dared to get into his desk and turn the drawer upside down and super glue the phone handset to the cradle. When the General opened his desk the next time, everything would fall out on the floor and his lap. Sure they were the oldest tricks in the book, but a dare was a dare. He could thank a fellow second class, and roommate, Dean, for those lame ideas._

_But now, this girl held some sort of power that he had never encountered before, "Well, since you didn't call me, so I guess you're talking to me now because you lost the paper with my number on it?"_

_A light blush washed across her features, "Well, no. I just saw the opportunity to embarrass you and couldn't pass it up."_

_Turning up his charm meter, he tried again, "So, are you busy? You want to go get something to eat and maybe a drink?"_

_Paying for her purchases, she looked up at him and appeared hesitant, "…Now?"_

_With an eager nod, Zack confirmed, "Yeah, I'm not busy now… So if you're not busy, and I'm not busy, maybe we can be_ not _busy together," With his signature suave smile, he thought 'Oh, that was a fantastic line! If she weren't right in front of me, I'd pat myself on the back.'_

_Searching his face, her deep piercing gaze studied him, "…Okay, I guess so."_

" _Great!" Reaching down, he took her bag and held the door open for her, "I know a great place. So Cloud, do you like to dance?"_

Deciding to get some rest, he went back over, lay down and just enjoyed the feel of her in his arms. Now, as they lay together under the stars, listening to the sounds of crickets chirping, he held her close. The small breaths from her quiet lips warmed his neck as he tried to sleep, knowing that he had a long way to go still. It wasn't going to be an easy journey across the barren lands to Cosmo Canyon, but it was one he had to make anyway. Getting as much sleep and overall rest was needed for sure as he planned on getting an early start tomorrow. Cloud wasn't getting any better, and he feared that if he didn't get there soon, it would be too late.


	13. Deliverance from Ruin

"One who fears failure limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again." –Henry Ford

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 13

~Deliverance from Ruin~

Time was of the essence; his blond angel needed medical care so making it there as quickly as he could was his next goal. Even if he had to walk all day and night, he would get her there.

Laid out before them was nothing but dry, desolate and barren land that stretched on. Very little to no cover would prove difficult if they needed to hide. Biting the bullet he walked along a secondary road and kept a watchful eye out for anyone associated with Shinra.

Experiments and mistreatment had chipped away at his humanity. Dipping his head down, he fought his sadness. The sadness of what he had at one time and took for granted, freedom. Now it was just a far off dream that he was having trouble seeing anymore. The further he walked, the further it seemed to get away from him. The total of one step forward and two steps backward scenario slapped him in the face.

Even though Cloud was looking far healthier than she did when they first escaped, she wasn't improving in any other area. Her nightmares were still frequent, and when her eyes were open, she still saw nothing. Not to mention, she was no longer eating very much, but one thing that concerned him was that she would still get sick in the mornings. Now, to add to his problems, she fought against walking at all, so not only was Zack breaking down physically but his soul as well. Watching the small amount of Cloud's progress stop and begin to deteriorate on a daily basis was wearing him down more than anything.

The heat kept him constantly thirsty and Cloud had stopped drinking much of anything. Wanting to force the water down her, he decided against it. He had tried that once before but she had thrown a fit and ended up hurting herself pretty badly. Instead, he opted to drink his share and part of hers. The quicker he got there, the quicker he could get Cloud fixed up.

The clear blue skies, the bright sunshine and dodging the occasional vulture, harpy or the dreaded trickplay contributed to his exhaustion. With his back and arm muscles shaking from prolonged exertion, he kept going despite his body's continuous protests. Stopping for only a couple of hours for the last few nights, he pushed his body farther than he thought was possible. Using his training and enhancements, he drove the mako until he thought he would drop.

On so many missions, he had fought in combat until he wanted to fall to the ground, but this was a new kind of feeling. It wasn't just exhaustion, it was beyond that. Looking ahead of him, he saw a few houses among the large boulders that dotted the landscape. The sweltering temperature from the ground made the sight of the buildings swirl as the steamy heat coiled up to the sky. Off in the near distance all around them, he heard a few monsters scuttle around, waiting for their opportunity to devour their walking meal.

Changing direction just a little, he moved toward the houses. Licking his lips, the dryness made him wince when there was very little moisture on his tongue. Adjusting Cloud in his arms, he tripped; he just wasn't able to get his feet back under him, so he fell. He knew what was happening to him and he had to get rehydrated soon, or he would fail not only himself but Cloud too. Failing Cloud was not an option to him anymore, she deserved a fighting chance, and he was going to give that to her regardless of what it cost him.

Shaking off his confusion and dizziness, he slowly got back up and continued. With the houses in his sights, he continued walking and quickened his pace as much as he could. Squinting, his eyes gathered dust that blew in them and burned, it made him want to rub them, but he consciously fought that urge. That was a quick way to scratch the surface of his eyeballs, and then he would be screwed until his mako healed him. Grunting, he adjusted Cloud in his arms again and lost his balance, again. This time, when he hit the ground, he fell on her and she let out a scream. He was sure it was a pained cry but then again it might not have been, possibly another nightmare, he just didn't know anymore.

Muddy was all he could describe his thoughts. Past, present and future melded together and confused him. As the heat from the sun beat down on him, he could feel his life slipping away a little at a time. When the wind would whip his hair, it caused him to get dizzy and he knew he was changing his direction by millimeters, but it was a change that he couldn't afford to let happen. On so many levels, he was ready to give up, to let the dry land take him to meet Gaia. However, there was one level that he saw more than others. When he looked down at the helpless woman he carried, she kept him going without having to say a word.

Rolling her out of his arms, he pushed up so that he was on his hands and knees. The bags shifted and fell from his back and smacked to the ground. With his head hanging, he breathed in and out feeling the dry air fill his lungs and burn as it carried the swirling and grating dust with it. Digging deep for the steel hard strength he had to believe he had, he raised his head to see how much farther the buildings were and it looked just as far as it did hours ago.

Hitting his fist on the hardened dirt, he cursed hoarsely, "Son of a bitch!" Realizing his stupidity, he studied the 'buildings' again, he'd walked at least half a day out of his way and now had to make up for it.

Smoothing Cloud's dirty hair away from her face, he noticed the dust had gathered on the wetness on her cheeks from when she had cried. Around her temples and on her forehead the sweat had collected the dry ruddy colored grit and almost made a mask out of red desert sand.

Pulling a bottle of water out, he took Cloud's cheeks and squeezed them just enough to open her mouth. Pouring just a little of the clear liquid in, she swallowed slowly and he tried again wanting to get as much as she would take down her throat. When she stopped swallowing, he drank the last half of the last bottle down. Gathering all their things, he changed direction back to his original heading.

The pain in his entire body protested all of his movements and it became a fight to the death. Die peacefully by giving up, or be killed while fighting hard for what they both longed for. His body wanted to give up but his heart had to go on. From walking for the last five or six days in this desolate part of the planet, he figured it wouldn't be much longer until he had the village of Cosmo Canyon in view. It was just his will power keeping him going.

Probably by pure luck, he didn't run into any patrols or any Turks. If the Turks thought that they went east instead of south, that would be an unbelievable break for them. It was a plausible scenario and if he thought that it would help, he would have headed for Wutai. Shinra didn't have much to do with Wutai since the war, at least that's how it was before they were captured by Hojo.

Praying to Gaia kept his heart from sinking at the thought that the army was occupying his destination, or worse, the Turks. If perchance they were there, he didn't know what he would do. Supposing that the forest that was just east of Cosmo Canyon, it was another two days brisk walk away according to what Conrad told him. That was an option that he considered for a worst case scenario.

Feeling the weight of his angel getting heavier, added with the steadily increasing soreness in his legs and arms, he considered changing her position. Stopping for a moment, he dropped the bags and gently put Cloud down. Another bad sign that loomed over him was the fact that neither one of them had needed to pee. With Cloud's small frame and weakened condition, it was a death sentence just waiting for a place to happen.

Standing straight and stretching, he surveyed the horizon. About another day's walk, he could see the village tower on top of the plateau as the other huts clung to the sides of the cliffs. It had always intrigued him how the villagers were able to build that way while still incorporating the rock as part of the buildings. At least he thought that it was the village, for all he knew, it was another mirage.

Taking up the bags across his shoulders, he picked Cloud up and slung her over his shoulder. Immediately she began to flail and he almost dropped her, "What is it? What's the matter?" Once he got her to the ground, she calmed. Trying again to put her over his shoulder, she again fought him, only harder this time. Getting a swift kick to his shin and a knee to his stomach, he put her back down, "What the hell?! God-damn it Cloud!" Stepping back for a moment, he raked his fingers through his hair, "I guess you don't like that. Okay, FINE!"

Unsuccessfully trying not to lose his temper, he had to remember that she really didn't know what was going on. It still didn't stop another outburst from him though, "Damn it Cloud! We've got to get going!" Calming again, he picked her up in a bridal carry, "I don't know what that was all about, but fuck! Give me a break would ya?" Opening her eyes, she blindly looked around as she leaned her head on his shoulder. With the hand that was furthest from him, she reached over and took a handful of his dried salty sweat stained shirt and did nothing else.

Taking a deep breath, he felt horrible for yelling at her. When he began walking to what he hoped was the village, he kissed her on the top of her head, "I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?" Not getting an answer, he just watched the horizon and his fake mirage get closer.

As the sun began to set, a large obstacle loomed in front of him. Working up the last bit of his strength, he slowly worked his way up the steep stone staircase and to the village entrance.

At the top, a deeply tanned man with dark brown hair stood in the way, stopping them, "What business do you have here?"

Breathlessly Zack spoke through his raw throat, "I need help for her. I was told to ask for Bugenhagen. Please, she is dying."

"We don't allow Shinra to enter our village without permission."

"I'm not with Shinra anymore, we escaped from them. They are the reason she's dying," Not able to hold her anymore, his sapped strength gave out on him. The man watched as both of them fell to the ground in front of him, "Please… Have mercy on us." Looking up, his eyes churned with sorrow, swimming in pain, "…Leave me to die if you want, but have mercy on her. I'm begging you…"

"Kitchi, let them pass," Zack looked up at the old man who addressed the guard, "I can sense innocence from them." Unable to hold his weight on his hands and knees any longer, he fell to his stomach on the warm rock slab. The last thing the fallen man heard before he was enveloped in darkness was, "Kitchi, go get Tokala and get both of them to Sharna's hut."


	14. First Impressions

"Nothing of character is really permanent but virtue and personal worth." –Daniel Webster

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 14

~First Impressions~

_Releasing the door, the exuberant brunette caught up to the blond as her eyebrows rose, fearfully surprised, "Dancing?"_

_"_ _Yeah, you know…" Moving his hips and swinging his arms, he almost slung her bag of goodies across the grassy garden that sat outside the store. However, his clumsy interpretation of a dance got a short giggle from her, "…Dancing, it's where two people get together and move to the beat of good music."_

_Pushing his arm, she sounded annoyed suddenly, "I know what dancing is. What I meant was that I don't really dance and besides, I'm still in uniform because I just got off duty."_

_"_ _Hey, no worries, we can meet back here in one hour. I gotta run a quick errand anyway and I'll be right back here. Okay?" Without noticing that he crossed his fingers, he waited for her answer._

_One sigh and an eye roll later, she answered, "...Fine." Taking her bag back, she left and as soon as she was out of sight, he broke out in a dead run._

_When he got back to his apartment, his roommate, Dean, yelled, "Hey!"_

_Ignoring him, Zack jumped in the shower. Digging through the small assortment of the old tiny leftover bars of soap that stuck to the shelf, and each other, he found the best smelling ones. Not able to get two of the different kinds of soap apart, he just washed with it and hoped for the best._

_Wiping the steam off the mirror, he worked on his hair until it was just right. Slipping on his nicest civilian button up shirt, Dean sat up on the side of his bed, "What's your rush?"_

_"_ _I've got less than an hour and I'm taking out_ the _most beautiful girl ever!"_

_"_ _You mean that fiiiine_ _blond chick?"_

_Slapping on a little cologne, he growled, "Yes and her name is Cloud."_

_Lying back on his bed, he put his hands behind his head, "Finally. Maybe now you'll stop calling out her name when you jack off."_

_"_ _Shut up Dean. I will have you know_ _that she is a great girl," Pausing and turning to the other man, Zack was embarrassed and appalled, "What the hell? Why are you listening when I'm… umm... showering?"_

_A huge mischievous grin crossed the dirty blonde's face, "You aren't exactly the quietest person," Sitting up, Dean jerked his hand in mock masturbation and moaned, "Cloud, Oh, oh, oh yeah…ahh Cloud!"_

_Horrified, Zack stood there for a moment until a smile crept across his lips and he opened his mouth, "I figured you would be okay with me calling out Cloud's name_ _because before her it was your sister!" Jumping toward the slightly taller man, Dean grabbed him in a headlock and Zack yelled out in annoyance, "Dude, my hair! I just got it fixed_ _!_ _"_

_With a shove and a smile, Dean plopped back on his bed, "Get out of here and leave me alone."_

_"_ _Wish me luck!"_

_Flipping Zack the finger and a smile, "Fuck off," was Dean's departing words._

_Running down the hall, he heard a deep and familiar voice, "Zackary Fair!"_

_Freezing in place, he snapped to attention with a perfect salute, "Sir!"_

_"_ _Where are you going in such a hurry?" Sephiroth's eyes scrutinized the younger man's appearance._

_"_ _Sir, I have a date sir," Checking his internal watch, the young Second Class only had a few minutes and he still had to get all the way on the other side of the complex._

_Genuinely intrigued, the General narrowed his unique eyes, "_ _This person is very special if you are willing to break the safety rules in a heavy foot-traffic area."_

_"_ _Sir, yes she is sir," Wishing that his superior would return his salute so that he could relax, Zack held his back straight, waiting impatiently. When a quick fantasy of him engaged in a passionate kiss with Cloud suddenly popped to mind, he began to feel his neck and head heat up with a deep blush._

_"_ _At ease," Finally Zack relaxed his stance. Sephiroth rarely smiled, but there was a hint of one on the corner of his mouth, "What time are you supposed to meet this... special girl?"_

_"_ _In about five minutes over at the quad, sir," Internally he was hopping in place, itching to move and get to the meeting with the petite blond._

_Turning the corner, Angeal questioned, "_ _Sephiroth, let the boy go, can't you see he's breaking out in a sweat?"  
_

_Zack didn't think he would ever be so happy to see his mentor. Quietly moving around him, the feel of Sephiroth's opposing presence loomed over him and he fought the urge to take off running._

_"_ _Angeal, I was just going to ask what the girl's name was. Remember last time, he didn't know," Making it back in front of the younger man, Sephiroth stood proudly, "I just want to know that if any impropriety is going to happen between them, he at least know her name."_

_"_ _You have a good point Sephiroth," Turning to look at Zack he asked, "So, Puppy, what is the girl's name?"_

_Squeezing his eyes closed, Zack hated that nickname, every time he heard it, he wanted to explode and yell at his mentor to not call him that. Quickly answering the question got him one step closer to getting out of there and making it to the quad before she left. With an audible whine, he checked with his internal clock said he had three minutes left, "Cloud, sir."_

_Sephiroth stood straighter and almost had a look of alarm, "Cloud? Do you mean Cloud Strife?"_

_"_ _Yes sir. You know her sir?"_

_"_ _Her file crossed my desk as a potential Soldier recruit. She has very high marks in all areas but sword technique and I was asked to consider allowing her to test for entry in the program when the next cycle starts in seven months."_

_Putting a hand on Zack's shoulder, Angeal reassured his student, "Sephiroth, let the boy go," Angeal dismissed him and Zack could hear the two of them continuing their conversation, but he didn't care. Running at full speed, he coasted down the hall and a couple who were holding hands turned a corner and he knew he wouldn't be able to stop in time. Taking a running jump, he got to the top of the trash can and flipped over them as the woman let out a scream._

_As he landed behind them, the brunette yelled, "Sorry!"_

_Getting to the meeting place at least fifteen minutes late, he saw her across the quad, walking away. Mumbling, "No, no, no…" While breaking out in another run, he caught up to her, "Sorry, sorry I'm late!"_

_Pulling her arm out of his hand and wearing a stern look, her eyes burned with anger. Steeling her jaw, she narrowed her eyes, "I'm leaving. I knew this was a mistake."_

_"_ _Oh no, come on! I was on my way and General Sephiroth stopped me-"_

_Big blue eyes grew wide in amazement, "G-General Sephiroth?"_

_"_ _Yeah, so anyway he got on to me for running. That's why I'm late," Waiting for her to change her mind, her face softened._

_"_ _Well if General Sephiroth stopped me, I guess- I, well… Come on, let's just go."_

_Although Zack had a good idea that she had a crush on the General, it didn't stop his own desire for her. As it stood, he thought everybody had a crush on the impressive man. He had to admit, he, Zack Fair, ladies-man extraordinaire, had a man-crush on him too. Pushing that thought to the side, it was his goal right then to spend his time with this girl who made such an impression on him from the beginning._

"Sharna, as soon as he is able, send him up to me."

"Yes, Grandfather."

The quiet and cool breeze shuffled his hair and he felt… comfortable. Was he lying on a cot? It was soft, it had a few lumps, but they were evenly distributed so it wasn't too bad. The odd feeling that his feet were hanging from the end of the cot drew his attention. It wasn't too unusual; the people in this area were known that they were of a slightly smaller stature.

Too exhausted to open his eyes, he felt calm and wanted to stay right where he was. A dip in the side of the mattress shifted him a small amount and when he felt a cool wet cloth wipe at his forehead and he exhaled. Whatever happened after he collapsed, he didn't know, but he did remember that he made it to Cosmo Canyon. The trek was long but he got there.

Now Cloud could get- Wait… Cloud!

Sitting up with a loud inhale, he scared the young woman who sat at his bedside, "Where's Cl- I mean Bonnie?" Second guessing himself, using their real names would probably not be in the best interests of anyone involved.

Gathering her things, the woman bowed her head, "You mean the pretty woman who was with you?"

"Yes," Surprised that a woman as young as she appeared seemed very mature, Zack thought that she couldn't have been any older than sixteen, but her strong presence overshadowed any immaturity. She had her dark brown hair tied back with a light brown headband. With eyes dark enough, they were almost black, her darkened skin complemented them and together she was a beautiful girl who would grow up and be a stunning woman one day.

"She is in the back room. I can take you to her. My name is Sharna," Holding her hand out toward the door, he looked at her and rose silently, "Come. She's this way."

Finally looking around, he noticed that his cot was out on an enclosed balcony, surrounded by netting. That explained the cool breeze at least. The sun was rising and drenched the land in bright yellow light. Feeling rough fabric brush his skin, he looked down and he was wearing plain brown pants that tied at the waist. The burlap like material wasn't really all that comfortable, but his shirt was. The light blue was a light and very soft material that had an open collar that allowed the breeze to cool him.

Following the girl down a darkened hallway, there were all kinds of pictures of various things. Some looked like homemade posters with folk remedies listed on them while others were obviously family portraits. There were many paintings that depicted the scenery of the canyon beyond the gates of the village. Sunsets that were glorious in their intensity with reds, oranges and yellows blended to a picture of Gaia's perfection.

Strings of beads hung down making a curtain that clinked with an unusually pleasant sound. When Sharna brightened the oil lamp, seeing Cloud was breathtaking. It felt as though he had been thirsty for so long, and she was the glass of water that soothed him.

Someone bathed her and brushed her hair out and a beautiful braid, that put his to shame, shined in the dim light. Lying on her back, Cloud's hands rested on her stomach and she wore a dark blue short-sleeve one piece dress that covered her down to her knees. Her skin absolutely glowed in a radiance that he hadn't seen from her in all the years that they were in the lab.

Rushing over and kneeling on the floor at her bedside, he looked her over. Taking one of her hands, he lifted it to his lips.

"Um, excuse me, sir. My Grandfather wanted to speak with you as soon as you were feeling up to the climb," the young dark-haired girl smiled softly.

"Well actually, I brought Bonnie here to see Bugenhagen. Someone told me that he could help her."

With a giggle, she covered her mouth, "My Grandfather is Bugenhagen."

To be any more surprised at his luck than he was right then, he would have had to wake up wearing a dress and locked in the Honey Bee Inn.

Unable to hold his enthusiasm, he held the back of Cloud's hand to his forehead and whispered, "I'm gonna get you some help."

Sharna interrupted, "If you come with me, I'll take you to him. After so long, you need to get a little exercise."

"How long was I out?"

When the girl came over and adjusted the blonde's head a little, Zack noticed that her chapped lips were better now. Come to mention, so were his.

"Almost six days."

"Six days? Wow, I didn't think I could sleep that long," His body obviously needed the rest and time for recuperation.

Looking back to Cloud's face, she slept peacefully. Her eyes moved under her lids and she let out a quiet noise that almost sounded like a sigh. From all the time that they had spent in the sun, her skin was lightly tanned, but still retained its soft silky look and feel. The soaps they used to clean her made her smell like a bushel of raspberries. Leaning over, he kissed her cheek, "I'll be right back Chocobo."

Leaving with Sharna, he was half distracted by everything that the village had to offer. Realizing too late by what the girl had meant about feeling up to the climb, Zack winced at the pain his body was still in. Catching up to the girl after the third set of steep stairs, he asked, "How much further?"

"It's just up this rope ladder."

As he emerged from the hole in the ground, he could see all around. Everything was within his sights and he was in awe. With the sound of a door opening, he turned to see the strange-looking house. At the top it looked like a big telescope on one side and a satellite dish on the other.

Not paying attention, the loud _thwang_ that resonated through the metal that made up most of the house, shocked and temporarily maimed the tall visitor. Stumbling back a few steps, Zack held his face in his hands. Realizing that he walked right into the top of the door frame, he pulled his hand back and blood covered his palm, "Oww!"

Pinching the top of his nose to close his nasal passages to stop the trickle of blood, he ducked under the frame in an exaggerated manner.

"Woo Hoo! That looked like it hurt," A laugh that sounded more like a grown up giggle got his attention.

Swinging around, he saw a tiny old man wearing blue and green. His thinning gray hair was neatly combed and his hands were in front of his chest, tucked into the sleeves of his shirt.

Peering at the man from down his cheeks, he was awkwardly hunched. With his nose pinched closed, he spoke in an embarrassingly nasal voice, "Um, yeah it did. Are you Bugenhagen?"

Hopping up and down, the animated man joyously grinned, "Yes that would be me. Please sit." Sitting/falling, Zack got as comfortable as he could in what seemed almost like miniature furniture. Taking some tissue that Sharna offered, Zack noticed a glass of water next to him on an end table. After wiping most of the blood from his face, he stuffed some of the tissue in his nostrils. Thirstier than he thought, the sight of the water got his attention quickly. Zack got a drink as the man spoke, "I am guessing that you want to know how the woman you were with is doing."

Straightening his back, the larger man leaned forward, "Yes. She has mako poisoning. Will you be able to help her?"

"I have already helped as much as I could with the mako sickness, but…"

"But what? I'll do anything, please you've got to save her," What could it be? What else did Hojo do that threatened her life?

Bouncing again, the man moved toward him, "I didn't say I couldn't help her, but I need to know something first." Pausing for a moment, the man stood directly in front of him, "What is she to you?"

'What is she to me? What kind of question was that?' Having to lean back to scoot his butt closer to the front of the couch he attempted to sit up. He tried to look as serious as a man could with a nosebleed dammed up with tissue protruding from his nostrils, a rising bruise on his forehead and his knees closer to his chest than they should have been in an uncomfortable spot on an obscenely small couch. Closing his eyes, he pictured her smiling at him with the twinkle in her eyes that lit a spark in his gut. His hand went to his chest and held it above his heart, softening his face, he answered simply, "Everything." Opening his eyes, he made eye contact with the old man.

Bouncing even more, the wise old man asked, "Woo Hoo! So does that mean you're the father?"

"No, I'm not her father! Do I look old enough to be her-" Feeling his mouth suddenly dry, his jaw dropped and the smile on the old man's face became blurry as darkness crept in from the sides of his vision. Zack watched as the floor got closer just before he blacked out.


	15. Tiny Revelations

"Wisdom, compassion and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men." –Confucius

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 15

~Tiny Revelations~

Total blackness, it was something that he saw very little of. It was rare, but not inconsequential, in fact when there were no dreams, it raised serious questions. However, he felt as though his whole body were on fire. The nightmare of that night in Nibelheim, the searing heat that scorched the land and destroyed so many lives ripped into his thoughts.

_The burning in his chest, the shortness of breath as he ran after the man he once looked up to as a true hero had gone mad. Sephiroth's maniacal laughter reverberated in his ears and bounced off the walls of the inner part of the reactor as he fought. The fight went on forever, as if he had entered a strong-man competition, a scrutiny of his stamina. The silver-haired General kept coming at him, just when he would put distance between them so he could catch his breath, he came at him again. It was a test, a test of his training, his skill, his endurance and Sephiroth was winning. Perhaps Angeal had put his time, effort and trust in the wrong cadet._

_Then it happened. The very moment that he doubted himself, the long thin steel sword came down and sliced him open. Never had he seen anything like it, time stood still as he looked down at his wound. The sharpest sword known to man had cut through his armor, his sweater, his skin and muscle, leaving a gaping hole in him. Not just physically, but his life was meaningless now. The sight of bone, his sternum and down below part of his ribs to his belly,_ _carved_ _with the tip of the sword, brought him to his knees._

_Dropping Angeal's buster sword, he couldn't even call it his sword anymore, he betrayed his mentor's trust in his Soldier honor. Falling forward to his hands, his blood stained the metal grating that made up the platform they stood on. One of his trembling hands rose to the shocking and massive laceration instinctively as his fingers gripped at his skin, literally trying to hold himself together. Protruding muscle tissue and organs dipped grotesquely from the cut with every drop of blood. Agonizing breaths set a new burn through his body as he looked up through his eyebrows. Zack wanted to look the man in his eyes before that sword finished the job it started. Just as he thought, there was nothing but evil intentions lurking behind those blaringly green, serpentine eyes._

_Again there was the laugh, the self-righteous voice that solidified his anger. Zack was not an equal, he had lost the battle and he would pay the ultimate price because of his failures. How many more innocents would die because of his inadequacies?_

_When the sword; that ridiculously long sword, started its descent to decapitate the young First Class who stayed on his hands and knees, something else happened. The buster sword that he dropped seemed to float in mid-air, it blocked the killing blow, but it didn't matter at that point. With no more strength in the arm that held him up, he fell to his stomach. The side of his face rested on the grating and he watched a pair of small combat boots that stood in front of him. Before the heavy feeling of sinking through the floor could take him, the frightened voice of a woman asked if he was okay. Cutting his eyes up as much as he could, he saw his best friend kneeling. All across her face was pain, anger and hatred._

_"Cloud... finish Sephiroth off," Was all Zack could say. Running her hand through his sweaty hair, she didn't cry, she didn't shy away, but she stepped up, like a brave Soldier._

_With determination and power of will, she attacked the man who she once looked up to just as much as any other soldier did, "Sephiroth!"_

_In slow motion, Zack watched as Sephiroth skewered the small blond on the end of his sword, right between her breasts. Squeezing his eyes shut at the sound of her shallow scream of pain and the short harsh inhale she fought to take, Zack heard the man speak to her as if she didn't just attack him, he sounded like she was just an annoyance, a pest, a pet that had made a mess, "Don't test me."_

_This was it; he had failed and not only gotten himself killed, but Cloud too._

_When a gasp came from Sephiroth, Zack opened his eyes as the insane General's quiet exclamation, "Impossible!"_

_The sight of his best friend hanging from the sword, his eyes welled up until he saw something that he never thought could happen. The small gloved hands took the blade in hand and she pulled herself further down the blade. The tip of the sword tore through the fabric of her uniform on her back as she grunted in painful determination. When she actually was able to get the upper hand of the fight, she tossed the swordsman down to the pure raw mako at the bottom of the reactor, taking the sword with him._

_Catching herself on the side of a mako pod, she grasped at her chest. Shuffling silently forward, she could go no further. Landing on her stomach, she looked into Zack's deep violet eyes briefly before she closed hers. Despite the harsh pain, he reached for her, "...You did it Cloud." With his fingertips, he was able to brush a lock of hair from her face before he too fell to darkness._

* * *

That was the Cloud he knew, strong but gentle, fierce but loving, careful but spontaneous. That was the Cloud that he fell so deeply, totally and completely in love with.

Now, opening his eyes as two strangers worked at waking him, the feel of the floor seemed like the right place for him right then. Was this the feeling of the beginning of peace, or the feeling of a total nervous breakdown in the making?

"Grandfather, I think he is in shock."

Hojo? Cloud? Was this what it had all been about? Was Hojo after this all along? The stakes just got raised and he just had that much more to fight for. Or was it that he had that much more for him to be frightened of?

"Woo Hoo. I do not believe he knew about her condition. If that is the case, it is no wonder. News like this can be difficult to take if it isn't what you're expecting, especially from what they have been through."

Looking around from the floor, he scanned everything like it was a brand new world; he'd never seen it before. Voices that spoke about him and to him were just background noise, he couldn't actually hear what they were saying right then. Everything was off and he was well on his way to his mind flinging itself out to pasture.

"Grandfather, he is awfully pale."

Slowly, he surveyed them with empty eyes, he saw them, but didn't look at them. Life took on new definition now. Searching his memories, he wondered if that was what Harding was trying to tell him, but in his anger, Zack wouldn't allow him to say anything else. Harding had to have known, that is why he got them out of there when he did. It was for the safety of not only Cloud, but the baby too. Zack was the one that he chose to take her out of there and that was the reason. What would happen to Harding if Hojo found out it was him who helped them escape?

"Sharna, go get him some water. Zack?"

The fact that the old man had called him by his name didn't faze him. He didn't care if the man called him shit head at this point. Some of the things that he was questioning made sense now, like her weight gain. Then there was the rushing panic that he felt at the thought of walking through the dry, hot barren land and drinking part of her share of water. Not only had he put Cloud's life in greater danger, but the life of his child.

"Here Zack, drink some water."

'Oh Gaia, my child?' That thought sent a dizzying feeling through him that made him glad he was still lying on the floor. What was going to happen to them now? Not only was the army after them, but Turks and Hojo too. The thought of what would happen if they got their hands on Cloud or the baby got a guttural reaction out of him.

"Grandfather, I think he's going to be sick."

He gagged, but nothing came up. Pushing away that thought, he concentrated on Cloud. Finding someplace where they would be safe permanently was a new priority, it took on a new sense of urgency. Being on the run with a baby would not only be dangerous but damn near impossible. That would be like sending out invitations for dinner to a pack of hungry dragons or a sign pointing them out to the Turks.

"Sharna, go get a wet cloth for him."

When the thought of Hojo getting his hands on them again, instead of making him nauseous, it made him scowl and he just thought he felt violent before. This was a whole new level of anger driven protectiveness. The primal and instinctual part that made up his human male genetic make-up caused a territorial urge to seal away the blond and the child.

"Here, Grandfather, I have a cloth."

The feel of the cool cloth on his face brought him back to this strange hut, in a strange land with strange people. Sitting up in a hurry, he had to get back to Cloud; he needed her next to him.

"Whoa, slow down Zack," The man held out his hand to help him up and all he could do was look at the man's hands as though he didn't know what the man wanted.

Opening his mouth, nothing came out so he closed it only to open it up again just a second later. Sharna wiped at his forehead again and he looked in her direction, "-I…" He knew he sounded like an idiot but he tried to finish his incoherent thought anyway, "I… need to see Cloud." Getting up, he started for the door and his face met the door frame again, "Oww… Gaia-Dammit!"

Holding his nose again and pulling the tissue out of his nostrils, he sprinted out the door and down the rope ladder then successfully got himself lost. Running in circles, he grabbed a woman in a materia shop, "…Woman… blond… where?" Great, now he started to sound like an imbecile and a cave man.

When the woman shrugged her shoulders, he felt a tug on the back of his shirt, "Come on, I'll show you the way back."

Thankful that Sharna showed up, he eagerly followed her back to where he woke up just an hour ago. Getting to the beaded curtain, Sharna pulled back a handful and stepped to the side. There, in the bed, just as he left her, was the beautiful woman who was carrying his child. Feeling his knees weaken, he stumbled forward and dropped to the floor next to her. Taking one of her hands, he put her palm to his cheek and kissed the inside of her wrist.

Cutting his eyes over to her small rounded belly that he originally thought was nothing; he slowly moved his hand toward it. Pausing right above her stomach, he hesitated and looked back at her face and whispered, "Cloud?" Her eyes were as still as a calm lake in the morning, her breathing steady and her hand warm and full of life, he looked back to her stomach. Moving his fingers cautiously, he lay his hand down on the firm bump.

The tiniest flutter, a soft and gentle wave, he jerked his hand back at the touch. Shocked, he looked back to her face, but nothing in her expression changed. He didn't know a lot about pregnancy except for the mandatory field medical classes that he took, but something was odd. She couldn't be too far along, she wasn't very big. How was he able to feel any movement? How had he not felt anything before now?

"I bet you're wondering how far along she is, aren't you?"

Whipping his head around, he met the eyes of the old man. Without saying a word, the man answered his unasked question.

"She isn't but about four, maybe five months along from what I can tell. However, you're also wondering why you can feel the baby now. Aren't you?"

Again, Zack's eyes asked the question that the old man picked up on.

"Your baby is very special. I feel a great strength and importance that surrounds the child," Approaching the sleeping blond, Bugenhagen added, "But, danger surrounds all three of you."

Placing his hand back to Cloud's stomach, he closed his eyes at the fluttering that was just beneath her skin. Bowing his head, he rested his forehead on her chest and shed tears that were full of every emotion that one person could go through.


	16. A Place to Call Home

"A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill requires only our silence; which costs us nothing." –John Tillotson

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 16

~A Place to Call Home~

Zack didn't know how long he sat there, feeling her chest rise with her breaths was soothing to his raging heart. The baby seemed to have calmed and Bugenhagen stayed there while the new father-to-be came to terms with the situation as best as possible. Without moving his head from her chest, he asked, quietly in a low whisper, "How do you know my name?"

"The Turks that were here before left pictures with your names. They told us that you are very dangerous."

All Zack could do was make a sarcastic noise, "Pfft."

"Let me ask you. Are you dangerous?"

Finally lifting his head, Zack turned to the old man who wore a smile. Bugenhagen asked him a question that he already knew the answer to. This man was odd, for sure, but he saved Cloud's life and for that he would be forever grateful, "What do I owe you for all your trouble?"

"Woo Hoo. I was not going to ask for compensation, but since you're offering I suppose I can come up with something."

"I have gil."

"I don't want money Zack," Bugenhagen smiled and bounced in place.

The brunette cringed. All the things that they went through in the lab, this was something that he became used to. Everybody always wanted something for their trouble. They always wanted something in return for favors and it was always what he wasn't willing to give up. Whether he wanted to give up or not, it consistently came down to him compromising his pride. Now, this old man seemed to have something specific that he wanted.

From his position on his knees, Zack looked up at the old man's face. A storm built up behind his eyes, he wanted to fight his way out, wanted to take Cloud and hide away forever. The fact remained that these people knew who they were and where they were and it was just a matter of time before his and Cloud's time was up. Furrowing his eyebrows, he swallowed hard as he closed his eyes, readying himself for what he knew he had to do. He only had to remember that everything he did was for Cloud as always, and now his child.

When he opened his eyes again, the old man had moved closer, still with a smile that he couldn't decipher. Nervous and shaking hands reached up to the old man's waist band and tugged open the tie that held them up on his waist.

Alarmed, the old man tilted his head and backed away immediately, "Oh my, no. You misunderstand me!"

Zack froze, hands still in the air where the man was standing before. The storm of blue glowing light in his eyes died down to a small squall, "I… -but you said you didn't want money…"

A smaller, frail and wrinkled hand reached out to his remarkably velvety black spikes. The soft caress was what his mother used to do; it was both comforting and relaxing. The warm hand moved down the side of his head to his cheek and then his chin. With a firm, but painless grasp, holding Zack's chin allowed the man to move his head as he seemed to inspect the former Soldier. Greying eyebrows pushed together and gloominess laced with his words, "What did they do to you son?"

Zack didn't answer, he couldn't answer. His voice seized up on him but he spared a loving glance to his sleeping blond lover.

Backing away again, Bugenhagen reassured, "That is quite alright. There is no need to tell me, just remind yourself of this, you are no longer there. You are safe here."

The combination of the man helping Cloud, finding out that he was going to be a father, the man's thankful rejection to Zack's advances and the simple words 'you are safe here' was too much. Falling back to his backside, the heels of his hands covered his eyes as he openly cried. It wasn't as if he never cried before, this was different though. All the other times, he was in despair, pain and everything that the often overused word, scared, described. This time, it was relief.

For so long he was tested, he was pushed to his limits and beyond. Without so much as a thought for his own wellbeing, he put his faith in the belief that one day they would be safe. One day he would be able to wake up and not have to worry whether or not he and Cloud would be killed that day or the next. Starting to think that it was just a dream, it was getting farther out of his grasp as each day passed.

Renewed hope shined in his heart, the simple fact that most took for granted, safety. Cloud's mako sickness was on the mend, with the help of this small and slight old man, he could see his and the blonde's happiness again. With the heavy tears subsided, a glass was nudged against his arm.

"Here, drink some water. Woo Hoo. I tell you one thing, you certainly know how release that inner turmoil. I have a better way however."

Wiping at his face, Zack drank the water and curiously asked, "What do you mean?"

Taking the now empty glass, Bugenhagen bounced, "There are plenty of things that need to be done around the village if you want to stay for a while."

Hesitantly, Zack calculated his reply, "I don't want to put you or the village in danger. If we are here, then it is, and that is something that I can't live with."

"Nonsense, I refuse to kick you and a pregnant woman out and expect any good would come of it. Now, stop arguing with me and just accept the offer," The proud stance that the man stood in, the calm and gentle look in his eyes set Zack at ease. Pivoting, the man spoke over his shoulder, "Come on out to the Cosmo Candle and we can talk."

Taking time to compose himself, Zack took Cloud's hand, "Hey Chocobo, I'm gonna go see what's up, if we really can stay. You stay right here and just…" Tenderly his lips touched the ivory skin of her temple, he lingered wanting to feel the slightest movement from her. Nothing stirred from her, however, so he stood and opened his eyes. The peaceful way she laid there, he told himself that she was so tranquil because he was near her, taking care of her.

Getting outside Sharna's hut, Zack noticed dozens of people gathered around the large fire that set in the middle of the quiet village. They all talked amongst themselves and none of them seemed upset or angry. When Zack was spotted, silence fell and blanketed the entire crowd. An encouraging wave of his hand, Bugenhagen urged the larger man forward.

Standing in front of the gathered villagers, Bugenhagen began, "Many days ago two lost souls were sent to us. As you all know by now, Shinra is after them," Pausing for the murmuring to die down, he started again, "Hojo is after them."

One man called out from the crowd, "What would you like for us to do Master Bugenhagen?"

With a smile, the old man winked at Zack and finished up, "I would like to welcome them here, for you to accept them as members of this village."

Silence was followed by another round of whispering. Zack's eyes searched the crowd, looking for anything that told him what to think. Just as with the old wise man, their faces were unreadable to him.

The man that spoke out before spoke again, "I have some extra building supplies for him."

Again furrowing his dark eyebrows, he wasn't sure what the man meant by that. Before he had a chance to ponder the meaning, another villager spoke, "I need help in the caves with digging."

A young woman with a baby in a carrier on her back spoke, "The well wheel needs to be repaired again Girndy has been too busy to fix it."

Another man spoke, "There is plenty of space in that old house on the other side of Kitchi's hut for him and his woman."

Looking to Bugenhagen, Zack's total confusion showed to everyone at the gathering. A few giggles and an outright laugh caught his attention. Asking the old man, Zack inquired curiously, "What…?"

With a pat on the back, the man calmed Zack's fears, "Welcome to the village, Zack."

With a sweep of arms and hands, the stunned brunette was ushered over to the other side of a hut, just out of sight of the Cosmo Candle. More noise and ruckus jerked his attention to piles of wood, nails, plywood and various other things being set down close to his feet.

"My name is Solack," The man who spoke first at the gathering slapped Zack on the back hard enough to make him lose his balance. Regaining his footing, Solack pointed to the pile, "This should get you started."

"Started with what?" Zack watched as the crowd dissipated and left him standing in front of a small dilapidated dwelling. Rubbing the back of his head, his thoughts churned, but came back more confused than he was before. Could it be that they were helping him and Cloud without any reservations? That was at least what he understood, but now this. Obviously he was supposed to fix this rat-hole of a shelter.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zack saw a young boy standing with his hands on his hips. The boy studied the pile alongside the former Soldier. Walking around the pile slowly, the boy rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "So, are you going to get started?"

"And what exactly am I supposed to do?"

The look that the boy gave him suddenly reminded him of Cloud. He didn't know that he missed the 'you are such a dumbass' look she used to give him and now, the boy did a very good interpretation, "Uh, your hut… duh." Zack couldn't hold it, he burst out laughing and the boy looked at him with a 'you have completely lost you mind' look.

Catching his breath, he looked at the boy's young face and innocent eyes, "I'm Zack. What's your name?"

"I know your name, everyone knows your name," Tilting his head, the boy examined the tall man across from him, "You don't look like a crazed multi-armed people-eating monster. I guess I can trust you," Playfully putting his fists on his hips, he grinned, "My name is Pipki."

"Well Pipki, I've never done anything like this, or this extensive kind of renovations. Would you mind helping me?"

Crossing his arms across his chest, Pipki rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine, but there is something that you have to promise first."

A wide smile showed Zack's white teeth, "Of course."

"Okay, promise me that you'll be on my team when we play Jenquel ball."

Rubbing the back of his head, Zack asked, "What is Jenquel ball?"

"What?! Oh my Gaia!" Slapping his hand to his forehead, the young boy shook his head, "Never mind, let's just get this hut built before I have to find a wife," Pipki began moving some of the construction materials around and directed Zack on what to do.

It seemed that the boy knew what he was doing and Zack couldn't help but laugh at the naturally funny kid. By sunset, Zack and Pipki were already half way done with the three room hut and the kid assured him that they would be finished by tomorrow. However, the dark-haired boy informed him that he was not helping him and Cloud move in.

That evening, Bugenhagen invited Zack to dinner. As sore and tired as he was he wanted to thank the man who wanted them to stay. Getting to the house with the impressive view, he remembered to duck when entering this time.

Talking late in to the night, Zack told him some of what happened in the lab. Of course he left out the more demeaning things that he was forced to do and endure. He talked of how he met Cloud and how he fell in love with her. Telling Bugenhagen of the way Cloud killed Sephiroth; the old man was surprised that the sweet innocent looking girl in the village clinic was capable of that kind of strength. Zack told him way more than he thought he would ever tell anyone, definitely more than he told Conrad.

The next day, as promised, he and Pipki finished with their project. When Zack got back from getting some lunch, a large bed and a table with two chairs were set up inside his and Cloud's lodge. Really liking the sound of that, he repeated that thought in his mind, a nice and comfortable place for him and Cloud to live.

Whoever it was that gave them the furniture built it overnight and specially made it to fit his larger stature. The generosity that the people showed them gave him a sense of obligation, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing this time.

Getting Cloud from the clinic and carrying her in a bridal hold, he walked through the door of their new home. The symbolic gesture on his part was a dream of his come true, but as usual, the dark shadow of disappointment loomed over their lives.


	17. Just a Day in the Life of Zack Fair

"The imagination exercises a powerful influence over every act of sense, thought, reason – over every idea." –Latin Proverb

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 17

~Just a Day in the Life of Zack Fair~

"Good morning Zack," Solack waved to him as he walked by.

Waving back, Zack smiled, "Morning!" Making his way down to the caves like every morning for the last couple of months, the larger man greeted everyone just as they did daily. Digging underground was tiring, but it paid for his new home, food, clothes and Cloud's medical care. Sharna had to start charging him, but only because the medicine that she began to give to Cloud was not cheap. It didn't help that the traveling merchants were charging extra since they were keeping quiet about why they needed the medicine. Bugenhagen knew them, and trusted them, but everyone wanted something in return.

Zack still held on to as much of the gil that Harding had given them and only used as little as possible. As long as he had a job, there was no reason to use it and he didn't know when he would need it later.

According to Sharna and Bugenhagen, the medicine was a combination of prenatal vitamins and something that kind of neutralized the more harmful effects of the mako.

Reaching his destination in the caves, Tokala grinned, "Good morning Zack, right on time."

Zack waited as Tokala gave everyone their morning talk and prayer. While he waited, he approached the white chocobo that he'd been working with, Marshmallow, as she stood in her stable. When the young chocobo saw him, she bounced up and down while flapping her wings and let out a loud, 'Wwaark!'

Patting her neck and petting her, he scratched in that spot just under her wing that made her cuddle her head to his neck, "How are you today beautiful?"

Marshmallow cooed 'wark' and allowed him to place her reins around her beak and head.

"Zack," Tokala called to him. The shorter man looked younger than he was. Although he was in his mid-twenties, he didn't look a day over eighteen. Being the oldest of three boys, he was the youngest of the village council. Tokala's long dark hair was usually kept back neatly with a band around his head, but today he looked completely different. Normally, his serious nature and quiet attitude oozed and filled his personal space, but now, his hair hung loose around his shoulders, he was light on his feet and his face beamed with a not-often-seen smile like a giddy teenager.

"Yeah, what's up? You look a little more… umm," Zack studied the shorter man. When the other man blushed, Zack displayed a toothy grin, "Let me guess, you finally kissed her?" Tokala didn't say a word, he just turned his attention to his leather gloves. Slapping his friend on the shoulder, Zack finished, "I've been wondering when you were going to finally kiss the girl."

"Shut up Zack," Handing the brunette a pickaxe and shovel, Tokala turned and quickly made an exit.

Hanging his tools on the harness that lay over the chocobo's back, he fixed the back of the harness to the small trailer, "What do you think Marshy? It's about damn time that man let her know how he feels about her." Flapping her wings, the chocobo let out another 'wark'. Pulling on the reins, Zack smiled a half smile, "I know how he feels though."

Distracted by his thoughts of the blond asleep in their house, Marshmallow nudged and rubbed her forehead on the back of his head, tangling up his hair and pulling it out of the band that he had it restrained with, and with a grin, he called, "Hey, don't mess with the hair!" After fixing the headband back on his head, he gently urged her on, "Come on, let's get to work."

The caves were getting bigger and every time he walked past the older entrance to the oldest part of the cave, he got a feeling of dread. Bugenhagen once told him that it led to a place where a mighty battle occurred. Of course he wanted to explore, but he didn't dare. After everything that these people were doing for him and Cloud, he didn't want to take a chance on offending any of them. The digging that they were doing now was strictly for expansion of the village. Zack had a feeling that Bugenhagen was preparing for something big, but he wasn't saying what it was.

Making it to his designated digging spot, he pulled out his pickaxe and began digging at the wall. Once he got the trailer filled, he led Marshmallow to the dump site, a large room that was dug out for this specific purpose, storage. It was closer to the dig site and it allowed the guy who hauled it out to the dump site to separate the rocks from the soil that could be used for planting. Right now though, it just stored dirt and rock that was eventually hauled topside.

At lunch time, Zack left Marshmallow to graze in her stall while he went home to get a bite to eat and see his beautiful angel.

Pushing through the door, Sharna was there and washing Cloud's face, "I went ahead and fed her for you because she still needs to eat smaller meals more often during the day."

Crossing the large room, Zack gave the two women a smiling glance, "Have I ever told you how much I appreciate your help?"

A warm smile lit up the young medicine woman's face, "You're welcome. All of her measurements and everything are really good. The baby seems healthy and active too. Now I must go, Namika's baby needs my attention. I will check back in on her when I'm finished with my other duties."

"Okay thanks Sharna," Zack rustled through the kitchen area of the main room and found stuff to make a large sandwich. The newer cooler that he bought from the traveling merchants really became a really great buy on his part. The one that was originally in the house when he and Cloud were given the place, only worked once a very long time ago. Mistakenly, he had opened to find that kids who had once played in the house had used it to store various items, a wide assortment of paraphernalia that he was sure that the adults of the village knew nothing about. Now that he was able to keep food cold, they both had a wider variety of things that they could eat. Which thrilled Zack to no end, he never wanted to look at another protein bar or toaster pastry again.

Only having enough time to eat, he quickly sat next to the sleeping blond. Sharna had put her on her side, facing him so her cheek was accessible to his lips. While sitting in the lab cells, the thought of having a family with her was once a far off dream, but know it was a reality that wasn't working out exactly how he had envisioned it. For now though, he didn't dwell on the negative, they were safe, and that was all he could reasonably ask for now, "See ya in a bit. I still have at least four more trailers that I need to haul before I can call it a day."

Getting back to the enthusiastic chocobo, Marshmallow was just as excited to see him as she was earlier that day. Leading her back to their assigned area, Zack attached the trailer to the harness again and began working.

Lost in thought, the picture of his parents crossed his mind. He wondered if maybe taking a trip down to Gongaga to see what kind of presence Shinra had there was might be worth it. The one and only thing stopping him was Cloud. She couldn't travel the way he would have to travel in her condition, and he couldn't care for her the way she needed if they were traveling and trying to keep a low profile.

Leaving her here was one way, but being away from her for so long, he didn't think he could do it. Not just for her, but he physically didn't think he could stay away from her for that long. Besides, what if she woke up and he wasn't there, would she think that he abandoned her? He made her a promise a long time ago that he wouldn't leave and he would die before he would leave her side.

'Waark!'

"What?" Looking at the chocobo, she pulled at the trailer that was now overflowing, "Oh, sorry Marshy." Setting his tools down, he led her to dump the contents and went back. At the end of the day, he scratched under her wing and hung up her harnesses, "See you in a couple of days, it is my days off, so you be good for Jalka okay. Just cut him some slack, he has a lot of stuff going on," With one last pat on her side, he left to go home.

With a silly smile on his face, he opened the door and announced, "Honey, I'm home!" Turning to the bedroom, he said in a quieter volume, "I kind of like the sound of that. How about you, do you like that?" Seeing her eyes open, they looked around emptily, but that was nothing new. Shifting her to a different position, he pulled his boots off, "Gimme a minute, I'm gonna clean up a bit and then we can go for our walk."

Getting a quick shower in, he changed clothes and put on some comfortable sandals, "Are you ready to go get some exercise?"

Pulling her up, her larger belly added a bit more weight to her. It was weird seeing her like this, she had always been slim and her slight build didn't hide the pregnancy anymore. For so long, she didn't show much, but just a few weeks after they got here to the Canyon, the baby seemed to grow and so did her beautiful bump. To him, there was nothing more beautiful about her, her natural glow came back, but everything that he heard about pregnant women having a glow was true. Her glow increased and the addition to the growing life inside her, the fact that this woman carried part of him with her made him love her that much more.

When he got her to standing, he asked, "Alright, this time you need to do a little walking. I'll hold you upright, but you have to move your feet. Exercise and walking is important for you and the baby."

Zack's usual path through the village did not include Bugenhagen's house. Getting Cloud up there in her present shape would be a feat of almost epic proportions. He was afraid he would end up hurting her, so he just kept the destinations as flat and non-climbing as possible.

Walking through the market, Cloud was walking and even holding some of her own weight. When something caught Zack's attention, he pulled her along, "Come on Cloud, I want to see something."

The spread of different ribbons of all shapes, sizes and colors got Zack to thinking again. Sharna taught him how to braid, he was actually really good at it now, and he was able to do all kinds of things with her hair. However, here were some ribbons that would look beautiful in her hair.

"What do you think Cloud? Which color do you like?"

Even with her eyes open, she saw nothing. She of course gave no answer, so Zack improvised, "How about purple?" Holding it up to her hair he scrunched his nose, "Nah, how about green?"

A feminine voice behind the displays of accessories remarked, "I don't think that green is her color. What is her favorite color?"

Jumping back to when they were in garrison, he remembered a few times and what her civilian clothes looked like and what she preferred to wear. Zack smiled at the merchant's oldest daughter and picked up the color that he always liked to see her in, "How about pink?" Holding up the dark pink ribbon to the side of her head, he smiled and finished, "I'll buy this one."

With his purchase complete, he walked around some more and still she walked with him. With her eyes still open, he made the walk a little longer this time. As soon as she began to drag her feet, Zack asked, "Well it's starting to get dark out anyway, so why don't we just get something and take home to eat?"

Once they got home, Zack propped her up on the couch that he procured from a neighbor. Not remembering ever seeing anything like it, it was interesting looking to say the least. In fact it was a bit of an eyesore. The bright orange material reminded him of the vests construction crews or hunters would wear. When the neighbor let him have the couch, they kept the covering, so as soon as he was able, he went and bought something to cover the terrible visually assaulting hue in the earthy tone of light brown. It also wasn't very comfortable, but it served its purpose.

"So Cloud, what do you want to eat first, the roast beef or the steamed veggies?" Holding the two items in front of her, the deep blue of her eyes glowed softly as her gaze saw right through them. As if she answered, he filled the silence, "Veggies it is then." Feeding her seemed to be more difficult, the reason being that if she choked, it was harder to flip her over. Zack was weary of bumping or accidently hitting her stomach. The old man tried to reassure him several times, telling him that she was more resilient than that, and so was his child, but even with that information, he still took extra care around her now.

One thing that he found a relief was that something in the mixture of medicine that Sharna and Bugenhagen were giving her helped with the morning vomiting routine. Now instead of every morning, it was maybe once a week.

Finishing up with dinner, Zack sat next to her on the couch, put his arm around her and told her about his day, "I'm pretty sure that Tokala finally kissed Amarinis. You know as well as I do, how he has liked her forever now. I wonder if her father is going to consent to their relationship," Leaning in closer to her ear, he whispered, "Just between you and me, I think he is going to ask her to marry him."

For just a few minutes more, Zack sat there with her at his side before he asked, "Well it's pretty late now, let's go ahead and get to bed. Tomorrow we've got places to go, remember, I'm helping Solack with his roof and you know how early he gets started. But hey, in the afternoon, Pipki is getting ready for his test so he can start training as a warrior. I know he would like to see you, it has been quite a while since he's been able to come over."

Sharna had helped him with simplifying changing her clothes by getting her dresses. Cloud now had an assortment of sun dresses, strapless band dresses and loose-fitting matron dresses. Zack's favorite to see her in was the sun dresses, with her growing belly he liked the way it accentuated her pregnancy. Some of them were loose just below her bust line, so those were the ones he always picked.

Now in her nightclothes, she lay still on her side of the bed. Having closed her eyes after Zack laid her down, and after getting himself undressed, he climbed into bed to curl up to her back. He loved the way her hair felt on his chin and throat. Stroking the side of her head he brushed some loose strands of blond silk-like hair from her face.

With a small kiss to the side of her forehead, he spoke in a hushed whisper, "Good night Chocobo." Moving his hand down to her stomach, he sighed and fell asleep to the feel of his child moving inside the woman he loved.


	18. Heated Accusations

"To conquer oneself is the best and noblest victory. To be vanquished by one's own nature is the worst and most ignoble defeat." –Plato

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 18

~Heated Accusations~

Finishing excavating out his designated area at work the week before, Tokala had Zack start clearing out the dump/storage room. The guy who was usually dumping out the room had an accident and was now in the clinic. He was expected to recover, but it was highly unlikely that he would have much use of his left arm anymore. Getting moved to hauling out the accumulated dirt and rocks was fine with him, it was a nice change. Marshmallow enjoyed getting outside more and she worked that much harder.

Bugenhagen's grandson was due home at any time and apparently they hadn't seen each other since before he and Cloud showed up at the front gate to the village months ago. Nanaki was on a journey of self-discovery at the request of the old man. Zack didn't want to go around asking questions about him, so he left it alone and waited for him to show up.

Filling up the trailer, the piles of dirt and rocks never quit coming, he always had something to do. On his sixth trip out to the outer dump site, he heard a ruckus close to where the Cosmo Candle was. There wasn't any yelling but there was loud talking by several people. Stepping away from the loving chocobo, Zack peered around the rock wall and saw many of the villagers gathered around Bugenhagen. Taking an old torn, rolled up piece of a shirt from his back pocket, he wiped the sweat accumulated on his forehead. A 'wark' got Zack's attention when he then felt the chocobo rub her head into his back, knocking him forward a step.

Quietly, Zack talked over his shoulder without taking his eyes off of the gathering of people, "Cut it out Marshy, I can't hear what they're saying," Holding his hand out, she lowered her head and lifted it so that his hand was on the top of her forehead and 'warked' again, "Hey, do you think it's about quitting time yet?"

Not seeing any Turks, infantry or any men in little white coats, Zack relaxed, but not much. Every day he wondered if this was their last day here. When would Shinra show back up here? They were comfortable, happy for once in so long, now there was something happening and he had to find out. After another two loads, Zack made up his mind, "Come on, let's just call it a day."

Leading her back to the stable, the harness slipped off and then he got a face full of a chocobo's version of a hug. Rubbing her head lovingly on his face and head, he laughed and patted her, "I'll see you tomorrow Marshy." Shutting the stable door, he left and went a way that he could see the candle, but avoided actually walking close to it but there was no one there now.

Walking through the front door of his house, Sharna sat with Cloud and was busy brushing her hair. Pausing for a moment, he took a mental snapshot of how beautiful his blond angel actually was as she lay quietly, staring at nothing hovering above her. Her small hands rested on her stomach, right between her breasts and the large bulge of her belly. The bright yellow sundress accentuated the golden color of her hair and her glow reminded him of the sun, bright and blinding, beautiful but dangerous, and completely necessary to his emotional survival.

Stopping her ministrations of Cloud's hair, Sharna looked up, "I tried to find you earlier, but I wasn't able to. Grandfather wanted me to tell you that he would like to speak with you."

Feeling hot, dirty and tired he internally moaned at the climb that he had to look forward to. Still, he tried to stall, "I just got home. I haven't cleaned up or anything and Cloud still needs to eat and take her walk."

Turning her eyes back to him, there was the look of a heavy heart that he hadn't seen in her since one of the elders died several weeks ago, "It is very important Zack. I'll be here with her until you return."

Dread creeping up in his gut and the urge to flee with Cloud made his body jerk. Stopping himself, he swallowed down his fear and reigned in his trembling muscles and began the trek to Bugenhagen without another word to the young dark-haired woman.

Getting close to the top of the rope ladder, he heard what he thought was yelling. Quickening his climbing, he emerged to find a large cat-like creature attacking the first man to show him and Cloud any mercy since their capture. Not having his sword, he would have to resort to hand-to-hand combat. The red fur of the creature looked to be branded and tattooed; the tuft of fur at the tip of the tail emitted a bright red glow as though it were on fire. Curiously, its light smoldered as though it were a torch.

Leaping from the rope ladder, he ran and tackled the large man sized monster. Together they rolled across the ground, both fighting for dominance. From behind the red beast, Zack had his arm around its neck as he pulled to choke the air from it. With a growl, the beast jerked its head and bucked up and then back down, trying to throw the large man from its back.

Able to whip around, the creature threw Zack off and a puff of dust billowed up as the man went skidding across the hard dirt.

A battle of sight, across from each other, they stared at one another, waiting for the other to attack, waiting for an opportune moment to strike out. Crouching at the waist, Zack held his hands out in front of him, the mako illuminated his eyes as he felt the rush of strength envelope his muscles. Baring his teeth, his instinct kicked in to protect those he loved, Cloud, Bugenhagen and the villagers that he had grown to care for and he would be damned if he let some random monster come in and hurt anyone that he once silently vowed to protect.

Stepping to the side, his movement was mirrored by the beast as they stayed several feet apart.

Without taking his eyes from his embattled nemesis, Zack spoke to the old man, "Stay back, I'll take care of this."

Having battled several monsters that wandered into the village, Zack felt confident that not only had he never seen one like this before, but that through its one good eye, he could see intelligence that was not in other wild creatures. While circling around again, he got in front of Bugenhagen and when the animal twisted to take another step to the side, it growled and jumped for the brunette.

Using his Soldier enhancements, Zack bent at his knees and leapt forward and met the charging red colored beast. The front paws dug in to the tanned skin on Zack's shoulders as the sharp fangs went for his tightened neck. Throwing his forearm forward, the former Soldier blocked the teeth from clamping down in his neck, but they punctured the skin on his forearm instead. Blood trickled down as Zack clenched his teeth and grunted at the pain. Overly powerful back legs pushed the man backward and tripped him, landing Zack on his back with the angry, thrashing brute on top of him.

Releasing a loud grunt of dominance and control, Zack punched the animal in the face, allowing his arm to be freed from the jaws. Kicking out, he flipped out from underneath the animal, but before it could do anything else, Zack took the offensive and flipped up and over the creature and grabbed it by the shoulders and neck and threw it across the yard and into the side of the house. With a shake of its head, the beast stood up, ready to strike again.

"Enough!"

Both turning to Bugenhagen, they watched in fascination, but Zack spoke, "But sir-"

"Hush Zack," With a flinch, the brunette stood straight and questioned silently, but dared not say anything while the old man appeared to still have something to say, "Zack, this is Nanaki, my grandson."

"But-" Zack blinked and turned the image of the red creature that stood in front of him over as he tried to process what the old man said.

"Grandfather, I seriously doubt that this man will listen."

Shocked, Zack's head tilted to the side as his surprise lifted his eyebrows, "It talked!"

"I am not an _it_!" Turning to Bugenhagen, Nanaki spoke about Zack like the taste of his words were revolting, "I have run into men like him, I have fought men like him, Shinra, and they do not listen. They do not hear nor do they care."

"Hey! Wait just one damn minute! I'm not with Shinra, I don't want to be with Shinra and I don't plan on joining Shinra again within the rest of my lifetime, or the next, so you can shove that bullshit up your furry ass!"

Scowling and baring his teeth, the beast snarled, "Once with Shinra, always with Shinra."

Jumping forward, Zack attacked again with an anger and hatred for the electric company empire he once held in such high esteem. It was stolen, his dreams he held on to as a young man, of being a hero, of having, living and following Soldier honor. Shinra and scientists like Hojo had destroyed everything that was at one time a wonderful aspiration to a young idealistic man.

It had turned a great man, Angeal, into a shell of his once distinctive and loving personality. Shinra turned him into a monster, less than human. Shinra built up the Firsts and made them great but at what cost? Money? Power?

Experiments, was all they were, birthed for convenience and experimentation to conquer lesser peoples, to help line the pockets of greedy men.

Genesis, the same as Angeal, grew up thinking he was unique, not an aberration of some man's self-pride. Both wanting to be heroes and save the world, save the people, not to become what they fought every day, monstrosities of science.

Even Sephiroth, not knowing where or why he was there, only knowing what Shinra wanted him to know until he was driven mad by the truth. The truth that, he too, was an abomination, but worse, he was once human and turned into a hybrid of part human and part alien. No home to speak of, no real mother, and his father, the one to create him out of self-service and in the name of scientific advancement, not love.

The hell, the torture that he and Cloud endured, just another attempt at Hojo's and Shinra's power to usurp the innocent lives of a few, to change them into something other than what they were meant to be at birth. His child, now in danger, not really knowing what the mad scientist did to the baby before they were able to escape, the new life that formed in the woman Hojo intended to use only as an incubator for something other worldly. All the emotions clashed and Zack felt his muscles increase in size, his eyes burned from the extra mako that flowed, and he used what he now hated, to his advantage. With Soldier speed and accuracy, he grabbed the red beast and together they tumbled over and over, ever closer to the edge of the cliff face.

"Zackary!" The old man's voice pierced the large Soldier's anger, "Nanaki!"

Holding the beast by the throat, Zack growled in feral fury, his heart listened to the man's voice call to him and he stopped squeezing, but did not let go.

Nanaki's teeth dripped with saliva as he too fought for control of his inner animal. Zack could see the flash of savagery leave the beast's eye that concentrated its gaze at his face. Facing each other, they both stared, never leaving or breaking that look as they listened to the wise man's words.

"Zack, Nanaki, both of you have reasons to hate Shinra. Both of you have been subjected to various aspects of what that company is capable of, there is no reason for you to fight with each other."

Feeling a hand softly squeeze his shoulder, Zack slowly moved away from the creature in his grasp, but before fully letting go, Zack angrily spit out, as his eyes glistened with tears, "I am NOT Shinra anymore!"


	19. Shinra Express

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Gi Spectres, Sneaky Steps, Stingers and Hegs, if you've played the game, these are the monsters that are in the cave under Cosmo Canyon, if I remember correctly. It has been a while since I played, but I tried to put the monsters in the right place this time. Don't forget to send me your choices of baby names!

"Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air." –Johann C. F. von Schiller

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 19

~Shinra Express~

"Alright, both of you just sit down and listen."

Bugenhagen moved around the room gathering various items including bandages and healing salve. Sitting down, Zack took a drink of the water from the glass that was pushed into his hand as he closely watched the four-legged, red creature across the room. Equally, Nanaki studied him. Of all the things to throw his way, Gaia sure kept him on his toes.

"Zack, I called you up here because there is information that Nanaki has that affects you and Cloud."

Diverting his eyes from the sight across from him, he looked to Bugenhagen. This didn't sound good but if it were important enough for the old man to behave so solemnly, then he couldn't afford not to listen.

"Nanaki, tell him what you told me."

Shooting a glare at the former Soldier, the cat-like creature remained silent until Bugenhagen nudged him, "I ran into a Shinra patrol of infantry and a few Turks." Looking back at his Grandfather, he continued, "I was in hiding, so they didn't see me, but one of the Turks relayed orders to the soldiers that they were to investigate Cosmo Canyon and keep it occupied until they found the whereabouts of the escaped specimens."

There was that sinking feeling; that shot of pain right through his gut. Shinra was coming back here and there was no telling what they would do and who they would harm. Leaning forward, Zack raked his hands through his hair, ignoring the sting of his wounds on his arms and shoulders as the blood dried and his cuts mended slowly. Letting out a sigh, he fought back his tears as he asked, "How long do I have until they get here?"

"The patrol I left was at least two days away, on foot. But taking into account that they are using transportation, they could be here as early as tomorrow morning."

"Morning?!" Nausea waved over him as the panic attack slipped past his defenses and he began shaking uncontrollably.

With a curt nod, Nanaki answered him, but then countered with a question, "I take it that you are one of the specimens?"

Wild eyed, Zack looked up and wiped at his face. They were always going to be specimens. A soft touch of a hand on his shoulder caused him to jerk away. Again, he put innocent people in jeopardy, and this village was going to burn for his stupidity and weakness, "I'll gather what I can and we will leave immediately."

"Zackary, before you go, I have something to tell you."

There were those words again, only not coming from Harding. Last time he refused to listen and he could have gotten Cloud killed. This time, he was going to listen.

"Up in the mountains, there is a forest; around here we call it the Frog Forest. There was a man who used to live there many years ago before he died. He did research on the naturally strange properties of the indigenous creatures, so there is a house there somewhere. No one goes there because it is so dangerous, and Shinra doesn't because there is no mako."

Zack's shocked look got a giggle from the old man, "You still want to help us?"

"Yes Zackary. Why wouldn't I? You have done nothing to call for me to act otherwise." Handing the larger man a wet washcloth, Bugenhagen finished, "Nanaki will go with you, he is also wanted by Shinra since he is the last known of his species. He also knows the terrain and working together, you can keep one another safe and out of Hojo's hands."

"It's up in the mountains?"

Finally speaking without malice in his voice directed at Zack, Nanaki said, "On the top of the plateau, to be more specific."

Putting his glass of water aside, "How will I get Cloud on top of a plateau? I can't fly and she can't exactly climb."

"I know a way up, it is difficult, in that there is no doubt, but with the help of a chocobo, maybe you can get your woman up there safely."

"How will Cloud get her medicine? I mean it isn't like the merchants can bring it to us?"

Opening the door, Bugenhagen motioned for Zack to leave as he said, "Let me worry about that. I will make sure that she is able to get it."

Standing and feeling awkward, he wiped his hands on his pants. Glancing from Nanaki to Bugenhagen, he started for the door when Nanaki said, "I will meet you down by the entrance to the caves and the stables."

Nodding, Zack took his leave and as he got further from Bugenhagen, the quicker he moved. No one said anything to him, just moved out of his way as if knowing what was happening. Perhaps they did, but he couldn't afford to let his emotions for them cloud his judgement and urgency in the matter of his and Cloud's safety.

Bursting through the door to his home, Sharna stood in the middle of the living room holding a small bag. Another larger bag was on the floor next to her feet as Cloud sat, leaning over on the arm of the couch, "I've got you a surplus of Cloud's medicine in this bag," she said, holding up the smaller bag, "It will last for a little while until I can get more." Indicating the larger bag, the young woman added, "I packed all of her clothing and sandals in here, with her hair brush and ribbons." Tears filled her deep brown eyes as she continued, "Don't forget to watch her vitals and any contractions, there are a few medical supplies, she doesn't have but about another month before the baby comes."

Stepping forward, Zack embraced the young woman, "Thank you." She nodded her head as her face remained buried in his chest.

After a long few seconds, she stepped back and sniffed, "I'll let you get packed now, you don't have much time."

"Right; we're gonna miss you," Zack stepped aside and she walked to the door, "Thanks for everything."

With a smile that was more sadness than anything, she turned and left. Heading into the bedroom, he grabbed the other large bag and dumped his things in it, not wanting to leave anything for the villagers to have to explain away.

"Well Chocobo, it was bound to happen sooner or later. At least we got a heads up before they just showed up at our doorstep." Shouldering the bags, he pulled Cloud up to standing, "Let's go, a big furry cat-thing is waiting and he is going to take us somewhere away from here." Helping her out the door, he added, "We don't want the village to suffer, so we can't stay."

Getting Cloud down to the stables, Zack noticed that they were alone, no Nanaki. Walking with the blond down to the chocobo's pin, he addressed the chocobo and smiled tightly, "Hey Marshy. This is Cloud," Giving a small squeeze to her waist, Zack leaned down to the side of Cloud's face, "This is Marshmallow, but I just call her Marshy." Sitting Cloud down, he began harnessing the chocobo and spoke, "See Marshy, I told you her hair looked like a chocobo tail."

"Do you always talk to chocobos?" Turning quickly, Zack noticed it was Nanaki, "I suppose that as long as you don't expect them to talk back…"

With a half grin, Zack sneered, "Says the talking cat."

A growl accompanied the remark, "Come on now Shinra, your friends will be here soon enough."

"You can call me Zack instead of Shinra," Turning to leave, Nanaki broke eye contact and didn't look back. Without saying anything else, Zack hooked up the trailer, spread out a blanket and lay Cloud down in it. Strapping his sword to his back and tucking the bags on either side of her, he took the chocobo's reins and they began walking to the old part of the caves.

"Grandfather said he would meet us near the entrance to the closed off part of the caves. No one has been there in many years, but he says that this is a quicker way that will take us directly to the pass."

While walking and watching the red beast in front of him, he began to wonder what would be different if he hadn't been so gravely injured by Sephiroth. How would their lives be different if he and Cloud were not captured by Hojo? Becoming hypnotized by the swaying glow of the fiery tail, the former Soldier failed to see him stop, and almost ran him over.

Bugenhagen spoke, interrupting the stare-down as they both glowered at one another, "You must work together, so finding a common ground is essential." Looking back and forth between them, the old man sighed and continued, "It is very dangerous through here, so you must stay vigilant."

Nodding, Nanaki said, "Yes Grandfather."

Turning and opening a large canister, Bugenhagen hit a button on a device that looked to hover over the opening. A loud click and a metal door swung open. The smell of stale air rushed into the area. Marshmallow reared back, not wanting to go any further, but with Zack's insistence, she moved forward slowly.

Passing through the doorway, it felt like he stepped back in time, a violent period of unrest. Bugenhagen's voice broke through, "Move quickly, don't linger in one area for too long. The sooner you get to the other side, the sooner you can get to the forest. Be careful, both of you."

Turning their backs to the doorway, Bugenhagen slid the door closed and the click of the latch echoed in the empty space. Clearing his throat, Zack tried lightening the heavy mood, "I always wondered what was on the other side of that door, but I think that I'm over that now."

Taking several tentative steps forward, Nanaki half-heartedly offered, "You can always go back."

He stared straight ahead, letting his enhanced vision get used to the darkness, his thoughts went to Hojo and Zack countered, stating flatly, "I like the alternative less."

Without moving any farther, Nanaki's voice fell, "I concur."

Silently moving again, they fought through the first wave of Gi Spectres, Hegs and Sneaky Steps, getting them closer to the exit. Curiously, Nanaki seemed to have a look of question on his face, his eye appeared to water as he spoke, "Why are GI Spectres here? Grandfather never said anything about this."

"What is going on?"

Shaking his head, Nanaki began walking again, "Nothing, nevermind."

Shrugging his shoulders, he wanted to ask about it, but figured that Nanaki didn't want to talk about it with the way he just walked off. Having just met, Zack didn't blame him for keeping to himself, but the lack of conversation was beginning to get to him so after a while and many battles later, Zack commented, "Bugenhagen didn't say that this place was a maze," Zack wiped some blood from his sword on the side of the Stinger his had just slain and turned to meet the gaze of his traveling companion, "You wouldn't happen to know where we're going would you?"

Shaking the fur on his back, Nanaki answered, "I dare to say this at the cost of many future remarks from you, but I can get us through... I can smell the exit."

Harnessing his sword again, the former Soldier tilted his head in affection, "Ah, that's so sweet that you were thinking of me." With a quiet growl, Nanaki turned and continued to walk through the cave system when Zack followed, pulling the chocobo's reins, he asked hoping for any kind of response, "So do you have a nickname?"

"No."

"Do you mind if I give you one?"

"Yes."

Completely ignoring him, Zack began, "How about Kitty?"

"No."

"What about Fluffy?"

"No."

Furrowing his eyebrows, Zack wanted to lighten the mood, but his companion was making it difficult so he offered a new suggestion, "Sour Puss?"

With a low growl, Nanaki bristled, "No."

"Let's see, there has to be something-"

Turning on the large man behind him, Nanaki eyed him viciously, "My name is Nanaki, and that is what you are going to call me. There will be no nickname for me … _Shinra_."

Not wanting to be called "Shinra" Zack decided to drop it. He hated the silence. Glancing back at Cloud, she looked around as they worked and fought their way to the back of the caves. Not really having time to watch her like he wanted to, he diligently kept the chocobo on the path as he dodged the attacks of various monsters.

"Are we there yet?"

Stopping in his tracks, Nanaki turned slowly toward the grinning former Soldier, "Do you take any of this seriously?"

Smile dropping from his face, that question did him in, "Of course! Why else would I be here, with Cloud, walking through a monster infested cave with a talking kitty cat-dog thing!"

"I suggest that for the rest of this trip, you stay quiet, otherwise, you are liable to find it very difficult to talk with no vocal cords."

Flinching, Zack cringed at the thought of Hojo's many threats of the same thing. Lowering his eyes, he thought of Cloud and how she needed him for everything. Glancing back, he watched her for a moment and turned back to Nanaki, "Sorry... I just hate the quiet."

For the first time since they met, Nanaki looked like he might actually break out in a smile, "I can tell, but for now, let's just stay quiet until we get to the pass. We don't want to attract unwanted attention from the inhabitants of this cave."

Zack hated to admit it, but he needed Nanaki's help and if he didn't do as he asked, the red beast might leave them. Watching Nanaki turn and begin walking again, Zack quickly added, "Okay Red, I'll save it up for when we get out of here."


	20. Slipping Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in this chapter is "Rhythm of the Night" by DeBarge. For some reason, this is the song I pictured for this flashback scene, it just fits. With Zack trying to get Cloud to loosen up, this song just seems like a song that he would like to dance to.

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them." –Henry David Thoreau

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 20

~Slipping Away~

Running the last several yards, they dove for the exit while Zack grabbed at the back of the trailer, trying to stop the runaway chocobo. The last attack of a Stinger got the bird spooked and she took off while still pulling Zack's precious cargo uncontrollably toward a bottomless precipice; there was no way he would let it go.

"Stop Marshy!"

There were several times in his life that the proverbial "life flashing before his eyes" had happened. There was the time when he was a kid and he ran afoul of a Touch Me and he had to run for his life to get home to get a remedy from his mom before he got eaten. Then there was the time when he first joined Soldier, one of his first missions, a Hell House attacked him down in the slums, and then the time he fell from the plate and through the church roof when he had refused to fight Angeal.

This time however, it was Cloud's life that flashed for him. All the times she laughed, cried, got angry, got injured, when she saved him from Sephiroth and their first "date" went flooding through his mind...

_Getting off the train, it was a completely different world down in the slums. They hadn't really gotten a chance to talk on the train because of all the different security checks and people moving around, but he was fine with just watching the wonder in her eyes as she interacted with the strangers._

_That night, she left her hair down, loose around her shoulders. Her white shirt buttoned up just above her breasts, and silver threading intertwined within the material. Shifting in her seat, her tight jeans hugged the curve of her legs down to her military issued boots, he let an endearing smile show at the fact that she wore her combat boots._

_It was her curiosity; purity in its rarest form, her aura was flawless. She shined from the inside out, like a star born of love. Skin the perfect alabaster and hair the color of golden rays of sun in the summer time, she was genuine and natural. The deep cobalt blue of her eyes pierced the toughest exterior and he knew right then, that he wanted her for himself._

_Exiting the train, unconsciously he grabbed her hand to lead her down the loading platform, but he was unable to hide the chills of excitement ripple through his body._

_Walking through the entrance of the bar, he urged, "Come on, this place is great." Watching the upturned lip from the blond made him laugh, but there was no way he was going to let her go without at least one dance._

_Pulling on his arm, she leaned close to his ear and spoke over the loud music, "Really? This place is horrible."_

_Waving his hand, he dismissed, "I thought that at first too, but you get used to it." Cloud was right, the place was a dive. Dry rotted boards served as a bar, while the dance floor was covered in dust and dirt, but the overall smell was fantastic. The brisk smell of food cooking in the kitchen and a few patrons sat on mismatched stools at the bar eating their BBQ and drinking their beer from mismatched glasses._

_The packed bar was the most popular in sector 7, and it played host to a variety of people. Everyone from Shinra executives to the poorest slob that the slums could come up with paid their way in to the "7_ _th_ _Heaven."_

_Taking her by the hand, he pulled her through the weekend crowd up to the bar, "So what do you want to drink?" Getting this close to her was a treat, she smelled of wildflowers blooming in Gongaga, sweet honey nectar with bees circling flowers in a variety of colors. A small wisp of her hair carried by a light indoor breeze tickled his nose as he unconsciously inhaled her scent._

_Turning to answer his question, her nose bumped into his and her face blossomed into a beautiful red blush, "-I" backing away, she shook her head, "I guess just a water."_

" _Oh come on, live a little," Pulling closer to her ear again, he suggested, "They have some great regional drinks here, even from Nibelheim, that's where you're from right?"_

_Yelling louder than necessary, she answered, "I never told you where I was from."_

_At her exclamation, a few patrons turned to see what was happening. Realizing his mistake, she actually never did tell him, but he had looked her up after they first met. Angeal still didn't know that he had used his name for the information, but what else could he do? Angeal was sure to understand once he met her himself. Until then, he had a little mess to clean up._

" _Uh, sure you did, when we first met, didn't you?" Feeling like he could pass it off because of it being so long ago, he hoped that she would just drop it._

_Shaking her head again, she furrowed her eyebrows and said, "I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want anyone to know on purpose, not even my roommates."_

_Rubbing the back of his neck, he was stuck, she caught him and the only thing he could do was fess up, "Okay, you got me. I looked you up because-"_

_Turning to leave, he heard her say, "-I don't believe this…"_

_Grabbing her wrist, he yanked her around to face him. With the momentum and people crowded around, they got pushed closer together, much closer than she felt comfortable with anymore. Trying to recover, he pleaded, "Look, I'm sorry, but you are just so- so-," What did he want to say? Beautiful, charming, fantastic, captivating, sexy, what could he say to make her stay?_

" _Interesting."_

_Raising her eyebrows, she asked in a slightly annoyed tone, "Interesting?"_

_Internally he kicked himself. 'Interesting? What kind of response is that?' Externally, he slid his hand down his face, but didn't let go of her wrist in his other hand, "Come on, let's just have fun tonight and we can get to know each other the old-fashioned way, okay?"_

_Reluctantly, she sighed, "Fine."_

" _Stay right here, I'll get the drinks," Dropping her wrist, he tilted his head down to make eye contact with her, "Stay." Not getting a response, he smiled and pointed at the ground with purpose, "Stay. Right. Here."_

_Letting a corner of her mouth curl up before she caught herself and recovered, she stated firmly, "I'm thirsty."_

" _Yes, ma'am," Getting to the bar and getting their drinks, he turned to walk back when he spotted a guy talking to her. A flush of anger went through him, a blush of jealous rage, and his heart rate sped up as he watched the guy grab her upper arm, trying to pull her to the dance floor. Taking a deep breath, everything slowed down, he blinked and the rest of the world fell away and as he exhaled, his world flipped inside out._

_With speed that he had witnessed only with new Soldiers, she grabbed the guy's wrist with her free hand and before Zack could fully register what was happening, she had the guy in a headlock, his arm locked behind him. Somehow, unknowingly, Zack had walked over to the scene. Gazing appreciatively in her eyes, keeping that needed eye contact with her, he dreamily addressed the guy on his knees, wrapped in the tight hold, "I don't think she wants to dance dude."_

_For an eternity, but not nearly long enough for him, they stood there, and Zack was unable to tear his eyes from her gentle face. His whole life, he had always been under the impression that he had to be the protector, to save the girl, but here was an entirely different situation. He just thought that he wanted to have a girl, not necessarily weak, but one who needed him to be strong all the time. The type of girl who was a constant ego boost, one that would need him for everything, but now, here he was, holding two drinks, and staring at a petite and delicate flower who was far more than what she appeared, he felt a new type of freedom in his heart._

_In a shameless and almost breathless voice, Zack's surprise was not hidden in his loud whisper, "Wow..."_

_When the bouncers tapped her on the shoulder, she released the almost unconscious man and they drug him out the door. Still holding on to the drinks, he just couldn't tear his eyes from her slight form as she straightened herself up and turned to look at him, "Is that my drink?"_

_Blinking and breaking the spell, her snapping fingers brought him back to the loud music and crowded bar, "Oh! Uh, yeah, here."_

" _Thanks," Taking the bottle, she took a tentative sip and then raised her eyebrows at him, questioning, "Why are you staring at me?"_

_Simple words, nothing fancy, just words, "What was that?"_

" _You've never seen a man in a headlock before?"_

_Shaking his head, he tried to regain some of his composure that she seemed to devour with a simple movement of her hand to her hair, "Well, yes. I mean, you've already learned that in training?"_

" _I have been gearing up for Soldier candidacy. I've already sent in my request form to Director Lazard."_

_With a wide grin, he breathed out, "Yeah, I remember, I just wasn't expecting that from you…" Tilting her head, she dangerously eyed him, so he quickly added, "Yet."_

_As if saving his ass, a song came across the speakers that had one of those beats that just made your body move on its own. Grabbing her drink and setting them down on a nearby table, he took her by the hand then quickly dropped it, "You're not going to hurt me are you?"_

_There was that blush, flushing across her cheeks in a crimson wash, "No." Taking her hand again and starting for the dance floor, she yanked it away from him, "No, I don't want to dance."_

_Putting himself between her and the music, he began to slowly back up toward the crowded dance floor, all the while shaking his hips and shoulders to the beat of the exciting song. Staring at her, he smirked, "Okay, you don't have to dance; you can just watch me have fun." Calling from the middle of the crowd, he spotted her watching him, "I'll just be the only one having any fun… all by myself." Getting into the song, he lost himself in the lip-buzzing lyrics, the body-banging beat and spirit-thumping energy of the crowd. He closed his eyes and danced blindly as he saw her in his mind's eye, like a fresh morning rain, smiling shyly at him._

_Feeling a tap on his shoulder, he opened his eyes and turned to see her grinning at him, "I thought you were going to have fun all by yourself before I ran into you at the store."_

_Running his arms in front of his chest like a water-wheel, he stepped backwards as he danced around her, "Loosen up, life doesn't get much better than this."_

_Glancing around at everyone, she reluctantly began to move slowly, embarrassed. Making another circle around her, he bumped his hip into her rear and she jerked forward a step with the force of the hit. Turning on him, she glared. Without missing a beat, Zack tipped his upper body forward and smiled at her as he continued to shake his hips to the beat, shimmy his shoulders and sing with the chorus, "To the beat of the rhythm of the night. Dance until morning light, forget about the worries on your mind, you can leave them all behind!"_

_Again, she glanced around and moved with hesitancy until he again bumped her with his hip. Knocking her into a girl across from her, she blushed brightly when she again turned on him. Fearlessly, he smirked at her as he turned and danced in place. Crossing her arms, she let her glare soften when he began dancing in front of her, again bumping her with his elbow as he sang "Tonight is gonna be a night like you've never known. We're gonna have a good time the whole night long, oh!"_

_Surprising him, she reached up to her hair; grabbed it and quickly tied it loosely at the base of her neck. When she finally began to dance, she tried to match him move for move, starting out competitively. Together they danced and before Zack knew what happened, he was watching her whip her hair around and back as she shimmied and shook in fun, for what looked like the first time in her life._

_The sweat on her temples trapped strands of hair and the gleam in her eyes when she let loose, she laughed in what sounded like triumph. Triumph over something that had held her back for so long, something that she hadn't been able to let go of and for some reason Zack was able to help her with that._

_After closing time, Zack walked her back to the barracks; she bounced in place, "Thanks Zack. I really had fun."_

_Placing his hand on her lower back, he led her to the door and moved closer. Gaia, he wanted to kiss her, her inner-light that was bright before, was a blazing bonfire now and he wanted a taste of that joy._

_A hand on his chest stopped him just short of her lips, "Wait."_

_Not moving back, he asked in a quiet whisper, "What's the matter?"_

" _Um, I'm not here for that."_

_Standing up straight, he furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"_

" _I don't want anything like this, I just- I just want to be a Soldier. That is why I'm here," Stepping back, she lowered her eyes, "I'm sorry if you thought something else."_

" _It's okay," He said, but it wasn't okay. Didn't she see what she did to him? Swallowing down his ego, he added, "I understand, I mean that is why we're all here, right?"_

" _Good, I'm glad you understand," Sticking out her hand, he looked down at it sorrowfully as she waited for him to take it. When he eventually took it, she smiled and asked, "Friends?" With a firm shake of her hand, he hesitantly nodded in affirmative then she released his hand and walked through the doors; and again, she slipped away through his fingers.  
_

That was the first time he felt that he might love her and watching her walk away that night might have been painful then, but now, this was beating that hands down; the agony of watching the woman he loved being pulled, dangerously fast, in a trailer, pulled by an out-of-control chocobo.

"Stop!"

Barely seeing that Nanaki ran ahead of the chocobo, pacing it and trying to get her to slow, Zack held on and pulled himself up into the trailer. Feet on either side of Cloud, the former Soldier grabbed at the reins and when the wheels hit a large rock, he fell forward, tossed around like popcorn in a popper. A handful of feathers in one hand, held him from falling over the front of the trailer and getting run over. The red dirt passed at an alarming speed, spitting up in his face.

Bracing with his other hand on the side of the trailer, he had to make a choice, fall back on Cloud and maybe hurt her, or not do it and get both of them killed. Pulling on the feathers, he made that split second decision and jerked himself up and over on to Cloud's head and chest. Releasing the handful of feathers that he pulled from the hide of the giant bird, the white feathers blew back on the breeze as he just as quickly moved from her chest and grabbed at the reins again.

"Damn it bird, stop!"

Getting a tentative grip on one side of the reins, he pulled and the bird turned and began to slow. Nanaki ran her down and growled until she finally stopped. Sighing, he relaxed and looked down, there was a boot print on his angel's shoulder, but otherwise looked unharmed. Trying to get his breathing under control, he looked at Nanaki, "Thanks."

Nervously shifting, Nanaki said, "We really should get moving, we were in the caves for far longer than I thought we would be."

Wondering what was making his companion nervous, he held his breath and looked around for the first time since emerging from the caves and he saw that the sun was cresting on the horizon.


	21. Traveling the Hard Way

"Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving." –Dennis Waitley

To You I Give My Heart

Chapter 21

~Traveling the Hard Way~

Muttering under his breath, Zack expressed his alarm, "Holy shit…"

"Let's go, we must at least get to some trees that are at the base of the plateau," Nanaki started a brisk pace urging Zack along.

As they walked along the edge of the precipice, Zack asked, "Where can we cross this?"

"There used to be a bridge, but it seems that it either collapsed from age or it had help from the military," Looking over his shoulder, Nanaki said, "There should be a way across closer to a large grouping of trees that is at the foot of the plateau."

Keeping up their pace, they began to unconsciously increase their speed. Zack looked over his shoulder at the back of the village, he saw nothing out of the ordinary. They were far enough away that he was unable to see anyone, but he could make out smoke rising from the chimneys far off in the distance and with his enhanced hearing, he heard nothing unusual.

When Nanaki stopped, Zack questioned, "What's up Red?"

Lowly, almost in a growl, he said, "Shinra."

"Already? I don't hear them," Looking around nervously, Zack strained to hear, see or smell anything, but he felt blind.

"I can feel the vibration that large numbers of them gathered together cause the planet, they are closer than I am comfortable to admit," Turning to face Zack, he said, "We must run, the entrance to a tree line is a few miles from here."

Petting the towering white chocobo, Zack asked her, "Well Marshy, can you carry me and pull the trailer?"

Bouncing and flapping her wings, she let out a quiet, "Wark."

"I suspect, since she is still quite young, that she will be able to carry you for a short while. At least until we can put some distance between us and the village," Nanaki walked around the back of the trailer, "Your woman should be covered, her yellow dress stands out and she needs to be secured better back here, but do it quickly."

Without a second thought, Zack covered her with the blanket that she once was laying on and placed one of the softer bags under her knees, "There, that should be a little more comfortable."

"Zackary, we must go!"

Glancing around, he now heard heavy military transports off in the distance, "Gaia-damn it!" Mounting the chocobo, he took the reins, "Come on Marshy, go!" The pounding in his heart was hard enough that he thought for sure that it would not only leap from his chest, but that it could be heard by anyone in the vicinity. The chocobo took off and Zack guided her to follow his red traveling companion, the wind rushed through his hair and threatened to deafen him along with the blood rushing through his veins.

Nanaki gained speed and Zack tried to keep up, but although his mount was at a disadvantage with the extra weight, the snow-white chocobo kept up a steady pace. A tree line to a smaller area came into view as they turned slightly away from their final destination, trying to make it to the small area, hoping for some cover. Driving the over-sized bird for over two miles non-stop proved to be too much for her and about half a mile from the trees, she slowed.

"Come on Marshy, just a little further!" Zack pleaded with his mount, patting her along the base of her neck, "You can do it!" Ducking her head slightly, she surged forward, but was still slowing as she fought to maintain her pace.

Slowing down to run alongside Zack, Nanaki, asked, "Is she slowing?"

"Yeah, I'm going to have to get off, maybe she can make it without my extra weight."

"Will you be able to run it?"

"I'm a little out of shape, so I guess we will find out," Bringing Marshmallow to a stop, he slid off and patted her as she panted and dipped her head, "You did good Marshy. I'll run beside you, can you keep up with me?"

Raising her head a little, she cuddled her forehead in his neck and let out a breathless, "Wark."

"Good girl," Taking the reins, he pulled, "Come on, just a little bit more and we can stop for a while." Nanaki took off in a run with Zack starting out slowly, while urging the large bird to follow him.

Thinking back to his training, he remembered all the times that he ran. He ran more than he ever thought possible, mainly because he was in trouble for one thing or another. Angeal made sure that he ran all the laps that was doled out to him, and it was usually a hundred at a time. At least once a week he had to run those extra laps because of his stupidity and ease of getting himself into trouble for one thing or another. That was one thing that he could always count on in himself, his ability to get himself into trouble.

It was never anything bad, just him trying to have fun and without thinking too far into the future. His mother always said he had a knack for attracting that kind of attention. Inevitably, though, he would get his assigned number of laps to run and he would find his mind wandering, making time pass by. His inability to stay focused on one thing for very long was really rather convenient, because before he knew what happened, he was finished with his laps and he was able to move on with the rest of his day or night or whatever it happened to be.

This time was no different, because the tree-line was about half a mile away and that is when he stupidly took his focus away from his musings and brought it to his actual running, causing him to trip on a large rock that stuck out of the ground at an odd angle, "Son of a-!"

Instinctively, he tucked his arms into his chest and twisted so that he rolled, however, when he released the reins, the chocobo jerked to keep from running him over. Seeing one of the wheels of the trailer heading for his neck, he pulled himself into a ball and covered his head with his hands and arms. Veering to the right, the chocobo again ran off, parallel with the outer tree line, away from their destination.

A blur of red fur shot in front of his eyes, heading straight for the runaway chocobo. Jumping to his feet, Zack's heart began to sink as he started running after the chocobo while he mumbled angrily, "Not again!" If things weren't so serious, he would have thought this a comedy of errors. Perhaps in Gaia's boredom, she was just trying to have a little fun with them, but then the chocobo slowed when she caught sight of some greens growing along one side of her wild path.

Out of breath, Zack reached the feeding chocobo, checking on Cloud as he passed the trailer. The blond appeared to just be sleeping and in a way he was strangely thankful that she was not conscious right then.

Nanaki snorted in irritation as he turned to head back toward their previous direction, "Come on, we are almost there, if you can make it there before the entire Shinra army is upon us."

Taking the reins, Zack pulled on the chocobo in a bit of frustration, "Come on, you can eat when we get to the trees, I'm sure that there are more greens there." Reluctantly, the bird followed as Zack again began to run back toward to the trees.

Once they were under the canopy of leaves, they relaxed, but just a little. Taking out the canteens, Zack took a drink and offered some to Nanaki as he asked, "Do you think we will make it to the Frog Forest tonight, or will we have to camp?"

"I believe we can make it tonight or by morning at the latest," Sparing an incredulous eye to the brunette, Nanaki's tone was slightly mocking, "That is if you are quite finished playing around with our lives."

"Hey, that rock came out of nowhere!" Slipping his hand under Cloud's head, he lifted her gently and placed the opening of the canteen to her lips as he spoke to their nervous four-legged companion, Zack's tone turned sour, "I didn't do it on purpose."

"I would like to get there tonight if possible, that is all I'm trying to say," Nanaki sat as he tilted his head, listening, "I do not hear anything right now, so it should be safe to at least check out the area for any foot patrols and head to the trail."

Slowly, they made their way through the thick trees, almost to the place where they would have to start their climb. Feeling a strange sensation, Zack straightened, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end like they were being pulled. It was a somewhat familiar feeling, but he couldn't place it. Feeling a bit of déjà vu wrapped his brain, wanting to figure out what it was that was so intense about it.

Gently quickening his steps, he caught up to Nanaki and quietly conveyed his thoughts, "I think we are being watched."

Without breaking his stride Nanaki answered back, "I know."

Speaking lowly, Zack said, "It feels like I know who it is, but I'm not sure."

"Shinra?"

"Yes," Furrowing his eyebrows, he searched his feelings, used his enhancements to try to decipher the odd perception, "No."

"Which is it?"

"I don't know, I can't tell," He didn't feel like he was in immediately in danger, "I don't think it is anything to worry about… necessarily." The closer they got to their destination, the more the feeling faded, but it still stayed at the back of his mind.

It didn't take as long to climb to the top of the plateau as Zack thought that it would because Nanaki found a small covered natural path that shortened the trip. Stopping every few hundred feet, Zack made sure to cover their tracks as best as he could and before he knew it, they were standing on the edge of the Frog Forest.

The new morning light faded a little as they stepped foot in the dangerous territory and the thick trees that populated the dense forest. The monstrous trees held larger leaves that shaded the area under them, making it darker.

Luckily they didn't get too many monster attacks, so Zack allowed his gaze to study the odd forest. Large mushrooms grew near larger pink flowers that lay flat on the ground, "I may be mistaken, but do those flowers have spikes?"

"Yes, stay clear, they are traps."

As they passed one of the flowers, a large frog jumped out in front of them and startled and skittered away, right onto one of the flowers. With a quick snap, the flower shut itself up, trapping the frog in its petals. Zack could see the movement of the frog as it struggled to free itself, but the petals held strong. Large pods hung from some tree limbs, lids open, waiting for an unsuspecting bug or animal to come near it.

"Hey Red, this may be a stupid question, but do you know where this house is?"

"I should be able to find it."

"Can you smell it?"

"Yes, even though it has been here for many years, it still has a human smell to it. The problem that I am having is that the smell is blending with the smell of the forest, so it is making it difficult to tell which direction to go."

"Well as much as I like to just 'wander,' I am going to have to stop for a second," Patting the white feathers just above her wing, Zack dropped the reins.

Looking around to the former Soldier, Nanaki asked, "What for?"

Zack dead-panned, "My bladder doesn't have infinite capacity." After relieving himself and getting back to where Nanaki and Marshmallow waited, Zack noticed the far off look in Nanaki's eye, "You want to tell me what upset you back in the caves?"

Beginning to walk again, Nanaki spoke quietly with a sorrowful tone, "I said it was nothing."

"I saw when you froze up while I was fighting one of those huge freakishly large spiders. When you saw that statue that looked kind of like you; you looked… scared."

Picking up his pace, Nanaki's voice cracked, "Grandfather has many things to tell me." Following the glowing tail in front of him, Zack wanted to ask for more details, and he probably would have, but Nanaki spoke first, "There is the house up ahead."

The house was bigger than he thought that it would be, and it wasn't as run down as he thought either. In fact, it was well built with large grey stones and camouflaged by native green vines that grew freely across the outer walls. Zack approached and tapped the door open with the tip of his boot and the door swung open with a dull, rusty squeak. The smell, a mix of mildew and dead animals, flowed around him and he pictured what he could make of this new sanctuary, he flatly said, "Home sweet home."


	22. Weigh the Balance

Thanks to my wonderful beta SubZeroChimera!

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible." –Arthur C. Clarke

To You I Give My Heart

Chapter 22

~Weigh the Balance~

Cleaning up the old house took the rest of what they had left of the day of their arrival and the rest of the next day, but after everything got done, Zack was pleasantly surprised with the outcome. The two-bedroom house turned out as quite quaint, and full of research that he relocated to the small storage building behind the house. He moved his and Cloud's things into the largest bedroom that also had a small bathroom, Nanaki took the front room that had held the research, naming it his bedroom. Among the paperwork, files, boxes, samples of leaves, jars of preserved small wildlife, there was a couch and a large wooden desk.

The kitchen was quite impressive, in that it played host to several different types of insects that had once feasted, nested, bred and died on the remnants of food that apparently got pulled from the cabinets and refrigerator in raids from the larger wildlife. He would have to repair the door, as it hung loosely from one hinge, but there were tools neatly organized in the shed. A few broken windows patched and a couple of desiccated dead animal carcasses removed later, it was a home once again.

Nanaki went out to do a quick perimeter check and Zack worked on getting Cloud and himself cleaned up, "Tomorrow I'm going to try to go hunt a little, get some fresh meat, maybe start a little garden. You want to help?" Cloud's head lolled forward when he sat her up to take off her clothes, "I take that as a yes. Sharna put some seeds in the bag, don't know what they grow, but I guess we'll find out."

Pulling out some clean clothes and laying them to the side, he continued to talk, filling the silence that reminded him of his own memories too much, "Me and Nanaki were able to repair the well, and I got the generator going so we have running water and electricity, at least for the moment. So how about a nice bath?" When getting her undressed and down into the tub, Zack noticed that he could see the baby moving under her fair skin. Little knobs of hard appendages pushed out and rolled around, undulating in trying to turn over in her womb. Zack sat, mesmerized, and his hand found a place above Cloud's protruding belly button, a smile crossed his stressed face, soothing the hard lines.

Cloud's head lay to the side, cheek resting on her shoulder, as her eyes stared blankly down into the water. Just then, an especially hard kick from the baby shot a gasp and a giggle from the large brunette, "Hey now little guy, it's not time for you to come out yet." His voice dropped in sadness as the implications again settled in as he spoke, "I can't wait to meet you, but your mommy needs to wake up first, I know she'll want to meet you too…" Again, he became mesmerized by the baby, its movements slowed, as if hearing and understanding what Zack said.

Finishing her bath, drying her off and dressing her, Zack sat on the side of the bed, staring at his family.

Nanaki's voice echoed in the somewhat barren bedroom, he stood behind the former Soldier and watched the man's face change from smiling, to sadness and again into anger at what Hojo had done, "Zackary, we must talk, when ever you are finished."

Snapping from his trance, he nodded, "Yeah, okay. I'll meet you in the kitchen, I gotta start dinner anyway."

Dragging his feet, he went to the kitchen and started pulling things from one of the bags. He tried to occupy his mind with cooking some of the things that Sharna had packed, a few potatoes, dried meat, corn on the cob and wild mushrooms soon filling the repaired wooden kitchen prep table, "I'm starting a garden out back and going hunting tomorrow, do you have any idea what we could hunt for food around here?"

"According to the research that we found in the files, there are epiolnis that are apparently healthy and good to ingest."

Pulling out a fire materia, that he'd bartered from one of the travelling merchants, from his bracer, Zack lit the wood burning stove to start boiling the water, "That sounds good, I'll look at the pictures that the researcher guy took to make sure I don't come home with something poisonous." Popping a piece of raw potato in his mouth, he chewed around the question, "Now what did you want to talk about?"

"Grandfather told me of your woman's condition, that she is unable to wake," Zack shot a glare at him, knowing that his four-legged companion meant nothing by his statement, Nanaki continued, "For that reason, he gave me a book for you, in the improbability that you have to cut the baby out. I believe you humans call it a cesarean section."

Shaking his head in annoyance and denial, Zack harshly spoke, "No! She'll wake up before then."

"I am sure she will, but you should prepare, just in case the baby comes early, or if there are complications." Deep down Zack knew that Nanaki spoke logically, but he just couldn't bring himself to think about it. As if hearing his thoughts, Nanaki asked knowingly, "What is it that you are apprehensive about?"

Could he voice his feelings to a virtual stranger? Before he could debate anymore, his mouth said what his mind did not want to comprehend, "I can't hurt Cloud. I can't just cut her… open." Suddenly feeling nauseous, he gagged at the thought of causing her pain, possibly killing her. Never letting the thoughts get to that point before, he had never let it cross his mind that giving birth could kill her. Women died giving birth all the time, but if he had to actually cut her open, he could be increasing her chances of a death sentence even more, she needed a doctor.

Shaking his head at his own thought of taking her to a doctor, he audibly groaned. He didn't have a cure materia, and he quickly made a plan on the spot to try and find one as soon as possible. Raising his eyes to the one good eye of the four-legged creature in front of him, he said something that made him sick, "I can't do that to her… she needs a…doctor."

Eying the man, Nanaki sat and listened as Zack went on, letting loose of something that built up in his soul, quietly he choked though the words, almost as if he were reading it from a book, "Harding sh-should be here, he would know w-what to do."

Increasing his speed at cutting up the vegetables, tears threatened to stream down his face, as he yelled, "If it weren't for me she wouldn't be pregnant in the first place!" Taking in a loud breath, he slammed the knife down, jamming the tip into the tabletop, "She wouldn't have been captured by Hojo if I had been stronger!" Picking up the large metal pot in front of him, he flung it across the room, shattering a vase that had once held a large bouquet of plastic flowers. Leaning forward, his palms on the table, he panted out his quieting sobs of anger and frustration.

"Life is full of what-ifs," Nanaki blinked and sighed, causing the former Soldier to look up, "You can stand here and beat yourself up all you want, but breaking ugly vases and throwing our dinner on the floor is not going to fix Cloud - as she is now."

The storm in his violet eyes calmed as he strained a terse smile, "Sorry." Relenting, and making himself busy, he washed the potatoes that he had thrown and finished preparing dinner. Cloud ate well that night, she always did like stew. During their short walk, she even walked most of the way on her own, only needing Zack to keep her from running into things or falling off of the four stairs on the small porch.

It took almost a week for Zack to get through the book that Bugenhagen had sent with Nanaki for him. Mistakenly, he had read it before bed and with Cloud sleeping next to him, he would glance at her from time to time, trying to picture whether he would be able to deliver the baby by cesarean if necessary. Of course, nightmares about it plagued his nights and many times he woke up in a sweat after dreaming that Cloud bled to death while giving birth, and what made it worse was that she died without ever waking up.

In the morning, Cloud slept quietly next to him, he eased out of the bed. Dressing in some heavy jeans and his sleeveless black shirt, he laced up his boots and glanced over his shoulder at the blond in his bed. He couldn't help the feelings of love that swelled up in his heart, but fear bubbled and festered in the lingering wound that thoughts of Hojo always tore open again, it threatened to cover him, swallow his last remaining bit of humanity. Leaning over, he touched his lips to her warm cheek and let them linger longer than he usually did. She anchored him to sanity and he needed that bit of extra time, skin to skin, to pull himself back together.

Sitting back up and brushing some strands of blond hair back from her temple, his eyes traced the beautifully made soft lines of her jaw, high-set cheek bone, and the gentle curvature of the shell of her ear, "I'll see you in a bit, I've got to get some hunting done."

In the kitchen, he grabbed one of the horrendous cereal bars that the military once put in every field issued meal, not to mention that he and Cloud survived on them for months. They didn't taste bad, he just had trouble swallowing them do to the fact that he was terribly tired of eating them. With the cereal bar hanging from his lips, he grabbed his sword and addressed Nanaki as he read more of the books from the researcher, "Going hunting," was all he said as he exited.

Nanaki's distracted response, "Hmm… 'kay," Was what Zack heard as he shut the door. There was no need to worry, Nanaki would take care of Cloud and make sure that nothing tried to hurt her. Also, he had the advantage that if something happened, he could find Zack by smell. Although Zack's sense of smell, though enhanced, Nanaki still had a superior nose, which came in handy a few times.

Marshmallow roamed in her newly built pen and 'warked' when she saw her dark-haired master. Patting her side he soothed her with his stressed, but pleasant-sounding voice, "How are you today?" Reaching for her bucket, he filled it with greens. Happily, the chocobo ate with a hungry vigor that he felt in his own stomach, but he chewed the cereal bar and forcefully swallowed it down his throat.

Walking in a familiar military search pattern, Zack finally caught the noise of an epiolnis, which the researcher had so graciously recorded for later analysis. Hunching down, he waited for it to get closer and he would pounce, like the patient hunter that he wished he was. While waiting, the feeling of being watched came back, and from his lowered position, he glanced around, trying to see who, or what, it was. Panic stopped him short as he wondered if it was Shinra.

Just as quickly as the feeling started, it stopped. Completely confused and shaken, he failed to hear the animal he was hunting approach until it pecked him on the shoulder, startling him. When he jumped, the almost-relative to the chocobo ran and he ran after it, but lucked out when it clothes-lined itself on a draping vine. Quickly breaking its neck, he untangled it and hefted it up over his shoulders, hissing at the pain in the rising bruise where it had gotten him with its beak earlier.

Approaching the house, he noticed Nanaki sitting out on the small porch, reading, "Here's dinner."

Without looking up from the notes, Nanaki answered, "I'll skin it and clean it in a few minutes. Let me finish this one file."

Dropping the dead animal in front of his housemate, he shook his shoulders to loosen up his strained muscles, "Good. Damn thing stinks until it's cooked properly," Pushing open the door, Zack froze in his tracks.

In front of the large picture window on the other side of the living room, a bright ray of sunshine fell upon the frail frame, lighting up her hair and brightening the room. She stood, staring out the window and Zack approached, cautiously he whispered, "Cloud…?" He felt that if he spoke to loud, he would wake up from this dream, and she would turn and fall back into the deep sleep that she lived in for so long.

Her hands hung limply from her equally limp arms, a slight sag to her shoulders and a blank look in her eyes dampened his spirit again, but undeterred, his voice found the strength that he lacked and a bit louder, he asked, "Cloud?"

Slowly she turned to the direction of his voice and the far off look in her eyes was thankfully replaced by a focus that he had only seen once before; back in the paradise where she woke for just those few precious seconds, it had become his security blanket, it was his assurance that she was still in there.

She furrowed her eyebrows and confusion swam in her deep blue eyes, but then she spoke, hesitantly, her innocent voice floated to his ears, "… I'm… Cloud."

Vigorously, he nodded and took her by her shoulders, "Yes! You're Cloud!" His heart soared, beat with renewed passion, he had his Cloud back and now they could be happy, together. Hearing the door glide open behind him, he dared not turn away from the cobalt eyes that captivated him, "Red, she's awake!"

Just as quickly as his heart pounded, it fell, tumbled and crashed when she asked him, "Who are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: "I love cliff-hangers!" I giggle as I duck behind my desk. I know that some of you hate cliff-hangers, but sometimes I just can't help myself. I feel that it enhances the anticipation and emotional tie to the story.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads, favorites, subscribes and/or reviews, I appreciate your time and I dedicate all of this to you. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy."
> 
> Please send me your reviews if you want.


	23. Some Memories Will Never Be Forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.
> 
> A/N: The flashback at the beginning of this chapter takes place right before Cloud disappears and is put in the tank and Zack is put back in the smaller cell. I got the idea of using this song from my awesome beta! I'd never heard this song, and when she told me about it, I thought it would fit into a scene that I had planned later. However, as I wrote this flashback, I thought it fit better here. The song is, "Into the Night" by Santana featuring Chad Kroeger.

"A loving heart is the truest wisdom." –Charles Dickens

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 23

~Some Memories Will Never Be Forgotten~

_They had been together as a couple for almost three months now and thankfully hadn't seen Hojo since then, but that was bound to change soon. Cloud slept on her side as he stood guard so that she could rest, she had begun to have more vivid nightmares that seemed to start just a few weeks ago._

_If they had not been imprisoned, it would be considered creepy the way he watched her sleep, but he wanted to wake her at the first sign of a nightmare. Keeping her safe was his priority and if it meant he didn't sleep much so that he could keep her from dreaming of terrifying things, then so be it._

_While he kept his vigil over her, he watched her lips purse softly, as if she were kissing the cheek of her mother goodbye. A few moments later, her lips would become a thin line of stress, but then just as quickly relax and curl into a subtle smile. Soon enough, a twitch of her delicate eyebrows signified a questioning in her mind as she tried to decide if she should be afraid or not. It was close, the nightmare of her personal hell and Zack was there to rescue her from it, before it got to the point of her screaming._

_As soon as her eyebrows stitched together and a grimace crossed her ample lips, Zack shook her gently, "Cloud…" Her eyes snapped open just before she jumped and ran for the bathroom to vomit, this was the newest part of their routine now._

_Exiting the bathroom, she held her mouth as she panted lightly, her pale face finding his concerned eyes, "I'm sorry."_

_Zack stood and embraced her before she could say anything else, "There is nothing for you to be sorry for," He was the one who was sorry, he felt fully responsible for them both being here, but he didn't want to burden her further with his own insecurities._

_Relaxing into his arms, she hummed in contentment and swayed slightly under her own weight. Catching on, Zack tried to play off her muscle weakness so she wouldn't feel upset about him helping her, he held her upright and began to sway with her, in a kind of slow dance. Beginning to sing, softly at first, her face slid weakly on his chest as she tilted her head and asked quietly, "What are you singing?"_

" _Oh, just a song that I really like," Rubbing her back reassuringly, he continued, "It kind of reminds me of you, it was one of the songs that played the night when we went out dancing the first time," With a shrug of confidence, he added, "I liked how you looked when you danced to it."_

_Folding her arms around his waist, she grasp on to him. Sliding her face back down and burying the side of her face in his chest and nuzzling her forehead into his neck, she asked, "Will you sing it to me?"_

_Without question, he wanted to do anything for her, and he would. If she asked him to kill someone, he would, even if she asked him to kill himself, he would, so if singing a song is what she wanted, by everything that he held sacred in his heart, he would sing until she asked him to stop, "Of course. Now, you know that I'm not the best singer, but I will do my best."_

" _You're a really good singer. I love to listen to you, I always have."_

_When she said that, he ached at the thought of all the times that she caught him singing and she would giggle, it wasn't a bad thing, he wanted to make her happy. Once, he even purposely sang horribly just to get her to laugh until she snorted in that cute way that always got him to laughing, which started them both laughing at each other. Wanting so much to make her smile again, he took a deep breath and began singing the best that he could…_

" _Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell_  
It was love from above, like it saved me from hell  
She had fire in her soul, it was easy to see  
how the devil himself could be pulled out of me  
There were drums in the air as she started to dance  
Every soul in the room keeping time with their hands and we sang…

" _Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay_  
And the voices rang like the angels sing  
We're singing, ay oh ay oh ay oh ay  
And we danced on into the night  
Ay oh ay oh ay oh ay  
And we danced on into the night

" _Like a piece to the puzzle that falls into place_  
You could tell how we felt from the look on our faces  
She was spinning in circles with the moon in our eyes  
No room left to move in between you and I  
We forgot where we were, and we lost track of time  
And we sang to the wind as we danced through the night, and we sang-"

_Zack's singing got cut short when a tranquilizer dart pierced the skin on his neck. Being pulled into darkness, he still felt Cloud grip his waist harder in her shock. With nothing but boneless legs holding him up, he fell, taking her with him to the floor. Inky blackness moved across his vision and the last thing he saw was her eyes widening, and he tried taking a hold of her, but the lab techs still pulled her away, out of his weakening hands, it was useless; he was useless._

_Becoming more aware of his surroundings, the cold chill in the room left him with no doubt that he was in the lab and either naked or damn near naked. Cloud's scream of painful anger brought Zack's focus, but with the laced sedative that they gave him anymore, it left him unable to move or open his eyes, "Hojo! Leave him alone!" Without a warning, a sharp pain shot through his thigh. The sedative may have left him unable to move, but he could still weakly cry out in shock. Their short reprieve because of Hojo's absence was over now._

_Just when he was able to regain control of himself, the pain intensified, but he was able to grit his teeth instead and the grinding vibrated through his skull. The abrasive noise from his teeth almost drown out the voice of the man who he despised, "Inject another dose in the IV again, the noises it is making is distracting," Hojo's loud sigh as he struggled with pulling at the meaty flesh deep in the brunette's leg almost overshadowed the Professor's words to the blond on the table next to him, "Now, don't be so dramatic C, it will not be permanently damaged."_

_Listening from a deepening tunnel, Cloud's voice sounded as though it was starting to get farther away again, "He is not an IT! His name is Zack!"_

_Deep in the well, so far away, he heard her voice, the softness of her skin when she touched him, the gentleness of her soul that reached out to him and spoke to his heart. The way she welcomed him into her world, he wished he could live there, within her, behind those deep blue eyes forever. The feeling of heaviness left him wanting to not wake up, he wanted to stay in his dreamland, where they were free._

_Small delicate fingers drifted through his dark hair, waking him slowly, peacefully, her voice wrapped around him in a concerned whisper, "Shhh, it's okay now."_

_If a voice could quiver, it was then. Zack could hear fear woven in her words. With a shake of his head, he was finally able to move, and open his eyes. From his back, his head turned slightly to his left, her eyes widened when they met his, "Zack!"_

_Through his windpipe that felt like it had been stuffed with dry wool, he forced a mouth full of saliva down his throat, moistening the overly dried and tender tissue, "H-hey there babe." Not wanting to leave her distraught eyes, he glanced around to notice that they were in their cell, but there was something else, blood. Smudged on her cheek, her neck and across the front of her white t-shirt was bright crimson splattered in a spray in a gruesome display, "What did he do to you!"_

_Jerking up, Zack grabbed a hold of her, cradling her, but also trying to assess her injuries. From against his chest, she sobbed, grabbing handfuls of his stained shirt, unknowingly scratching him with her nails as she tried to hold as much of him as she could, "It isn't me."_

" _What?!"_

" _It's you… he did terrible things to you. I heard him say something to Jacob about increased number of muscle fibers."_

_Looking at himself, he noticed the bandages, around his thigh, the same one that caused him to scream upon waking in the lab, and he felt more bandages around his torso and hips. Registering pain then found its way through him, like a seven-foot katana slicing him open, again. The burn jolted him, but he was more concerned about Cloud, "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. What did he do to you?"_

_Shaking her head, she got out, "Just the usual exams and blood draws."_

_They laid there, he stroked her hair, kissing her forehead from time to time as she slept off and on. He pondered what the rest of their lives would be like down here in this dungeon of terrifying despair, there had to be a way out. Interrupting his thoughts, her voice sleepily filled the silent and darkened room, "I wish I knew you before all this happened."_

_Clearing his throat, he stroked her hair slower, "You did know me before we got kidnapped."_

_Shaking her head a little, she spoke again, "No, that's not what I mean."_

" _What do you mean then?"_

_Raising her head, she moved to his line of sight, her eyes peered deeply into his, "I mean, if I had given you a chance before…" With a slight fidget, she continued in a whisper, "I wish I had given you a chance to love me while we were still free."_

_Giving a gentle squeeze, he closed his arms around her, but then felt the pinch of another tranquilizer dart stab him. The next time he saw her was when Harding directed him to the other lab where she floated in water, the day of their escape…_

Those were her last words to him before Hojo took her away, " _I wish I had given you a chance to love me while we were still free_ ," They were the most precious to him. Now, he stood and stared at her, sun beaming around her, but her words were incomprehensible to him. He shut down, his jaw fell slack and he was left stammering, "What…? Y-you're joking right?"

Her eyes never wavering from the focus, her voice betrayed her fear, "Please tell me who you are. Where am I?" Through her dress, Zack saw the baby move and she froze, eyes widening as she bent forward, grabbing at her enlarged stomach, "W-What!" Staggering backward, her back hit the wall and she let out a scream, "What is this?!" Wild eyes darted back and forth between Zack and her belly, "What did you do to me?!"

The accusatory tone that filled her voice hurt him more than the words themselves. Hands up in surrender, he stepped forward, but she jerked back and hit the wall again, but he tried to speak to her, to calm her, "I didn't do this… Well, that's not exactly true, but listen, it's a long story."

She plastered herself flat against the wall, eagerly looking for a way out. His words didn't seem to reach her completely, pointing a condemnatory finger at him she yelled, "What a minute! I know you, you're the guy in the lobby that gave me his phone number! What did you do to me?! Did you drug me and drag me off somewhere?!" Her hysterics caused her voice to pitch higher with each question. "I'm calling the authorities! I knew I should have listened to my mother, she told me that Soldiers were bad news!"

Nanaki stepped forward, standing next to Zack, "Excuse me, but if you could calm down for a moment, he could-"

Freezing in place, and now pointing her finger at Nanaki, her eyes grew wide, disturbingly astounded, it was like Zack and Nanaki were watching someone go insane right in front of them. Right then, her high-pitched scream filled the room, unabated. Zack dropped his hands to his sides, it was useless while she screamed at the top of her lungs; he couldn't even hear Nanaki right next to him.

Inching closer to the door, all the two males could do was watch as she screamed at them, and flailed at every attempt that Zack made to comfort her. Finally she saw the buster sword leaning up against the wall and made a mad dash for it. In her expectation of the heavy weight of the sword that was as long as she was tall, she held on to it as she swung wildly, trying to get control of it and herself.

In surprise, she whispered to herself, "How can I lift this thing like it's nothing?"

"If you'll let me, I'll explain," Jumping in surprise at Zack's words, she swung again, losing control of the blade and causing the former Soldier to duck twice while she took out a lamp, a bookcase and the ceiling fan.

"Stay back!" Holding him at bay, she edged closer to the door, "I'm just going to walk out of here, and you can just forget all about me."

Hurt swallowed him, falling down into an instant depression, he half-heartedly whispered, "I can never forget about you Cloud… but apparently you can forget about me…"


	24. The Good, the Bad and the Pregnant

"Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us." –Thomas Paine

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 24

~The Good, the Bad and the Pregnant~

Backing out the door, she tripped backward over the carcass of the dead epiolnis that was left on the porch, sliding down the stairs on her back, she came to rest at the foot of the stairs on her rear end, sword still in hand. Bursting through the door, Zack yelled in concern, "Cloud!"

Flopping over to her side, she struggled with her burgeoning belly, using the sword to help her to get to her feet. With swift, but clumsily made movements, when she saw the raven haired man coming toward her, she jerked sideways and lifted herself as she lifted the sword. She had the tip of the sword pointed at Zack's neck as she spoke, "Stay back! I don't know what is going on, one minute I'm standing in the lobby of Shinra, joining the army and next thing I know…" Cloud looked around at the dense trees that surrounded the house and the small yard in the front, where they stood, "-You have me held prisoner here, doing Gaia knows what to me!"

The former Soldier heard the familiar voice before his eyes registered the sight, "You're right Miss, you don't have any idea what that boy is capable of." In surprise at the voice behind her, her legs gave out and she fell to her knees in the overgrown grass, and like a turtle on its back, she again struggled to regain her footing, "May I help you up?"

Zack bristled at the man reaching out to touch the one person who he wanted so much to protect, "Cloud, don't!"

Completely ignoring Zack's exclamation, a gloved hand grabbed a hold of Cloud's hand and gently pulled her to her feet, "Madame," Kissing her hand, she visibly shook in recognition of who the man was, "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Genesis Rhapsodos at your service," He bowed deeply at his waist and glanced up with a twinkle in his eyes as he asked, "And you would be?"

A blush crossed her cheeks as she forgot all about the goings on just moments before, "I-I'm Cl-Cloud Strife, sir!"

Zack eyed the man; greying hair, worn out red leather coat frayed at the edges and his overly pale and whitened skin, he looked like the walking dead, "Genesis! Get away from her!"

With a quick whip of his head, the twinkle that once was dazzling Cloud, turned into a smolder of anger, looking at his childhood friend's prized student, the former red Commander snapped, "Be careful how you address me, boy; Angeal isn't here to protect you from your mouth anymore; but you saw to that well enough, didn't you?"

Those words hurt, he hadn't wanted to kill Angeal, but it was unavoidable, or so he thought. Had Angeal lied to him because he just wanted it all to end and couldn't find the strength to end it himself? Did his teacher, mentor and friend use him? Shaking his head, he fought his urges to lash out blindly and he kept control of himself, he had to do something to get Genesis away from his family.

Cloud still held Zack's buster sword, but she was distracted, if he could just grab it, he could do it quickly, before she knew what happened. Willing the mako in his blood to his muscles, he darted forward, but was stopped short by a burning red rapier cutting shallowly into the skin on his chest, "Don't even think about hurting this creature that even the beauty of Loveless pales in comparison to her exquisiteness."

In a breathless momentary girlish blush, she raised her hand to her face, covering her mouth, "Really?!"

Rolling his eyes, Zack couldn't help the scoff that left his lips and Genesis took advantage of it, "See, not everyone is appreciative of genuine grace and refinement."

"Shut up Genesis!" Trying to recover the situation, Zack pleaded with the distracted blond, "Cloud, he is just saying these things because he wants something from you."

Glancing to Zack's violet eyes, Genesis lowly asked, "And you don't?" Leveling his eyes back to Cloud, Genesis smiled a suave smile, "He speaks nonsense. The only thing anyone who would be lucky enough to have you, would be to simply look upon your radiance."

"Cloud! You can't possibly believe this bullshit!"

Turning to look at him, her eyes welled up with tears as her face contorted in emotional distress, "What is happening?"

Still being held back by the fiercely glowing rapier, Zack held his hands up and spoke calmly, "He probably just wants the same thing he wanted from Sephiroth and when he didn't get what he wanted, he killed dozens of Soldiers and hundreds more infantrymen. He just wants something to stop his degradation and he will stop at nothing to get it." Waiting a moment, she still stared at Zack in confusion and he added with indignation and exasperation, "Look at him!" A quick wave of his hand, Zack got Cloud to look at the man and she finally could see past his fame and saw what was happening to him, she winced at Zack's next words, "He's desperate!"

This time, Genesis scoffed and swept his free hand lightly across her rosy cheek, taking away a tear that fell loose from her eye. The red-head's words were soft and gentle, "I don't want to hurt you... but that abomination that was placed in your womb could save me."

She looked down at her enlarged belly and back up at the greying man. Zack jerked forward, daring the sword to go deeper, "Don't you lay a finger on her or the baby!" His passionate yell got her attention, the look on her face tore his heart open, the pit of his stomach churned with the anticipation of danger, of the possible abandonment by his family that would do nothing but leave him a sniveling mess on the lush and dense forest floor, "The baby… That child was made in love." Zack's desperation bubbled over, "Please, don't listen to him Cloud," Waiting and seeing indecision and confusion muddy up her eyes, he pleaded dramatically, "Please!"

Turning to face Zack, Genesis's threatening tone clashed with his calm exterior, "I _will_ have liberation of this debilitating and life engulfing curse, I _must_ be free of this pain," Light blue eyes turned back to the blond, and in the split second that both were preoccupied with each other, Zack shouldered his way over to Cloud, taking the hilt of his buster sword from her.

"I can free you of the pain," Zack stepped in front of Cloud and narrowed his eyes at his former Soldier superior, "It will only take a moment," A growl of anger rolled out of his throat, "Trust me."

"Oh, is that how long it took you to kill my childhood friend, a _mere moment_?" Genesis stepped back when the sharpened edge of the overly large sword ran closely to his neck.

"I should have made sure that I killed you back in Modeoheim, but don't think that I won't make that mistake again," Zack widened his stance and narrowed his eyes. Fully preparing his body for battle, the mako flowed freely, his breathing calmed and time slowed, he had every intent on killing him where he stood.

A small hand tentatively flinched its way on his enlarged bicep, pushing down on it, willing the sword down and away from the crimson Soldier's neck, "Wait, he is in pain, that's all. I don't think he means any harm."

"Listen to your new master… _Puppy_. She speaks the truth," Being called Puppy by Genesis was made worse by the way he let an animalistic loathing drip from the once innocent nickname, it was just another reason to hate the man. The greying former Soldier lowered his left hand and a small ball of fire burst into existence and roiled over in his palm, his sword wavered slightly as his strength seemed to be sapped by the magic he called forth.

Zack's electric eyes, glowing from the mako, enhancing his vision like a predator. He never let his eyes leave those of the light blue luminous eyes of Genesis as he spoke to the blond beside him, "The hell with that, he means to kill you, me and the baby."

Pushing at his arm, she twirled him around to look at her, and the surprise at her strength made her gasp, "I don't even know you, and after what you did to me, how do I know you don't want to do the same?"

"Cloud! I-I didn't DO anything TO you," Keeping Genesis in his peripheral vision, he almost yelled his indignation to Cloud's implications, "I brought you _here_ to keep you SAFE!"

"Who are you keeping me safe from?" Moving back a step, she continued with a sob and her voice cracked, "Why? Why did you take me?"

"I-It is a very long story, can we talk about it later?" Glancing back to Genesis, he spoke to Cloud again, "I promise I will tell you everything, and I promise that this _man_ will kill you if you give him a chance," Turning his undivided attention back to his blond lover, "Trust me please, I only want to keep you safe."

Lowering her voice and letting her face fall, she asked, "How can I trust someone that I don't even know?" That took the breath away from Zack again. It was weird how words did more to him than any sword could.

When the red-head spoke something that the former Soldier didn't expect, while he didn't want to believe anything the man said, suddenly being defended took him by surprise, "Miss Strife, it would be in your best interests to trust him. Although we have our differences, his words reflect what is in his heart," Retreating slowly, he bowed shallowly toward Cloud, " _Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return_."

Yelling after the long shadow of the unwelcome guest, Zack followed a short distance, "Oh, please, let it stall your return! If I see you again, I'll kill you." Finally seeing Nanaki emerge from the house, he stood on the porch, but said nothing. Zack however had plenty to say to him, "Where the hell were you?!" Looking from Zack to Cloud and back to the brunette, Zack felt Cloud move behind him, hiding from Nanaki, so he tried to reassure the blond, "It is okay, he won't hurt you, he's a friend."

Seeing Genesis was gone, the strange feeling that he had had before made sense now. Perhaps if he could feel when the man was near, he could be ready sooner, now that he knew. Perhaps with Hojo's experiments, Zack was like the monster that Angeal described himself as at one time. One monster knows another monster. Waiting a few more moments, he flexed his shoulders hoping to relieve some tension in them, the tension that the presence of the former Commander had apparently caused.

Glancing to Cloud and knowing her well enough, he knew that she wouldn't relent without it being a challenge, so he spoke over his shoulder, "You can either come inside where we have food, a roof and it is safer, or you can stay out here and fend for yourself, but watch out for the Slaps that roam out here after dark, they can be pretty nasty to deal with." Hauling his sword over his shoulder, he slowly walked up the stairs, silently urging Nanaki inside.

With a questioning glare, his four-legged housemate went through the door and watched Zack shut the door just as slowly as he had walked up the stairs. Zack winked at him and added, "Watch this." After waiting for several minutes, Zack peeked out of the small window next to the door and smiled at the sight, he whispered to Nanaki, "Look."

There on the porch, she sat on the middle step, nervously looking around. A rustling noise just out of sight caught her attention. Shuffling back, she struggled to her hands and knees, reaching for the railing so that she could pull herself up to her feet. Zack could tell that she fought the urge to knock on the door, but a louder noise closer to the porch shocked her to fall to her side before she could make it to her feet. The thumping at the door wasn't knocking necessarily, but more of a panicked pounding just before the frantic, but quiet, pleading, "Let me in."

Opening the door, Zack fought a laugh when she fell inward and slid herself through the doorway and the rest of the way in the room, on her butt. When she looked up, her perpetual innocence reflected in her eyes and it made his heart melt. Reaching down, he held his hand out, "Do you need help up?"

With a huff, she pushed his hand away, "No! I can do it." Sliding the rest of the way in to the room, she slammed the door shut with her foot. An amused grin spread hesitantly across his face, Zack watched as the blond battled, panted, rolled, heaved, and scooted her way to her feet, "Okay, I'm not saying that I believe you, but I would like to stay here tonight and I'll leave in the morning, once all those… things… outside are gone."

Trying to keep calm, Zack sighed and asked, "Are you hungry?" Leading her into the kitchen, he drew the curtains closed on the window, he was on edge and stressed out and he was not going to let Genesis weasel his way into their lives. Right now though, he was just going to enjoy the fact that she was awake, whether she remembered him or not.


	25. Amazing Broken Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I added a song to this chapter. I think that this song fits perfectly how Zack feels about Cloud. I have to say that this song is what really keeps this fanfic story going. It is in the flashback at the end of this chapter. I know that there are a lot of flashbacks, but I feel that it is important, especially now that Cloud is awake, Zack is turning things around in his head and ending up living in the past. The song is "Amazed" by Lonestar.

"To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others." –Albert Camus

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 25

~Amazing Broken Dreams~

Eating in silence, watching every move she made, Zack had to watch himself and make sure he didn't just grab her and kiss her. It was a balancing act, keeping check of his emotions as his memories played over in his head. He had unintentionally memorized her mannerisms and habits.

She delicately tore at the cooked meat of the large bird-like creature that Zack had hunted down just hours earlier. Nervous bites of food, small and detached as she watched them both from across the table. It was obvious that she was hungry, but she controlled herself enough that she didn't eat too quickly. Zack waited her out, he didn't want to volunteer any information that would otherwise cause her to bolt out the door before he was able to explain anything and everything in a clear way.

Taking a hesitant sip of water, after closely inspecting it, she lowered the glass back down to the table. Zack leaned on his elbows, knowing that if his mother saw him doing it, she would slap him in the back of his head, but he asked as lightly as he could sound, "What are you looking for in your water?"

Coughing on the small bite of bird meat, she covered her mouth as her eyes met his. With a slight shake of her head, she stuttered, "No-nothing." Dropping her eyes, she took another bite and glanced over at Nanaki and tried to change the subject, "So you're a talking dog?"

With a snort, Nanaki got down from his chair at the table and stalked off and from over his shoulder he said with a tone, sounding tired from the same explanation, "My race is not canine."

Swallowing his bite of food, and waiting until Nanaki was out of the room, Zack explained with a smile and a hitch of his thumb, "He's a little sensitive, but deep down he's a just a big fluffy and cuddly kitty cat."

"I heard that Zackary…"

Ducking his head, Zack smiled and fought a giggle, but when he noticed a fair smile on Cloud's face, he let his smile radiate bigger. Averting her eyes, she took another bite of potatoes and tried not to look at him. He couldn't help but be reminded about the first time they had met. There were many firsts that she forgot about and that alone was enough to break his heart.

After dinner, with nothing to do now, Zack pestered Nanaki while Cloud bathed. Usually, he was the one bathing her after their walk, he suddenly felt so empty, so alone. Tired of Zack's antics and inability to stay still and quiet, Nanaki ran him out of the room and he wandered down the short hall to his and Cloud's room.

The sound of water falling in the shower dampened his soul as he ran a finger along the bristles of her hair brush. A few stray hairs clung to it and he internally lamented that she didn't need him anymore. For so long, she needed him for everything and it was something that he got used to, but hadn't realized it.

Startled from his reverie, a rogue question wrapped him in distrust, "What are you doing?" It wasn't her tone that was distrustful, it was how he interpreted her question.

Putting his hands in his back pockets, he backed away, "Oh, sorry, I was just thinking." Backing out to the hallway, he stood just outside the door. He watched her briefly in her soft pink sundress.

"You don't strike me as the 'thinking' type," A softness in her face hinted at a smile and it caught his eye, she sounded much more relaxed than she did when she first woke up, "I guess I'll be sleeping out in the living room?"

A wave of his hand, he felt out-of-place and he shuffled his feet, "Naw, you sleep in here, I'll sleep out there. I was a Soldier, I'm used to sleeping on the ground." Tapping his toe behind him nervously, he looked up at the ceiling, "…Too bad the couch is so small."

"Oh quit whining you big baby-" Turning to face him, the look of alarm in her features didn't hide the fact that she took a step away from him, "How do we know each other, really?" Zack didn't say anything at first so she filled the silence, "I'm not stupid enough that I don't know that some time has passed. I saw myself in the mirror and I am not the same as I was when I left home." Tentatively she touched her stomach while looking at it while she appeared to hold down her disgust, "I don't know what I've forgotten, but we know each other in some way. Were we friends?"

Luckily she didn't look up right away, he hid well the emotion that solidified in his throat, swallowing it down so that he could deal with it in his own way later, "Look, it's late and you look really tired, so why don't we talk tomorrow?"

She took slow and hesitant steps toward him, but it still got butterflies fluttering in his gut as he waited for her approach. Just as he let his hopes up, she got closer, he let the corners of his mouth rise. Did she remember him, at least a little? She answered his unasked question when she reached forward and closed the door. His nose almost touched the wood, he blinked once, twice and then bit his lower lip with a sigh of frustration.

Laying there on the couch, one hand resting behind his head, he watched the ceiling, shadows dancing without a care in the world. He had the feeling of nothingness, not being needed anymore was hurtful and it was something that he didn't know if, or even when, he would be able to handle it. All this time, he waited and prayed for the time she would wake up and now that she was, well he just didn't know what to do with himself anymore. As he drifted off to sleep, he thought back before they had made it to Cosmo Canyon and to Bugenhagen…

_It hadn't been long since they had left Conrad's place, and the boy-turned-monster-turned-man loaded up their bags with everything that he could. Talking to the man well into the night, he got another look, another type of glimpse into what it meant for you to love someone. Although the man had loved Bonnie, instead of taking her choice in stride, Conrad acted out and tried to put a wedge between the two lovers, causing them to grow closer at first, but in the end, it tragically caused Bonnie's death._

_Looking at the expanse of field that lay before them, Zack shifted his head side to side, popping his neck in a succession of tension relieving cracks. The tree line stopped, leaving them out in the open again. The limp blond at his side moaned in protest so he decided to take a break before he had to take Cloud up in his arms and make his way across the field as quickly as he could._

" _How about we take a break, it's almost lunch time," Sliding her down to the ground, she crumpled into a complicated ball of limbs and messy hair. Dropping the overly heavy bags, he debated on whether or not to continue with them, but he quickly let that thought disappear because as soon as he did that, there would be something that Cloud would inevitably need._

_Setting the bags on the ground, he began pulling out things to eat. Cereal bars and bottled water. Propping Cloud against a tree, he carefully pulled a small piece off of the bar and patted it down, making it small enough to fit between her lips. Unfortunately she didn't like it. Her tongue stuck out slowly, allowing the bite of food to tumble from her lips. As small string of saliva followed it down to her chest and then blew away with the breeze._

_Picking up the bite from the front of her shirt, he parted her lips and tried again and again she pushed it out with her tongue. When Zack tried again, she clenched her jaws tightly and pursed her lips, keeping a seal, making it impossible for Zack to place the food in her mouth, "Come on Cloud. You didn't eat breakfast this morning." Sitting back on his rear, he propped his elbow up on his drawn up knee, "You're starting to worry me. You won't eat or drink hardly anything anymore. And you aren't gaining weight anymore."_

_Popping the bite of cereal bar in his mouth, he winced at the soggy nature of the piece of food, "If it was anyone else's…" Eating two more bars, Zack pulled out the water to try to get Cloud to drink; she had different ideas._

_Holding her in one of his arms, he pulled her toward his chest and leaned her head back. Tipping the bottle, the water trickled out against her tightened lips, barely wetting them before it dripped down her chin and the side of her cheek. Rolling his eyes, Zack tried again, but again she didn't cooperate, "Come on Cloud, you need to drink some water."_

_Laying her down on the ground, he put his fingers on either side of her mouth, pursing her lips. Pushing in gently, he pried her jaw open until he was able to get the rim of the bottle closer to her teeth. Pouring some in, Zack heard a clicking in her throat, right before a violent cough sent a spray of water up into the concerned face of the former Soldier. Before he could pull the bottle back, her back arched painfully, her hands grabbed at her throat and she began to flail and wail like she was suddenly fighting an unknown assailant._

_Zack wondered what she was dreaming about, she looked ready to jump up and run. Pulling her up into his arms, she jerked back almost out of his grip, and her head smacked into the tree trunk with a thick thud. A sudden warmth covered his forearm, "Oh shit Cloud!" He hugged her to him, tightly holding her, keeping her from flinging herself around and hurting herself again, "Shhh, it's okay…"_

_Without thinking about it, he began to hum a song that he had stuck in his head, repeating over and over and it exactly how he felt about the blond. Cloud quieted slightly, so he began to sing a little louder. With the louder sound of the words, she instantly calmed and nuzzled up to him. Although he technically never dedicated it to her, he felt this way, and now he realized and was able to voice it, he had always felt this way about her. The time he watched her on the train down to the slums on their first unofficial date, all the times he helped her in her weapons training, All the times they ate lunch together, the late movie nights with Kunsel, laughing at his jokes and it all culminated when she expressed herself to him while she lay in his arms, right before Hojo put her in the tank._

_From this moment on, this would be their song and as soon as she woke up, he would sing it to her because it said everything he wanted to say to her, but was too scared to say it._

" _Every time our eyes meet_  
_This feeling inside me_  
 _Is almost more than I can take_  
 _Baby when you touch me_  
 _I can feel how much you love me_  
 _And it just blows me away_  
 _I've never been this close to anyone, Or anything_  
 _I can hear your thoughts, I can see your dreams_

_I don't know how you do what you do_   
_I'm so in love with you_   
_It just keeps getting better_   
_I want to spend the rest of my life,_   
_With you by my side_   
_Forever and ever_   
_Every little thing that you do,_   
_Baby I'm amazed by you_

_The smell of your skin,_   
_The taste of your kiss,_   
_The way you whisper in the dark._   
_Your hair all around me,_   
_Baby you surround me_   
_Touch every place in my heart_   
_And it feels like the first time_   
_Every time_   
_I want to spend the whole night_   
_In your eyes_

_I don't know how you do what you do_   
_I'm so in love with you_   
_It just keeps getting better_   
_I want to spend the rest of my life,_   
_With you by my side_   
_Forever and ever_   
_Every little thing that you do,_   
_Baby I'm amazed by you"_

_Stroking her hair, he watched her as she fell into a deep sleep, keeping a careful eye on the cut that she got on the back of her head. It wouldn't be much longer and they would need to cross the barren land to Cosmo Canyon, so Zack took the rest of the day to rest. Wiping a tear from his cheek that he didn't realize he'd shed, his eyes suddenly burned at the threat of more, she scared him. If he wasn't able to get her help, would she survive and would she be the same Cloud that she once was?_


	26. A Bad Week Made Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't really remember where the monster that I have in this chapter is located in the game, or the attack that it uses, so please just go with what I've got here. Consider me just taking a little artistic license with it.

"Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it." –Doug Larson

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 26

~A Bad Week Made Worse~

All week was nothing but Cloud escaping Zack's every attempt to jog her memories and it only served to heighten his anxiety. Then there was the fact that she was literally dodging him; once she went so far to avoid any contact that she bounced off the wall in the hallway twice with a quiet squeal and a grimace before she passed him and got to the kitchen.

Standing there and watching his angel dash, ungracefully, away from him, around the corner and into the kitchen was too much for him to bear. Biting his lip, he turned back, passed the kitchen and grabbed his sword. Taking a deep breath, he held the sword in front of him, feeling the piercing blue eyes watching his every move behind him, he flipped the sword to his back and pushed his way out the door. That was when he noticed the pinned up chocobo that he had been neglecting because of his own self-pity.

Petting the soft white feathers on the chocobo's side, his forehead rested on the side of her neck as he meekly described his heartbreak, "I don't know Marshy, it's been a week now, she just doesn't know me anymore."

With a coo, Marshmallow nuzzled her beak to the top of his head.

"I wonder if she will ever remember." Filling up the food bowl, the chocobo moved sideways, trapping the former Soldier between her large body and the wall, "Whoa, Marshy! What's up with you all of a sudden?" Marshmallow's intentions were shown when she nuzzled her head into the side of his neck and warked. Chuckling, Zack petted her and pushed her back a little to free up some space for him to breathe, "It's okay Marshy, I still love you too! You will always be my number one feather-covered girl!"

"Zackary, are you going hunting or would you like for me to go this time?"

Patting the feasting chocobo, Zack slowly recalled how he ended up outside this morning to begin with. The thought of being in the house any longer with a woman that didn't want to be around him did not appeal to him, "Nah, I'll go." Tilting his head, he talked to Red behind him, "I need to give her some space I think."

"Hmm, I think you are correct, but do not think of it like that. If you do, it will do nothing but create a blackness in your heart and that is just not you," Hearing a shuffling behind him, Zack pictured the peaceful creature sitting and shaking his head, "Don't forget, she loved you at one time, those feelings are still there, they are just filed away." Quickly adding, "At least we were able to convince her to stay."

"True," Making his way out of the pen, Zack locked it and looked at his friend with a raised eyebrow, "I just want to help her and she won't let me," Crossing his arms, he lowered his eyes, "She won't let me touch her at all, you know, to measure her belly, take her blood pressure or pulse like Sharna told me to, she is putting herself in danger," Shaking his head, he finished, "She has also been in an especially bad mood the last couple of days."

"Like you said, give her a little space, she is still scared and doesn't know what is happening to her own body. Didn't you tell me something similar happened to you while you were being held by Hojo? He was giving you injections, some of the procedures he did, and so on. I know, I've been through it also. Think of it that way, be the positive person that you were born to be, not the morose person you are turning into, that is who she is seeing, not the positive person she knew before." Rising and going back to the house, Red called over his shoulder, "Don't forget that note that Sharna left in the last delivery, 'Tell Zack to keep his chin up.' I do not want to be the one who tells her that you are not doing what you are told."

Being left out in the yard with a starving chocobo who was noisily scarfing down food behind him, Zack looked around at the serene scene that surrounded him. The house, the dense trees, the sprouting garden on the side of the house, the sound of birds chirping and the feelings of fatherhood looming, he took a deep breath and whistled an optimistic tune as he walked to the edge of the forest, ready to hunt for his family.

…Several hours later, the cheery tune that he was whistling had turned sour as he was no closer to finding and killing anything that was edible. First, there was the large pink flower that almost swallowed his leg, and then the swarm of Slaps that he stumbled upon that had chased him almost a mile before he lost them, but not before they 'slapped' him several times, leaving welts on his arms and back.

Giving up on the hunt for a moment, maybe throwing a little temper tantrum was just what he needed, so he picked up a stick, swung it and hit a bush, the leaves and berries tearing loose and flitting to the ground, berries rolling down the small incline, he felt like he did when he was small. The rebellious part of his personality set him up as though the stick was a baseball bat, aiming for a low hanging apple in a tree. With a _thwack,_ the apple soared and hit the backside of a grazing Gagighandi.

Jaw dropping, he remembered that he had not brought any softs with him since he had left the house in a distracted state of mind. With a growl, the monster turned and Zack muttered, "Oh shit…" as he stepped back and prepared to run. As predicted, the monster leaped over the bushes and chased after him.

Tree branches, thorns from bushes, and vines that littered the ground and tree trunks scraped at his skin as he broke out in a sweat from the cool but humid air. Hurtling over a ridge of rocks, he dashed to the side and went down an animal path, toward a small fresh water stream all the while the Gagighandi was right on his trail. Heading down the stream, hoping for the creature to lose his scent in the water, he glanced behind him and failed to see the upcoming drop.

Tumbling down the few feet onto the wet flat rocks of the stream, he stood quickly in the knee-deep water just as the monster attacked with stone breath. Ducking down, Zack threw himself to the muddy bank and rolled out of range. He was fixing to take off running again, but the monster slipped on a moss covered rock, leaving it vulnerable.

Unsheathing his sword, he glared down at the creature as it struggled to right itself and Cloud popped to his mind. Being held down by straps on the operating table in Hojo's lab, the way she cried and looked at him with the same look of despair in her eyes that the creature now looked at him.

"Ahh, shit!" Stepping forward a step, the creature flinched at his movement and a low whine seeped from its throat. Lowering his arms, the tip of the sword clinked on the rock next to the head of the blue-colored monster. The pointed ears lowered flat to the side of the head and Zack cursed, "Son of a bitch!" Waving his free hand, he yelled, "Get out of here!"

Slowly rising, the Gagighandi shuffled to its feet and in the process, it kicked at Zack, knocking him over into the mud again and into a fallen tree trunk before it ran off through the trees, "What the hell? I'm letting you go and you freakin kick me?!"

Getting to his feet, he shook his hands and arms, sloughing off a layer of thick, stinking mud. "Well this is just great…!" Stepping over to where his sword lay in the taller grass, "I won't be so forgiving next time." Deciding to call it a day, since his streak of problems that he'd had so far, he sheathed his sword and sloshed through the ankle-deep mud back toward the house.

Taking quick inventory of his injuries, he noticed that he wasn't really badly hurt, sore muscles, but his ego was what seemed hurt the worst.

From a distance, Zack could make out Red on the porch with Cloud sitting in the newly repaired porch chair. A girlish giggle caught his ear and angered him to the point of boiling over into rage. Adding insult to injury, the toe of his boot met a rock the size of his fist and he sent it flying with a firm kick and it hit a nearby tree, bouncing off and smacking him in the chest, rending him breathless for a moment and catching the attention of his two housemates.

Clenching his fists, his jaw ticked and he straightened his back, determined to not let their curious eyes disarm him. He realized that covered in mud, hair stuck to the side of his head on one side and no dinner in his arms, they would ask questions, but he stood his ground in his mind.

Quickening his pace, he hoped to get past them before they could ask, but it was too much to hope for, "Zackary, what happened to-"

He cut Red off, "Don't ask!"

Piling his muddy clothes next the wall, he glared at himself in the mirror and almost chuckled when he noticed that half of his face, neck and most of his hair was covered in the greenish-brown mud, but he stifled the urge to laugh, he needed to be angry right now.

He let the hot water hit his tense body, everything hurt after his failed hunting of the day. Ducking his head, the soapy water flowed through his hair until it finally ran bubble-free. Lifting his head, he stared up at the ceiling and closed his eyes so that he could picture Cloud's smile. An urging, a longing that he felt stirred within his fiercely beating heart, one that he felt coursing through him frequently, the need to be needed, he wanted to be wanted again.

The feeling of his hands on his stomach sent chills of desire through his gut, without thinking, his hands roamed down to his newly heated flesh. Closing his eyes, he let his thoughts float away to days when he was happy. When he would watch Cloud while she practiced her kata before weapons training, the way she would bite her lip and crinkle her nose just before she climaxed, the way she cuddled with him on the couch during a scary movie, watching her unflinching determination while trying to keep up with the other cadets on the track; he let a soft moan pass his lips.

It was then that he let it sink in, his entire world revolved around her, but hers did not include him, at least not anymore. Releasing his still hardened flesh, he put both of his palms on the cool blue tiles of the wall and fought the stinging tears of anger that threatened his composure. If there was anything more painful, more difficult to realize, to live through, this was easily more painful. His breath hitched and a sob that caught in his throat came out with a cough, the humid air warmed his mouth and nose with the smell and taste of fresh lilac shampoo, Cloud's favorite.

His fingertips inched across the tiles, clenching tightly into a hardened fists, until he heard the door to the bathroom slam open, "Zackary, it is Cloud, come quickly!"

From behind the shower curtain, he heard Red run back down the hallway. Turning off the water, he opened the curtain, jumped out, and chased after his four-legged roommate, uncertain of what he was about to walk in to.


	27. Congratulations

"I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure – which is: Try to please everybody." –Herbert Bayard Swope

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 27

~Congratulations~

Heading out of the bedroom, as he quickly secured the towel around his waist, Zack heard Red address Cloud, "Please be calm, this is to be expected."

Excitement bounded from Zack in a boisterous voice, "What?" Skidding around the corner into the living room, Cloud screamed out as she rolled over, away from him. Again Zack asked in a panicked tone, "What?!" Before he could get an answer, he slid across the wood panel floor, fell in an ungraceful windmill of arms and legs and landed with a hard thud on his side.

Breathing out, Cloud whined to both males, "Leave me alone!"

"Zackary, her water broke just a few moments ago."

Shaking the shock of his fall from his head, Zack looked down at his fingers in the watery mess that now almost covered him and soaked his towel. With extra willpower, he was holding down a lurch of illness as he groaned, "Yeah, I figured." He had no time to think, when the sudden weight of the situation washed over him, his child was coming and he had to keep control so that he could keep his family safe. Feeling a wave of panic, he took a deep breath and calmed his overactive heart.

Leaping over her, he got down on a knee, scooped an arm under her knees and another around her back, "Let me get you to the bed." Beginning to flail, she pushed at him while she blushed brightly, Zack demanded, "Damn it. Do you want to walk? Why won't you let me help you?"

"It's not that, I-I've never seen… -You don't have any clothes on."

Stopping for a moment, Zack's eyes grew wide in astonishment, "Are you freakin kidding me?! I've got a towel on for cryin-out-loud!"

Covering her face with her hands, she again rolled away from him, "I'm fine, just leave me alone."

Suddenly, her hands shot down, cradling her large stomach. Her eyes squeezed shut and she inhaled harshly, holding her breath. A soft, low and long-lived grunt rolled out of her. Zack didn't know what to say at first, so he just said the first thing that came to mind, a maddened sarcastic comment, "Yeah, your fine. Look at you!"

Red scolded, "Zackary, I hardly think that is helpful."

Standing up, Zack waved his arms, "Well dammit Red, she is just fine, she said so herself!"

Groaning loudly, she then yelled at Zack, "Shut up!"

The angry brunette argued with the woman, "No, you shut up!"

"Zackary!"

"What?!" Zack flailed his arms, "Do you know how to deliver a baby?"

"No, not a human child."

Leaning over to the writhing blond on the floor, Zack yelled, "Do you know how to deliver a baby?!"

Furrowing her eyebrows, she scowled and bit back, "No! Do you?!"

Standing up straight, Zack put his hands on his hips, "Yes, in fact, I do." Then under his breath he mumbled, "In theory."

Finally letting out a breath, she asked, "What was that last part?"

Raising his eyebrows, he tried smiling a deft smile, "What last part?"

Searching his face, her eyes wandered in pain and uncertainty, she sighed, "Never mind."

With an enthusiastic clap of his hands, Zack asked, "Well how about we do this then?" It shocked Zack with his abrupt change in tone, now sounding less like a challenger to her, to more like his usual upbeat self. His emotions were awash in polar opposite feelings, anger one moment, elation the next.

With a sigh, she moved her hands from her belly back to her face, "Fine."

Swallowing a lump in his throat, he tried to sound calm, "Okay, just relax, I'm taking you to the bed to lay down." Helping her to her feet, Zack remained cool in his demeanor, trying to keep her, and himself, from flipping out. Just as they got to the hallway, another contraction hit her. In a rapid movement, she reached out with one hand and grabbed the wall and the other hand grabbed Zack's forearm. A shallow breathless squeal left her lips as she began to slowly sink to the floor.

"Ahh! You gotta let go of my arm," Zack winced at the pain that shot through his arm as her fingers gripped tight enough for her nails began to dig in, taking deep purchase in his tanned skin and drawing little droplets of blood that speckled the floor.

With a glare, she pursed her lips and failed to let out the breath that she held just as tightly as her hold on Zack's arm. When the contraction began getting harder, tears welled up in her eyes as her body sank deeper into Zack's other arm.

"Breathe Cloud!"

Vigorously shaking her head no, she allowed Zack to hold her up, but she still refused to let out the breath.

Trying again in a more calm tone, Zack tried again as he looked directly in her face, "Cloud, you have to breathe." Again she shook her head, but he urged with a slow deliberate nod and a small smile as he spoke slower, "Yes, you need to breathe, just like you're blowing out a candle."

"Zackary, would you like for me to do something?"

Keeping eye contact with her and blowing out as an example to her and urging for her to do the same, he smiled to her as he said to Red, "Yes, can you lay out some towels on the bed and get all the medical shit out, please?"

As the contraction began to let up, she stood and pushed him back, "Stop touching me!"

"Geez, what the hell Cloud?"

"This fucking hurts!"

Raising his hands in surrender, he relented, "You're right, I'm sorry, I'm only trying to help you."

Waddling down the hall, closer to the bedroom another contraction started and she tried trotting to the bed, but didn't make it, she sank to the floor, and again Zack caught her from behind with his forearms under her arms. Trying to pull her back up to standing, he yanked on her shoulders, "Come on, you're almost there."

She refused to move and stayed firmly in her spot, on her knees next to the bed, shaking her head.

With an impatient grunt, Zack remarked, "Come on, you're almost there; just suck it up."

Reaching up, she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his face down to hers. He was now leaning over her shoulder, looking at her upside down, he had to put his other hand on the side of the bed to keep from falling over on top of her. With regret at what he had said to her filling his senses, she gritted her teeth and growled, "Suck _this_ up asshole!"

Never having heard that tone from her, it scared him, mainly because it sounded like another voice, deeper but still feminine. The sound was unnerving, it undulated with contempt, but he let it slide thinking it was just from the pain she was in. Her deeply luminescent blue eyes leveled out in a deadly glare. He'd been instructed during his field medic training that childbirth was the most painful thing known, so he had to remember to keep that in mind, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'll help you when you're ready, okay?"

Starting to breathe deeply, she released the back of his neck when the contraction began to lessen in intensity. Once he was able to get her on to the bed, he started to shift things around and bark orders to Red, "Can you go and get me some hot water in that bucket that Sharna had the medical supplies in?"

Without a word, Red padded off to the kitchen to get the water heated. Before another contraction hit her, he thought he better change clothes, put on pants at least; he didn't mind hanging loose and fancy-free, but for Cloud's sake, he thought to make her more comfortable. Turning his back to her, and without a thought, he dropped the soaked towel to the floor while digging for boxers in his dresser drawer.

Hearing a strangled gasp, he turned and asked in alarm, "What?! Are you alright?" Her eyes wide, she said nothing as she stared, that was when he got scared again, "Cloud? What's the matter?!" Still nothing, she was frozen, not breathing, "Gaia-dammit! Talk to me!"

Stuttering, her eyes traveled up his legs, bare torso, and finally to his face, "I-I uh, I-um have… Y-You're naked…"

With a blush, Zack realized and he covered himself, "Oh, uh, sorry. I'll get some clothes on," Making his way back to the dresser, he lied, "I uh, just got used to changing in front of you while you were comatose." Pulling some boxers on he tried not to let the hurt sound in his voice, "It won't happen again."

When another contraction hit her, she doubled up as she wrapped her arms around her midsection, "I am going to KILL whoever did this to me!" Letting a few breaths out she added, "Slowly AND painfully!"

Swallowing the thick lump of guilt, he stated quietly, "Yeah, I'm sure you will."

Zack waited until the contraction was over and he sat on the side of the bed. Reaching over, he started to lift the skirt of her dress so he could check the progress of her dilation.

Her mouth went agape as she snapped both of her hands down, cradling herself below her belly, "Just what do you think you're doing?!"

"I've got to check to see how far along in labor you are."

A feral type growl emanated from between her lips, "Like hell you are! You stay away from my - AHH!"

"What?!" He seemed as though asking that a lot, but he was new to this too. He'd read the books, he'd practiced what to do in his mind, and he felt ready; that was until he heard a scream similar to those he heard from her in the labs.

With difficulty, she relayed between deep panting grunts, "This is…different…than before – AHH!"

"Cloud, I really need to check you – you know, down there," He indicated with his eyes, the area that she still cradled with one hand.

"No! Get…away from – ME!" A long groan rumbled in her throat as she doubled over, rolling to her side.

A streak of anger made his heart pound harder and he felt the mako begin to flow, making his eyes glow brightly, he yelled, "Where the hell do you think the baby is going to come out of?!"

Red spoke from behind the brunette, "Cloud, please allow him to check. I know that you're embarrassed, but the child will be born, but allowing him to help you means the difference in life and death for your baby and you."

The deep, toothy grimace that covered her young face broke by the groaning breaths, "But this isn't _my_ baby, it can't be."

Red moved closer to her and questioned, "What makes you say that?"

Shifting her brightly glowing eyes from Red to Zack and back to Red, she whispered, "I'm a… virgin, so it's like Genesis said, it was put in me, so it can't be mine, right?"

Turning away from her, Zack swiped the jeans from the floor in a huff, "Whatever." Standing to pull the pants up over his hips, he finished, "Regardless of the way you feel, the baby is coming."

Nudging her with his nose, Red added a calm question, "Are you going to let him help you?"

Seeing that Red and Cloud had bonded sent a chill of anger and jealousy shivering down to his gut, it only got worse when she breathlessly asked Red, "Would you do it then?"

Looking to Zack's reddened face, Red responded to her, "I would, but I am anatomically incompatible to help you physically; without hurting you of course."

Another hard pain hit her and she screamed out while holding her tightened belly still with one hand. Through her teeth, in a pain-filled growl, she reluctantly moved her shaking hand that had held her dress down, "Fine, just get it out!"

Suddenly he felt light-headed. He nervously raked his hands through his hair and listened to his heart rate speed up, but it didn't feel like it was actually pumping any blood; it felt like heavy, toxic air was flowing in his veins, making his vision start to blacken. He was going to have to deliver the baby, his baby that came from the only woman that he wanted to have his child. On this day, he was going to become a father…

"Zackary!" Snapping back to reality, he focused and noticed that Red had moved from the other side of the bed so that he was right in front of the former Soldier, "Zackary! Get a hold of yourself."

Stuttering, he removed his unsteady fingers from his hair, "-Right, I can do this."

Another load groan got Zack's attention and when Cloud's head snapped back, she gritted her teeth and yelled, "Get It Out!" Her chest heaved in deepening breaths and she grunted, "Now!"

"Okay! Stop rushing me."

"Zackary, here is the hot water you requested," Red nodded to the bucket that he had set on the side table, Red padded back over to the other side of the bed and gingerly placed his front paws on the side of the bed and spoke to Cloud, "I am going right outside, I've got to make sure that we are safe. I will return momentarily."

"Don't go!"

"I need to Cloud, the smell of birth attracts all kinds of animals and creatures," Indicating Zack, he finished, "He will take very good care of you, I promise." Red trotted out of the room, leaving Zack alone with the woman who seemed to hate him.

Being faced with impending fatherhood, he had taken the complacent feeling for granted, now that it was actually happening, he started to regret so many things that he had done, and hadn't done. Quickly washing his hands, he took a frenzied inventory of all the medical instruments that lay strewn on the other side of the bed. Most of the stuff, he wasn't sure what it did, he would just have to wing it.

Helping Cloud to her back, he lifted her knees, bending her legs so that her feet were flat on the bed. Looking at her face, with her eyes closed, she loudly breathed out as she tried to focus on anything but the pain. His trembling hands reached for her skirt, lifting it above her knees, revealing what she had fought so desperately to keep hidden from him.

To him, he was unsure what he was looking at, at first. A quarter sized patch of dark, wet hair protruded from where he knew damn well there hadn't ever been before, he quickly surmised that it was the top of his child's head. Again, he felt light-headed…

Feeling a hard poking sensation on his side, he heard a far off voice screaming his name, "Zackary!" The inky blackness moved away from his vision, revealing the ceiling and an irate roommate, "Cloud needs your help."

In the background he could hear the frantic grunting from Cloud and he realized that he wasn't dreaming, "Oh, shit! I uh…" Getting up from his resting spot on the floor, he made his way back up to her and pushed the sweaty blond hair from her temples, he spoke quietly in a gentle voice, "I'm sorry. I won't pass out again, I promise." Their eyes met, and time froze, he saw his Cloud again, the one that had loved him, the one that had given herself to him willingly. With a soft smile, he gazed in her bright eyes, "It's time to push, okay?"

Breaking the spell, she nodded with a grimace, "Just get this thing out of me!"

Placing himself down by her feet, he spread her knees, and there was even more of the top of the baby's head showing than before. Taking a deep breath, he instructed, "Okay, Cloud, grab the backs of your knees and pull them up toward your chest, put your chin on your chest and bare down while I count, don't stop pushing until I get to ten and I tell you to stop. You got to push like you're trying to go to the bathroom, okay?"

When she did as instructed, he began to count, and slowly the baby's head emerged, "Stop pushing for a second." Taking a suction bulb, he began sucking out the stuff from the baby's mouth and nose, then he said, "Okay, as I count, you push again, but push as hard as you can."

Breathlessly, she nodded and squeezed her eyes closed and pushed the baby out into Zack's arms. Wet, and slippery, the baby let out a cry as it shivered in the cool room. Quickly taking a warm washcloth, he wiped the blood and other fluids off and wrapped the child in one of the many baby blankets that the people from the village made for them.

Looking down at the baby, he marveled at the soft black hair all over the head and the clearest, almost transparent, blue eyes he had ever seen. With a small twinge of sadness, he noticed that there was a mako glow to those beautiful eyes. His heart soared though, he was a father now and the baby was apparently healthy with an unusual muscle tone that was not common in newborns, but seen in new Soldiers after receiving their first injections. Holding the baby closer to his chest, the baby's cries slowly quieted.

Cloud's exhausted voice broke him from his trance, "Is it over?"

Knowing that she was too tired to fight him, he leaned over and kissed her forehead and asked, "Do you want to hold your daughter?"

Curling up as much as she could, her response was curt, "No."

Hoping that maybe she would try to show feelings for their daughter, Zack suggested, "Well you still need to name her."

"I don't want to. I'm tired."

Sadly his eyes went to the eyes of his little girl, and he said to Cloud, "If you don't want to name her, I'll name her if you don't mind. I have one that I thought of. It was my grandmother's."

Again Cloud responded with a bit of anger mixed with the fatigue in her tone, "That's fine, I'm sure whatever you come up with will be fine."

Pausing, he stared at Cloud's back when she turned over on the bed and sounded as though she fell asleep, he pulled a blanket over her. Zack knew that she didn't know that he was the father of the newborn, but it didn't lessen his anxiety about her unwillingness to even try to bond or hold the newborn. Turning his attention back to the bundle that quietly stared up at him from his arms, he rocked with a smile as he said, "Hello Charlotte. It's nice to finally meet you."


	28. Anything For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a warning on this chapter. There are some elements of non-con sex in a flashback form.

"People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest." –George Matthew Allen

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 28

~Anything For You~

_The cold air kissed his skin as he lay in his cell waiting for morning, but dreading the night even more. In the next cell, Zack could hear the soft breathing from Cloud as she slept restlessly and it was no surprise that she didn't sleep well because he didn't either, at least not anymore. Since they had been here, he slept less and less, but then there was the extra bonus that he took upon himself to keep Cloud safe from the roving hands of the depraved guards and lab assistants that worked for Hojo._

_From the way the guards and laboratory workers talked, he and Cloud had been there for almost two years now, although it didn't feel that long in some instances. Apparently they had both been in the mako tubes for several months before they woke up, and because of that, it was technically only a year and a half since they had been awake and mercilessly tested. Sometimes it seemed as though it were at Hojo's leisure and entertainment._

_However, the perversion that circled both he and Cloud finally found footing when Zack volunteered to take Cloud's place, a favor that as long as he lived, she would never know about. For now though, Zack lay there on his cot, shirtless, under his sheet and waited for the lab technician to show up, and he hoped that the short and pudgy brute lost his nerve, because Zack was certainly questioning his own resolve right about the time he heard the clink of a shiny metal key in the ordinary metal lock of the rusty metal bars._

_Taking a deep breath, Zack squeezed his eyes shut, willing away his fear of what he felt was his obligation for the innocent blond who was housed right next door._

_A whispered voice closer than he anticipated jarred him from his meditative state, "Now don't try to kill me."_

_Zack didn't bother opening his eyes, he could see the man's face as clear in his mind as he could any other day in the lab, or even the workout room. Without moving, Zack urged his strength to keep his voice steady as he spoke, "I won't, as long as Cloud stays safe from you perverts." Finally opening his eyes, he let the bright glow of mako shine, he could see the tech standing half way between the exit and where he lay._

_The darkened room was only lit from the hallway as the dim light filtered through the bars casting long shadows across the floor._

_Softly the tech whispered, as he closed the distance, "I've mostly been with women."_

_Looking at the guy standing there with a meek and timid posture, Zack would've guessed that the guy was a virgin, but he couldn't exactly argue with him. With a huff as he sat up, Zack let the words spill like venom, "It's either me or death because if you touch Cloud I'll kill you. I'm not stupid though, I know that if I kill you, there are more that will take your place so as long as we have an agreement," Zack paused at his next words, he had to swallow his pride before he could let them leave his lips, "I'll let you do what you want to me."_

_The young tech stood in place as he confessed, "Although Cloud is arousing in more ways than one; I have to admit that I do find you rather attractive too."_

_Rolling his eyes, Zack sighed and whispered through his teeth, "Just tell me what the fuck you want so I can get this over with!"_

_That was when the bashful look left the man's face and he sternly said, "Stand up."_

_Slowly standing up, Zack let the sheet slip from his form as he rose to his full height, a full foot taller than the young lab tech. The man's eyes gleamed as he caressed Zack's bare chest with soft touches, gentle and meant to be sensual, and his bare chest got a rash of goose bumps that spread across his skin. He didn't like the fact that it physically felt good, but it was unwanted touches that Zack needed to stop so he grabbed the man's wrists and angrily whispered, "Don't touch me like you care for me."_

" _Well, you may not want it, but that is what I want. I want to touch you all over, at least until you're as hard as me."_

_Alarm bells rang in his head as he yelped louder that he intended, "What?"_

_Raising his eyes to the taller man, a craving smile showed the slightly crooked and yellowing teeth of the unhealthy man, "That's right, although I like to dominate women, I like men to dominate me." The dumbfounded look on Zack's face spoke a million words and the tech spoke again with an amused lilt in his voice as he enunciated painfully slow for Zack's understanding, "I. Want. You. To. Fuck. Me."_

_Raising his hands, the former Soldier covered his face and muttered under his breath, "Oh Gaia, this can't be happening."_

_The feeling of the oddly rough hands of the tech moving down his chest and to the waistband of his shorts startled him as his shorts were lowered. Looking down at the smiling dark-haired tech as he put Zack's slack flesh in his mouth, he felt tears well up, but he was not going to let this man see him cry, not going to let him see his weakness._

_After several minutes, Zack still fought the feeling, but it wasn't necessary because his fear kept him from getting aroused, regardless of the activity that the tech did to him. With a sudden movement, he was released from the man's mouth and the wet skin that was now exposed to the chilly air caused a reaction, but it wasn't fast enough to suit the smaller man._

" _Lay down," Was the next command that Zack received._

_Sometime during the time that the man was down there, he had stealthily stripped his clothes off, and Zack had not noticed in the least, but he wasn't exactly paying attention._

_Laying Zack down on his back, the man positioned himself over his legs as he soothingly spoke, not necessarily to Zack, but more to the slightly hardened flesh in front of his face, "Come on, get hard for me." When the man stopped and pulled something out of his pants that lay in a heap on the floor and squeezed some, of what could only be lubrication, out on one of his hands just before it disappeared behind the tech's back, he began working Zack with his mouth again. The moans from the tech told Zack exactly what the man was doing to himself._

_Disgusted, Zack covered his face again, but soon after, he heard the tech say as seductively as he could, "Take me, now."_

* * *

Waking with a start, Zack could hear the echo of the man's words after the first time, " _Next time will be better._ " It was after that first time, that Zack had to start performing other things, and it was at that time that a guard joined in and he had to make a deal with him too.

Shaking uncontrollably, he opened his eyes and tried to make himself remember that it was just a dream; which happened a long time ago, but the sounds that the man had made while they were together sent a shot of revulsion down his spine. The taste of the guard in his mouth made him gag, he could still taste him, even months and years later.

Sitting up, he pushed the memory away, pushed the noise and tastes away and brought himself back to the little house in the Frog Forest, on a large couch. Sweat dripped from his brow, wetting his hair and his back. Another gag sent him forward on his hands and knees to the floor as he coughed and a violent sob escaped.

The entire time he endured that hell, before the men got transferred, he never cried. After the men left, right before Harding showed up, he never cried. The entire time that he and Cloud were on the run, he never cried about his torture by the hands of those men. Now he let it out, let it ripple, ripping and tearing its way out of his chest as he felt those moments, just like they were happening again. Drops of salty tears fell, making puddles and widening the droplets of sweat that joined them on the hard wood floor.

Sitting up with his back against the side of the couch, the dark room embraced him, comforted him as he wrapped his arms around himself, rocking back and forth, wishing to go home. He wanted his mother to stroke his hair, kiss his forehead and tell him that it would all be alright; he wanted his father to put his arm around him and give him a nudge of encouragement to keep his hopes up.

But there in the darkness, he let it encapsulate him as he let loose those feelings that he had held on to for so long, those memories that he wished could be forgotten…

The tick of the clock, the creak of the house as it swayed in the wind, the rattle of a loose window pane as it danced in the frame were the only immediate sounds he heard after he stopped crying. Sitting in the same spot that he had found himself in, he dared not move as he tried to wrap his head around the reasons for his being on the run. He was a father now and his daughter slept just a few feet away, oblivious of his torment.

A whine and a gurgle preceded a winding up of a tiny infant cry, such a small sound and it helped him shove the sound of the men back as he got over to the makeshift bed that he had crafted after they got to the house and before Cloud had woken up. There in the bassinette, lay a writhing newborn with his hair and brightly glowing eyes visible through the dark. Squinting in her work up to a full on cry, the glow disappeared when she closed her eyes and he wiped his hands on his thighs, feeling he needed a shower after his nightmare memory woke him. He didn't want to hold his child with those hands, but she was not going to wait and if he didn't pick her up, she would begin wailing and wake Cloud and Red.

Feeling the wiggling bundle in his hands soothed him as she struggled to look at him, "Shhh, it's okay Charlotte, I'm here." Pulling her up into his arm and cradling her, his free hand went to her long tiny fingers and she gripped his index finger with strength that he didn't think was normal for an infant, but he regarded it as Hojo's manipulation.

Right now though, she had stopped crying as she pulled his finger to her mouth and began trying to suckle. Zack couldn't help the soft grin that crossed his lips, "You're hungry aren't you? Well, let's go get mommy then."

With his finger still in her mouth, he could feel her biting down with her gums, and he was glad that she didn't have teeth yet, otherwise she probably would have taken the tip of his finger off. Making his way into the bed room, it had only been a few hours since the birth, and Cloud slept solidly.

A wave of panic settled in his gut as he suddenly feared she had slipped back into her coma-like state. With his elbow, he firmly nudged her shoulder, "Cloud." At first there was no movement except for the movement of her shoulders with her breathing so instead of touching her, he lowered his mouth to her ear and said her name again, "Cloud."

With a jolt, she turned and wiped the sleep from her eyes and said with a yawn, "…What?" Then a grimace covered her face as she realized her place now and the pain she was in.

He said simply, "You need to feed the baby."

Her eyes widened as she let a slight smile curl up one side of her lips as she took in the sight of Zack's large frame holding a tiny baby with one of his fingers in her mouth, but still she questioned sleepily, "Huh?"

Zack could see the humor in the sight as he cleared his throat and looked down at the fussy baby, "You need to feed Charlotte."

Blinking slowly, she looked down at her enlarged breasts and began to hyperventilating and she asked, "Oh yeah, I guess that's why they hurt so much."

Zack had to remind himself that she wasn't ready and when the baby forced his finger from her mouth, she wailed as her legs and arms strained from the effort of her cry. When he looked back at Cloud her horrified look changed to annoyance when she realized that the front of her dress was suddenly wet with milk. All Zack could say was, "Let me go get you a towel."

"Give me the baby first."

She held her arms up, hands out with a look on her face that Zack wasn't sure what it meant. As he handed their daughter over to her, his heart beat faster. He wondered if her rejection before was just her fatigue. The dark circles under her eyes were indicative of lack of sleep, but the look in her eyes was fresh and rejuvenated.

When she took the baby, the wiggling bundle instantly calmed and looked directly in Cloud's eyes until she lowered the front of her dress, exposing what the baby needed and she instantly latched on to Cloud's nipple. A hard grimace squished the new mother's features as the blonde's mouth opened in a silent scream.

Putting his hands in his back pockets, Zack asked, "Are you okay?"

"Uh yeah I guess, it just hurts a little and I wasn't expecting it."

"Let me go get you a glass of water and something to cover yourself." Bringing a glass of water back, and handing her a small blanket, he noticed that Cloud had scooted up to the headboard and she actively tried not to look at the baby who Zack could hear vigorously swallowing the milk into her empty stomach, "Here's some water." He couldn't help but smile, this is what he wanted, a family.

Handing Zack back the now empty glass, the blond asked, "Could I get something to eat too, please?"

"Oh! Yeah, I'll get you something, no problem!" Feeling better about his nightmare, it was almost forgotten at the sight and sounds of the two that he would lay down and die for. He would defend them to the death, regardless of the circumstances, he knew that he couldn't allow anything to happen to either of them.

In the middle of making a sandwich with the some of the cooked bird-like creature and wild growing lettuce that Red had found, he was about to head back to the room when the hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention. Peeking out the window, he noticed two glowing blue eyes and a black wing unfurled as the man sat on the back patio area, watching the brunette in the kitchen.

Heading into the living room, he grabbed his sword and flung the back door open to an empty area. Genesis was gone, and as the feeling slowly subsided, he remembered the sandwich and his two hungry girls.


	29. Teasing the Lion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: There are some music lyrics in this chapter and this song greatly influenced this chapter. The song is "Nothing Even Matters" by Big Time Rush. My kids used to watch that show all the time, and I became a fan of a lot of their music. As I've said before, sometimes I hear a song and it just makes the chapter flow and that happened with this song.

"If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up some place else." –Yogi Berra

**To You I Give My Heart**

Chapter 29

~Teasing the Lion~

Zack stood out in the front yard of the house, the shadow of the new morning cast long shadows on the ankle high grass that covered the small area. Still trying to shake the trauma and feel of the lab assistant's hands on him from his psyche from the nightmare a couple of nights ago, he closed his eyes and let the bright sunshine that filtered through the treetops to warm the tanned skin of his bare torso.

Anticipating the new mother to come out of the house, he began his warm up exercises without her as he thought of how she had talked him into teaching, re-teaching really, the kata that she had forgotten…

_As he held the newly fed baby, Cloud's eyes begged as her voice pleaded proudly, "Okay, well, you say that we're in danger, I need to learn how to defend myself."_

" _You got me and Red to protect you," Seeing that she was not taking that as an excuse, he snorted and exclaimed almost painfully loud, "You just had a baby two days ago!" Crossing her arms over her now ample breasts, she glared that dangerous glare that he had become accustomed to during their entire friendship and he knew then that she had made up her mind. Turning to his red friend, "Tell her Red, she needs to finish healing… or… resting or whatever!"_

" _I do believe that she has a valid point Zackary. Besides, with her enhancement, she appears as though she is healed and healthy, despite your terrible cooking."_

" _You're no help at all, who asked you anyway? -Wait a damn minute, I don't cook that badly do I?" A soft coo from Charlotte in his arms made him look down into her eyes just as she fitfully fit one of her tiny fists in her mouth, beginning to suck loudly. With a sigh, he looked up at the blond, "Fine. We'll start tomorrow."_

With his back to the door, he vaguely heard her exit the house. Turning during a movement in his warm ups, his focused eyes fell upon the woman of his desires.

She stood, fidgety on the top step with an extra pair of his pants that hung from her much smaller frame. The bottom of the pant legs, she had rolled up, showing very little of her combat boots, and a belt cinched in the waist, effectively bunching the extra material in several places. She made the white t-shirt better because she wasn't wearing a bra, not that she had one to put on, and it hung from her shoulders in an erotic mimic of a woman wearing her man's button up shirt that fit loosely and only covered the parts that were important, but leaving tantalizing legs showing. She had pulled her hair back in a braid that hung over one shoulder, teasing all the way down to her waist.

"This was really all I could find to wear. I didn't think that a sundress would be easy to move in."

A small curl of his lips lifted his downed spirits from just a few moments ago, Gaia she was beautiful. Unable to speak at first, he heard Marshmallow wark excitedly, jerking him from his musings, "Um, I guess that will be okay, can you move in it?" He had to remember to get her some clothes that she could work out in, not that he didn't like the look of her in his clothes.

Nodding slowly, she looked down at herself, pulling at the material of the pants, "I think so."

With a quick wave of his hand, he called, "Well, come on, we'll start with the basics."

Cloud had an uncanny ability to pick up the movements, Zack just figured that it was muscle memory. All morning, with one break to feed the screaming infant, Cloud had picked up the entire kata movements and was able to mimic them back perfectly. After they ate some lunch, and Cloud fed the baby some lunch, Zack proposed that she move on to using a sword while performing the exercises.

Pulling his sword from the house, he handed it over to Cloud and took up a spot right behind her. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he slowly ran his hands from her shoulders, to her upper arms and on down to the grip she held on the grip of the sword. Correcting her hold, he held firm and started the movements to the first stance, allowing her to move loosely in his arms.

The smell of her hair, just below his nose, he caught himself losing his breathing with the movement, but her smell was intoxicating.

_'Cause the world stops_  
_When I put my arms around you, around you_  
 _And nothing even matters_  
 _And nothing even matters_

The feel of her in his arms once again was almost more than he could handle, but he didn't want to say anything, he almost didn't want to move to ruin the moment, maybe causing her to pull out of his encircled arms of protection.

_This wall we built together,_  
_there ain't no way of knocking it over_  
_We'll be here forever, getting closer, and closer baby_

Together, they began to move as one, one like oil, the other like water. Where one moved, the other took that space, although oil and water didn't mix, they complemented each other, keeping their movements fluid.

_It's like the sound goes off and the people all freeze_  
_They disappear and it's just you and me_  
_Anything you want to do, anything you please_  
_Forget about our problems, forget about our past_  
_I've seen the future and I know we're gonna last_  
_Every second I'm with you just goes so fast_

Both of them had worked up a sweat, and gone through the kata a few times already, but Zack couldn't force his hands from hers. Getting to the fourth pose, she asked, "We were good friends, weren't we?"

Clearing his throat, his voice betrayed his nervousness of the subject, "Yeah, we were."

"Did you teach me all this before?" Moving in unison to the fifth position, she continued, "It's just that this kind of feels familiar."

Stopping and backing away, Zack couldn't hide any emotion, "Really? You remember that?"

Not looking at him, she kept her back to him as she started into the next pose, "Yeah, I think so, I just seem to get this stuff pretty quickly. So it makes sense that you taught me before."

Realizing that she didn't mean the way she felt in his arms, he swallowed and covered his mistake and backed away a couple more steps, "It's possible." Reaching down and taking one of the canteens of water, he tilted it back and gulped down the water. His sweat drenched hair dipped and tickled his back; pouring a little water over his head, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the cool water trickling through his hair and down over his face and down to his chest.

Opening his eyes, he noticed that she had stopped her purposeful movements and stared at him, mouth slightly open and hungry eyes urging her to move to him. He had seen that look on her before, back when they were a couple in the labs, when she felt especially needy for his touch. Unconsciously, she licked her lips slowly and he couldn't help but play on it a little, tease her.

Seeing that she only half-heartedly moved in the exercises, her eyes stayed fixed on him and roamed in a dream-like state on his bare, sweaty chest and abdomen, he took some of the water and poured more of it on his head again and wiggled his head just enough for the water to run more down his chest, across the tight muscles that covered his large frame. With a mischievous grin, he took his other hand and touched his chest, spreading the water over the rest of his skin, over the few scars and the well-developed pectoral and abdominal muscles, perfectly etched.

Still with a grin, he asked with a hint of flirtation, "You like what you see?"

Her eyes snapped to his face so quickly that he could swear that he heard air move like it did around a rapidly moving object when you swing it. Her cheeks flushed brightly as she returned to the exercises. With a laugh, Zack moved to her side to correct her stance. Placing one of his hands on her left shoulder and the other on her right elbow, he changed her positioning slightly. Noticeably keeping her eyes anywhere but him, she moved to the next position silently.

He couldn't help the smile in his voice as he corrected her movements, "Now that I'm not behind you, you're having more trouble. Do I need to help you again?"

With a sideways jerk of her head, she adjusted her grip and focused directly in front of her and curtly said, "Why don't you put a shirt on and then _you_ wouldn't have a problem."

With a tap on the bottom of her elbow and a nudge of his foot on hers, his correction culminated when he lightly slapped the back of her hand. Watching as she fixed her grip, he said like silk, "It seems that I'm not the one with the problem." Again he moved her elbow as she moved to the next position, "If you can't do this without distraction, then why do it at all? I thought you wanted to be a Soldier." He internally smiled at the struggle that he could see in her eyes.

Their whole friendship had been them challenging one another, keeping the other on their toes and furthering both of their skills. The Cloud that he had known before knew most of his tricks, but this new amnesic Cloud didn't really know what to look for in his comments and when he was goading her. It made him sad because at some point in their relationship, it had become a game, but now it was too easy, not being a fun challenge anymore. However, at the same time, she always reacted the way he anticipated, making it somewhat easy to manipulate her, thus making it easier for her to stay with him, where he thought it was safest.

Clearing her throat, she furrowed her eyebrows at the tap on the back of one of her knees, "I don't have a problem," Lowering her arms and letting the tip of the Buster sword fall to the ground, she almost growled, "Maybe I could go shirtless too and see if _you_ can concentrate!"

Raising his eyebrows, he liked that idea, but he playfully said with a shrug of his shoulders, "It would be difficult to concentrate, but I could do it."

Bursting out in a semi-angry yell at his nonchalant attitude, "You might as well have boobs like Shiva. Big blue ones! With ice coming out of them! Your-your-muscles are just as distracting to me-" Stopping abruptly, she bit her lips closed as her face turned bright red.

With a sly smile and a strategically raised eyebrow, he asked slowly, "So, you _do_ like what you see?"

Throwing the sword down, she yelled, "That's not what I mean!" Crossing her arms, she huffed, "Oh, forget it."

Laughing out, he watched as she fumed in place, wanting to leave, but her pride wouldn't let her, she had asked him to teach her. Handing her the other canteen, he inquired, "Listen, dinner is in a couple of hours," The wail of their child interrupted his thought, so he changed his statement and said to Cloud, "While you feed Charlotte, I'll get us some dinner together and maybe we can have a civilized talk."

Visibly swallowing, Cloud's anger dissipated and a sadness replaced what the anger had left behind. She lowered her arms, "That sound fine." As she passed him to go into the house, Zack heard her mutter, "I'm only good for feeding the baby anyway."

Ducking his head down, he reminisced about the look on her face while he teased her. The blush of red was perfect across her skin. With Red gone making a larger perimeter check, it fell to Zack for everything so after his shower, he walked into the living room to see Cloud sitting on the couch, rocking the bassinette with her foot as she read one of the many books that the researcher left.

The baby was fussy, and Cloud's disinterest curdled Zack's blood in his veins. For almost a week now, the only time she held Charlotte was to feed her, never just so she could be close, she had yet to call her by her name, Cloud always referred to her as "the baby." Cloud's unspoken duty as the baby's food cart was all the woman thought of herself.

Zack made up his mind, he was going to take the both of them on a walk tomorrow, hopefully bring them together as mother and daughter. "Hey! What's all the fuss, guss?" Zack asked the baby with a loud laughing tone. Charlotte stopped fussing and looked directly at him as he picked her up, Zack asked, "How about we go and fix some food for mommy?" Stuffing a fist in her wet and toothless mouth, she relaxed in his arm as he headed to the kitchen.


End file.
